Parents

[cathal]

Recently a mother & her daughter visited our dojo and while sensei taught the class I chatted with them about us. She seeemed...well passionate about it. She barraged me with questions and I got the distinct impression she wanted to make sure we taught a well-rounded curriculum. I explained what we taught, when we taught it, and gave a (very) basic introduction to our style (Traditional Shotokan).

She said her daughter had trained in two other dojos and none of them had what it takes. This is where I became concerned and asked why she had chosen to move on. She explained the other dojos were all about Karate, and not teaching culture, etiquette, and history. I was surprised because I had believed this was a normal part of any martial art, regardless of the originating culture. So I explained yes those things were a part of our training, wrote down the website URL so they can check it out online, and invited them to train with us. So she said they'd check out the website and come back later.

As I don't have a lot of experience interacting with parents directly, can you tell me if this is a typical conversation? I felt as though I were being interrogated at one point.

[Rick_72]

I don't think its really all that normal. Most parents I talk to really don't know much about the culture, and aren't all that interested in learning about it. Normally, they just want their children to have a fun, safe activity in which they can burn some after school energy, or help them get into shape (for those couch potato kids). Although later on many get very interested in the culture, if they start to see what they were looking for from their kids.

I'd look at them with an open mind, could be a diamond in the rough for you. If the mother and daughter are both interested in not only Karate, but also the culture behind it, they could turn into a really good family to have in your dojo.

[Quien]

Well, I don't think so. Strange parents can be found everywhere, but nowadays a lot of people drop their children to a gym as they could sign them up in guitar or football. Not for the spirit of Martial Arts. Only an activity to spend their leisure time, allowing adults a rest from children. They can be interested, of course, in teaching some habits for their normal life, and to keep them in a nice ambience, but I don't think it gets usually commented in such a serious way.

I'm sure if that woman finally signs her daughter up, it will became a really anoying person and may discourage her from really enjoying the class.

[cathal]

Well, I don't think so. Strange parents can be found everywhere, but nowadays a lot of people drop their children to a gym as they could sign them up in guitar or football. Not for the spirit of Martial Arts. Only an activity to spend their leisure time, allowing adults a rest from children. They can be interested, of course, in teaching some habits for their normal life, and to keep them in a nice ambience, but I don't think it gets usually commented in such a serious way.

I'm sure if that woman finally signs her daughter up, it will became a really anoying person and may discourage her from really enjoying the class.

Regrettably we have a parent in our dojo like that. She drops her kid off to something every night of the week. EVERY NIGHT...no exceptions. It's quite sad.

[Sunrunner]

As an instructor I would personally be overjoyed that a parent would be so passionate about their child learning the culture and etiquette of and through a martial arts class. It may get to any annoying stage, but I would welcome it as a change from the usual parents that drop off their child and don't ask questions about what it is that their child is doing for an hour two to three times a week.

[cathal]

Is there an issue where anyone has had to deal with parents who were too involved?

[bushido_man96]

Is there an issue where anyone has had to deal with parents who were too involved?

This is almost as bad. They will try to iterate things about the MA to their children during class, while you may be teaching them. You have to pull them aside and tell them that the child needs to understand that you are the instructor, and that outside interference like this will only hinder their advancement. Kind of a nice way of saying, "Listen, man, you don't know jack about the MA, so just back off, and let me teach."

[bushido_man96]

As an instructor I would personally be overjoyed that a parent would be so passionate about their child learning the culture and etiquette of and through a martial arts class. It may get to any annoying stage, but I would welcome it as a change from the usual parents that drop off their child and don't ask questions about what it is that their child is doing for an hour two to three times a week.

I personally enjoy learning the history and culture behind the martial arts, but I just like history in general, especially ancient warfare.

However, and everyone make sure they are sitting down for this,...........................I don't feel that the study of history and culture are necessary requisites to becoming a good martial artist . Sure, it is great to learn, if you are into that stuff, but it has nothing to do with the focal points of the martial arts, which is either fighting or learning how to defend yourself. It is fun to learn, but unless you plan to bore your opponent with a history lesson, it will not serve much use when it comes time to fight for your life.

[lordtariel]

I don't feel that the study of history and culture are necessary requisites to becoming a good martial artist . Sure, it is great to learn, if you are into that stuff, but it has nothing to do with the focal points of the martial arts, which is either fighting or learning how to defend yourself. It is fun to learn, but unless you plan to bore your opponent with a history lesson, it will not serve much use when it comes time to fight for your life.

Unfortunately nowdays, a lot of children don't get any of that from home or school so the time in the dojo's the only time they get that stuff. Not to mention if that information doesn't get taught, pretty soon it will be lost forever. It might be important for fighting skill, but I see no harm in incorporating a little of it in your classes.

As to the main topic, if the parent wants to enroll the child in a class where she gets those sorts of things, that's up to her... she's the one who's paying.

[Quien]

As an instructor I would personally be overjoyed that a parent would be so passionate about their child learning the culture and etiquette of and through a martial arts class. It may get to any annoying stage, but I would welcome it as a change from the usual parents that drop off their child and don't ask questions about what it is that their child is doing for an hour two to three times a week.

I personally enjoy learning the history and culture behind the martial arts, but I just like history in general, especially ancient warfare.

However, and everyone make sure they are sitting down for this,...........................I don't feel that the study of history and culture are necessary requisites to becoming a good martial artist . Sure, it is great to learn, if you are into that stuff, but it has nothing to do with the focal points of the martial arts, which is either fighting or learning how to defend yourself. It is fun to learn, but unless you plan to bore your opponent with a history lesson, it will not serve much use when it comes time to fight for your life.

There is time for everything. From my point of view, you can start telling them some small pieces of information about the story of Martial Arts during class, if they are related with what you are teaching at the moment, but not becoming an obsession from the first class. Martial Artist road is long, and everything must happen at the correct time.