This is how it began

[khubani]

.aa

Edited October 5, 2006 by khubani

[bushido_man96]

Welcome to the forums! Glad you are here.

As for your question, I would start with reading up on meditation and things such as this. It takes years to attain the mastery of what you are describing, so you have a ways to go. Be patient, and try to find out where you could do some training.

Good luck!

[khubani]

Years? I had a feeling you would say something like that. I'm turning 20 in less than 24 hours from now, it seems I've had a late start. I already have a basic understanding of meditation and have done it for short periods of time. And thank you for the warm welcome. Any other advice?

[Sohan]

If you want to develop mastery of power and energy, you would probably do it best by not being up at 3:00 AM.

Go back to sleep.

With respect,

Sohan

[elbows_and_knees]

not to dishearten you, but it sounds like you have a somewhat over romanticized view of qi...

for everyone to feel your presence, you don't need qi - you need confidence. Walk tall, look people in the eye as you approach. your walk is something simple that can project a lot about you.

as for your age - you're a baby. At 28, I'm a toddler, but was fortunate to start when I was younger. you definitely haven't started too early.

[khubani]

I appreciate you all defining my perception of internal arts. So it's really not a matter of qi, but it's a matter of self-confidence, something I greatly lack because of conflicts of interest. I suppose this isn't the place for me.

[alsey]

meditation and desire for power don't go very well together. the thing with meditation is that the more you look and strive for benefits to the self, the less benefits you will recieve. if you practice meditation with this attitude you will either get annoyed and quit because you're not 'getting' anything, or you will gradually lose that attitude and then start benefit from it.

[khubani]

meditation and desire for power don't go very well together. the thing with meditation is that the more you look and strive for benefits to the self, the less benefits you will recieve. if you practice meditation with this attitude you will either get annoyed and quit because you're not 'getting' anything, or you will gradually lose that attitude and then start benefit from it.

You're right, but I don't desire power just to have it. I desire that energy for self satisfaction, and to feel a sense of youth, emotionally. I want to be able to harness a sense of aura from my body, to engulf myself in an overwhelming feeling of happiness - a feeling of completion. This, in my opinion, is achieved through the clarity of the mind. i.e; meditation

..But where do I start?

[elbows_and_knees]

you're right, but I don't desire power just to have it. I desire that energy for self satisfaction, and to feel a sense of youth, emotionally. I want to be able to harness a sense of aura from my body, to engulf myself in an overwhelming feeling of happiness - a feeling of completion. This, in my opinion, is achieved through the clarity of the mind. i.e; meditation

..But where do I start?

start here on this forum. Then, train martial arts. find a school in your area and begin training. This will help you feel more energized, get in shape - over all feel better about yourself - which will in turn enhance your confidence. rank testing may help with your feeling of completion, or possibly competing and winning. competition is an excellent way to achieve clarity of mind.

So it's really not a matter of qi, but it's a matter of self-confidence, something I greatly lack because of conflicts of interest.

If you don't mind me asking, what is this conflict of interest?

[alsey]

You're right, but I don't desire power just to have it. I desire that energy for self satisfaction, and to feel a sense of youth, emotionally. I want to be able to harness a sense of aura from my body, to engulf myself in an overwhelming feeling of happiness - a feeling of completion. This, in my opinion, is achieved through the clarity of the mind. i.e; meditation

exactly, you want self satisfaction. you want to make your self happy. meditation aims to get rid of this selfishness, to get rid of all desire. in some of its deepest forms, meditation aims to temporarily destroy the ego completely so there is no self.

ironically, this quest for selflessness brings benefits to the self. as you put it, happiness and completion.

..But where do I start?

sit down, close your eyes and breath. preferably somewhere quiet with no distractions. then just keep doing it; as in my sig. its all about patience. lots and lots of patience. i learnt to meditate from this book:

http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_english.php

i thoroughly recommend it.

elbows_and_knees has great advice too; training in MA will do wonders for your confidence and will give you some goals to go after.