Ridiculous Attitude

[Dont call me Sir]

Respect is earned, not demanded.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. I understand what you mean, but you should respect everyone. Only when they lose your respect should there be the need to earn it back.

Tom,

Personally her actions wouldn't have bothered me and I would've shrugged it off and forgotten about it. However, if she has offended you, then wait until the right/convenient/appropriate time, take her to one side and give her your opinion in a respectful and diplomatic manner.

DCMS.

[Spirit At Choice]

Waiting for her to slip up may sound immature, but you got to make light of an aggrivating situation to continue to have a good time. She will either think its funny and see how dumb it sounds, or get mad and still see how dumb it sounds. Either way, she probably won't try to mess with you anymore.

That is a passive-aggressive tactic. A mature, responsible, reasonable way to let some one know something is to TELL them. Not conspire and scheme to do something that will teach them a lesson. You're assuming that the girl will have one of two reactions. The reality is she can have an infinite number of reactions. One of them may be to claim harrassment or bullying or discrimination.

Of course we go to class to have fun, etc. But some people do take their training more seriously than others. They are not wrong any more than the hobbyist martial artist is wrong. They are both legitimate approaches to the practice.

I have had people try to run me over. I look them straight in the eye and say, "I will not let you run me over." It works much faster than shoving back or playing games, and completely defuses the situation. I had a problem with my ex-husband recently where he basically said I was going to give him a large chunk of money when I sell my house.

I didn't play games with him, or try to teach him a lesson. I just said, "Sorry. No I'm not." He tried to send me on a guilt trip. Do I have to throw it back in his face in order to be strong? I really don't think so. I think I can just tell him No, and walk away. And I think that makes me strong. And I don't feel run over.

What is lost by saying, "Oh. I see some people object to leaning against the walls. I choose to respect (or ignore) this objection."? How is the poster "run over?" If he feels like he was paid some discourtesy, the mature response is to deal with it on his own, or deal with it directly with the girl or her superior.

I see no honor in messing with her head in the hope that she will see your point.

[TaeKwonDo Afficianado]

Hello all.

Thanks for all the input.

Personally I had already pretty much decided to not do anything about it, I was just wondering what you guys thought of her attitude and has anything similar happened, etc. I'm a pretty laid back person 99% of the time, and don't get worked up easily.

I'm not really "offended" by her, and it's not as if she purposely TRIES to be a snob. But rest assured, she is a snob. But she is the only one in the entire class who has ever acted like that to me, and only about 2 or 3 times or so. I don't think she even "gets it", that she is being really rude, and yes the way she said it was sooo bad. There were 2 other red belts on each side of me too, and she walked like 3 lines over just so say it.

But anyways, no I don't plan on trying to "retaliate" by correcting her for anything. I mainly just wanted to relate my story, and state my point of view that we go to the dojo to learn, not be be scolded, like some others have said here.

So anyways, I'm not really mad at her, I can accept her attitude, just find her personality to be like sandpaper.

Anyways, once again thanks for all the input I do appreciate it.

Who knows, I probably could get back at her in sparring.... We're supposed to go heavy contact, and she is way higher rank than me and older than me, but I'm definitely way stronger than her, and maybe have a few moves that I can unleash faster than some of hers. So I probably could teach her a lesson If I wanted to in sparring (maybe maybe not) but I plan on just letting it go as if nothing happened, like I already decided. I just wish everyone in martial arts could relax a little bit more, or just say "Hey could you please not lean on the wall?". Because this dojang, to me at least, is not that "traditionalist".... we pay our respect but our Master likes to have fun and he likes us to have fun.

all the best,

Tom

[ninjanurse]

Respect is earned, not demanded.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. I understand what you mean, but you should respect everyone.

Of course you should respect everyone! That is how you earn respect in the first place. It's like the age old question.."Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

[Spirit At Choice]

Hello all.

So anyways, I'm not really mad at her, I can accept her attitude, just find her personality to be like sandpaper.

There will always be people like that in the world. I think you are wise to recognize that it is *her* problem, and just leave her alone with it.

I just wish everyone in martial arts could relax a little bit more, or just say "Hey could you please not lean on the wall?". Because this dojang, to me at least, is not that "traditionalist".... we pay our respect but our Master likes to have fun and he likes us to have fun.

My dojo is that way too. They will tell you please don't lean on the walls/targets/equipment, etc., but we have so much fun! My instructor is the owners' son and he is a natural teacher. He assigned 50 push ups to a boy for refusing to work with a girl, and he laughed with the kid because he said his dad made him do 50 pushups for the same reason when he was a kid. Everyone is totally at ease, but there is an acceptance of expected protocol too.

[jaymac]

I do think the way that she approached you could have been handled differently. She could have instead said " It might be best if you did not lean on the wall." She is just power hungry and that happens. However, getting back at her at sparring is really not a good idea. Be the mature one and just get passed it. If she continues to give you a rough time, ask her if she has something personal against you because she is being rude and talking to you as though you are an infant.

[TaeKwonDo Afficianado]

I don't plan on doing that. I do realize it's a dumb idea and did when I thought of it actually haha.

But yeah I don't think she has anything against me personally.... it's just that shes that way to the world (aka anyone below red belt).

In sparring, I go very light on everyone, I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, It's just that I have a couple of really powerful kicks, and overall good punches. But if I did ever have to spar her and knew she was going hardcore, I'd still think about unleasing a powerful side kick or front snap... those are my 2 strongest right now.

all the best,

Tom

[Roxor]

You take a MA class to have a good time, get in shape etc. Not get scowled at for touching a wall. Thats not against the law. A lot of people here need to focus more on having a good time with your hobby, instead of trying to be serious all the time. Most of us don't live in Chinese buddhist temples.

i think having fun with your hobby is alright, as long as you stay focused so noone is hurt, once someone got hit 2x in weapons class and quite (both in same week, 1 time with hardwood bo on accident, 2nd with bamboo bo on accident both on head)

[ShadowFox]

Ok I just talk about this in another thread some I copying and pasting my story :

I'm in the same stitch what happen is their a guy who came from another Tae kwan Do and was a red belt at it but then he come to my school and kuk sool won and tae kwan do is 2 completely differnt things and from what my friends tell me him is that he mad at the school because they didnt acknowledge him as a red belt. So he act really sloopy on forms and when practicing throws he act to rough with people (which is worrying me when we start to spar that he may hurt someone or if I get team up with [which I usually do] that I may fight out of anger [which i dont want to do]) And it really annoying one of my friend because he act like a know it all around him. But what really cheese me off is that the inscrutors take that type of bull from him because he act that way infront of them too and also I dont see how he pass test because of how much he miss class and how sloppy he act on test.

Yea so what I do is try to avoid him and not get into arguement with him....