Searching for a CQB system :-(

[jaymac]

You know, maybe your girlfriend doesn't like your sensei because she is jealous of the time and effort that you spend at the dojo. That really is her problem. But maybe if you are really concerned about her safety, my suggestion would be to ask your sensei if he is offering any trial memberships. Ask your girlfriend to come down with a friend of her own to try some classes. Maybe she would enjoy it if she had someone to go with who would be on the same level as her (I didn't see what rank you were in your style). That way she could have a partner to train with who would also have the same level of experience as her. Once someone tries a few classes in a good school, it is hard for them not to love it.

Learning from DVD's only is not a good idea. I believe one should have an instructor to also learn the application of the technique.

[Smitty]

Sounds like your girlfriend doesent like a lot of things. Why exactly doesn't she like your sensai, your style, your friends there?

She doesn't like my Sensei because she came to the dojo one night when we were fighting, and he tried to help out. She told me "He needs to butt out and mind his own business." As for my friends, it's mistrust towards her because of our less than perfect relationship in the past, and I guess she doesn't take kindly to that, even though they've never met, save for one of them.

Does she have any martial arts experience at all. If she was or is involved in another style, we tend to think OUR style is the best.

No, she doesn't. I just figured I'd feel out how well she could take care of herself, as her town isn't the best place in the world (full of crackheads and thieves...and I'm not exaggerating). She couldn't fight at all, which prompted my search.

As for your comment on play fighting, I thought of the bad technique, and I do my best to use good technique, and I treat it just like kumite.

I've been training in martial arts for a while and have dated a few different people, usually who also train (with me or elsewhere). I must admit that some schools have attitudes that I didn't like, and that could be annoying.

If your training is a big part of your life, an so is your girlfrieind, you'll probably have to change your school, change your girlfriend, or get the two to mesh somehow.

As far as her training goes- women's self-defense classes can be super awesome, but if you really want to enjoy your "play fighting," why not let her try out another school? She may really like it, and you have someone to have fun with at home, you can have "your time" with your MA friends while she has "her time" with hers, plus you will have to worry about her less as she becomes more proficient. You could always discuss ethics and philosophy with her at home.

Oh, and speaking as a smaller person (I'm a girl), I think Judo is a good way to learn to move without using reach or strength.

I know students from most of the other schools in town. There's a Tang Soo do school, and I've participated before with them, and there is 0 personal attention, and no philosophy. The tae kwon do school in town isa mcdojo. The Judo/ jujutsu school is only for the local college students, and there's a group of practicing aikidoka, but they don't teach, just practice for themselves.

Which brings me back to my original problem.

[glockmeister]

well if you have no other options, then the DVD's may be your best choice then. They are well done and relatively easy to follow. Since you have MA experience, it may be helpful in working and drilling the various techniques presented there. It's better than nothing untill a certified instructor becomes available in your area.

[bokendowanderer]

I dont recommend learning any martial art from books or videos unless you have no choice and have plenty of expeience already. If there well done they can be helpful.

I did a google for "martial arts, huntingdon, pa" and had at least 12 hits. Try it, you should be able to find a school and instructor worth the trouble.

One thing I do to get the best out of training. When I walk into the dojo/dojang, wether its out in a field or an air conditioned building I leave lifes problems outside. If the girlfriend takes your mind off of what your doing in the dojo/dojang, don't bring her.

[Smitty]

I dont recommend learning any martial art from books or videos unless you have no choice and have plenty of expeience already. If there well done they can be helpful.

I wouldn't call it plenty (3 years or so). But I'm pretty confident I know what I'm doing. I'm not a dan like some of the guys here, and I don't do multiple styles like alot of guys either, but I'm sure I can figure it out for myself. And if I can't figure something out, I have enough people around with enough experience to figure it out.

I did a google for "martial arts, huntingdon, pa" and had at least 12 hits. Try it, you should be able to find a school and instructor worth the trouble.

Around here? I've met most of them, and I refuse to send her to one of the korean arts (no, I'm not biased, I'm not impressed with the schools), and the other arts aren't available.

One thing I do to get the best out of training. When I walk into the dojo/dojang, wether its out in a field or an air conditioned building I leave lifes problems outside. If the girlfriend takes your mind off of what your doing in the dojo/dojang, don't bring her.

Which is also out of the question, sadly. I wish I could, because she's always receptive and remembers when I teach her an escape or hold, and can do it fairly well with little practice (I still have trouble figuring out how she absorbs things faster than I do.) I wouldn't know where to begin breaking Goju down, or what to teach. Most of what I've taught her was impromptu, such as counters to hair grabs). Which is why I'm seeking someone with knowledge of Defendo, because Haganah seems solid (I'll take your word for it, glockmeister) and I also investigated Krav Maga, which seems solid.

Someone's gotta know something about Defendo.

[bokendowanderer]

Too bad she doesn't like your goju instructor. I've had a little experience with it. Its realy solid. A great art. Stay with it.

Sorry I can't help you with Defendo/Haganah. I'm not familiar.

[TaeKwonDo Afficianado]

Few things....

You can continue to teach her.... why not?

Especially if you just teach her the basics, the most important things that probably make up 95% of the moves you would use in a "real" fight if it came to that.

Just teach her simple stances, a few strikes and blocks, a kick or two, and basic personal defense. By basic personal defense I mean a few ways to get out of wristlocks, throat grabs, and shirt grabs.

If you know them well go this route, especially at first, and maybe she can join something later after you investigate more. Plus, if she dislikes you going to the dojo and stuff maybe that will help you spend time with her if that is part of the problem.

Also about the Judo class, are you sure it is for students only? Sometimes it seems like that at first, but in reality it may be open to other community members.... If you are not totally sure I would call up the sensei or someone and ask.

All the best,

Tom

[Meguro]

Or, you could get your gf a big dog or how about getting her to move out of her crack-head infested neighborhood. If your gf doesn't like violent confrontations, and play-fighting, or your friends in the dojo, those are her choices and who she is. If her choices are too big an obstacle for you, maybe your problem isn't finding a suitable cqb system. Even if your gf took a few self-defense courses, do you think you'll feel more relaxed even though she's still surrounded by potentially violent bad guys?

My point is, hand-to hand is the very last resort. Expecting your gf to be proficient in it, when she obviously lacks the interest or motivation, is a recipe for disaster. It would be better for her and for your peace of mind to practice what all seasoned martial artists know, not being there is the best defense.

[Aodhan]

Contact Jules: sensei_jules at hotmail dot com.

He's got a pretty nice CQB developed.

Aodhan

[glockmeister]

She doesn't like my Sensei because she came to the dojo one night when we were fighting, and he tried to help out. She told me "He needs to butt out and mind his own business."

I

If you don't mind me saying so, i think that shows a poor attitude to take when someone is just trying to help you. Perhaps she needs to work more on her attitude before CQC training. Someone who doesnt like someone more experienced than them trying to offer advise is someone who will probably have a hard time truly being open to learning up to their potential.

No offense intended.