Smitty Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Ok, here's my situation. I have a girlfriend. She doesn't like that I practice Goju... at all. We play fight all the time and her skills are... limited, and I worry about her. I tried to get her to come to my dojo, but she doesn't exactly like my Sensei, nor any of my friends there. I'd love to teach her something, but I don't feel my Sensei would like me teaching her Goju, but she said she's open to learning. I refuse to send her to the other school in town, they don't teach ethics, and there's no personal attention. Anyway, I was reading through an old issue of Blackbelt and saw an add for the F.I.G.H.T. Hagana (spelling is off), and then later, for Defendo CQBs C.O.R.E system. This got me to thinking that maybe I could buy one of those, and perhaps teach her that instead.It's not exactly my favored choice, but it's the only path I see. Are those kind of programs any good? And if so, can someone recommend me one of the better ones? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UseoForce Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I haven't practiced either, but I have researched both Haganah and Defendo. Both, IMO, are good. Problem is to purchases DVDs is going to cost you an arm and a leg. If it works, use it!If not, throw it out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UseoForce Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 oh, I think glockmeister practices Haganah, ask him. If it works, use it!If not, throw it out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmorOfGod Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Ok, here's my situation. I have a girlfriend. She doesn't like that I practice Goju... at all. Buy her some pepper spray and maybe send her to a one time women's self defense class, but leave her out of your martial arts group.It is actually good in a relationship to have things or pastimes that are "just yours" and "just hers."Also, you said that she does not like you taking Goju "at all." If she ever insists that you stop taking it, break up with her. Women (or men) who insist that you stop doing something you like for their own selfish reasons are not worth staying with.Just my opinion.....AoG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glockmeister Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 HaganaH is a great style for self defense. There is also a program they have called S.A.F.E. (an acronym for self defense and fast escape) which is designed mostly for women but can be used by either men or women. The DVD series is good and very easy to follow and well done, but I am not a huge fan of learnign just from DVD or VHS. They are designed to aid training but not to replace it. If it's the only thing available to you, then go for it. But I would suggest finding a good, qualified instructor as well. I can't speak for Defendo since I have never studied it. Seems liek people who travel across the country and do seminars. I don't know of any actual Defendo schools although maybe someone here does. "You know the best thing about pain? It let's you know you're not dead yet!"http://geshmacheyid.forumotion.com/f14-self-defense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glockmeister Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Ok, here's my situation. I have a girlfriend. She doesn't like that I practice Goju... at all. We play fight all the time and her skills are... limited, and I worry about her. I tried to get her to come to my dojo, but she doesn't exactly like my Sensei, nor any of my friends there.Sounds like your girlfriend doesent like a lot of things. Why exactly doesn't she like your sensai, your style, your friends there?Also, I forgot to add in my last post, you may wanna have her check out Judo as well. They have some devastating sweeps and throws that make it easy for a much smaller person to take out a much larger person. and also has some good chokes and submissions in case she would find herself on the ground..Just a thought. "You know the best thing about pain? It let's you know you're not dead yet!"http://geshmacheyid.forumotion.com/f14-self-defense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nurvingiel Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Ok, here's my situation. I have a girlfriend. She doesn't like that I practice Goju... at all. Buy her some pepper spray and maybe send her to a one time women's self defense class, but leave her out of your martial arts group.Personally, I don't think the pepper spray is a good idea, but in my experience women's self-defence classes are loads of fun and you learn many useful techniques (with a good sensei of course).Why doesn't she like Goju? Personally I don't think it matters if you guys train different styles anyway. Kata is like a good stir-fry: preparation and timing are everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokendowanderer Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Does she have any martial arts experience at all. If she was or is involved in another style, we tend to think OUR style is the best.Your instructor, no matter what style, should be guiding you away from "play fighting". Martial arts are for real. If you are training make it real. If no t, leave the play alone. Play fighting brings out improper technique and use of it.On the like or dislike of others, like your freinds and sensei, personally when I don't like someone, the first thing I need to do is look at ME. If I have a problem with others because they don't want to act , do, or be the way I want them to be, they are not the problem. I am. Most other folks are good and want to do the right thing. Otherwise their just bad people. If so, I don't need to be around them. If your friends are bad people, change your friends.Take a good look at the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dont call me Sir Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Buy her some pepper spray.... The trouble with any sort of weapon is the users ability to deploy it under adrenal stress conditions. In other words, if the Pepper Spray isn't in her hand and ready to be used at the time of being attacked, then it's worthless.And besides, have you ever seen a woman look for her car keys in her hand bag. They take 10 minutes to find them and they are always buried under the make up, lippy, cell phone, cigerettes, etc!! The same can, and will, be said about deploying Pepper Spray!! DCMS. "There's nothing wrong with my defence, you attacked me wrong!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marie curie Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 I've been training in martial arts for a while and have dated a few different people, usually who also train (with me or elsewhere). I must admit that some schools have attitudes that I didn't like, and that could be annoying. If your training is a big part of your life, an so is your girlfrieind, you'll probably have to change your school, change your girlfriend, or get the two to mesh somehow. As far as her training goes- women's self-defense classes can be super awesome, but if you really want to enjoy your "play fighting," why not let her try out another school? She may really like it, and you have someone to have fun with at home, you can have "your time" with your MA friends while she has "her time" with hers, plus you will have to worry about her less as she becomes more proficient. You could always discuss ethics and philosophy with her at home. Oh, and speaking as a smaller person (I'm a girl), I think Judo is a good way to learn to move without using reach or strength. You suck-train harder.......................Don't block with your faceA good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. -Lao Tzu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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