Why fight?

[Dont call me Sir]

Here's something worth thinking about........

Why fight?

In a street fight there are no rules; that’s been said a million times before and we all know that to be true. With that in mind, chances can’t be taken in a physical confrontation, there must only be one winner, you! The winning mindset is vitally important. Also, we must always assume two things; that the aggressor is armed and not alone. If a situation can’t be de-escalated using verbal de-escalation and dis-suasion skills, and you are sure the aggressor is intent on causing you harm, then the aggressor must be dealt with quickly and effectively – your life is on the line, right?

But what about ‘challenge’ matches, ‘square goes’, etc, where your life is not on the line and where you are fighting over a girl or a ‘rep’?

These types of fights require a different mindset to that of a ‘real’ street fight, after all, you don’t want to accidentally kill the guy, just because he’s now dating your girlfriend, right? You’ve got to be able to inflict enough damage to the other guy for him to submit, so we’re now talking about un-written rules, right? And then, when you’ve won the fight, you walk away with your ‘rep’ in tact, right?

Personally I find this particular mindset to be crazy. I mean, what is the point, really? What will winning, or losing, that type of fight really achieve?

There are only two reasons why anyone would want to fight when they could easily walk away from the situation; Ego and Peer Pressure.

Surely, if you have your ego in check and you don’t care what people think about you, then why fight? Who cares what other people think anyway? Why is having a ‘rep’ so important, is it a male ‘thing’?

Should we, as Martial Artists who are learning our trade, making that ‘journey’, serving our apprentiship, etc, employ our fighting skills in fights that are only Ego driven or done so through Peer Pressure?

Shouldn’t we be passive and only use our MA skills when our lives are on the line, and then, and only then, use techniques that will maim, or even kill, as a bid to save our own lives?

I’ve been involved with 100’s of fights and yet I’ve walked away from many, many more, simply because they weren’t worth it. I can honestly say, I would not entertain a fight that was Ego of Peer Pressure driven, never have done, can you say the same?

Take it easy, DCMS.

[traz]

so there were 100's of times when your life was in danger and you had to fight?

[Dont call me Sir]

so there were 100's of times when your life was in danger and you had to fight?

I was involved with 100's of fights as I was a Door Supervisor (Bouncer) for a number of years. Not all of the fights were life threatening, though I have had quite a few very near misses.

DCMS.

[Zaine]

All good and valid points. But what you have to understand is that we as humans have those things. It is a crutch. We have to work on holding it intact. And people who are fighting for there "rep" dont want to be humiliated. And so they fight so that they are not looked down upon. To some people being important is more important to them than there health. But I see the points that your trying to make. And I can agree with them. But we as people will always have ego and that we cant get rid of, we can control it so that it doesnt show its ugly face as much, but we can never wipe it out.

[PrideampPoise]

I agree, its not realistic to expect to wipe out every negative urge.

But it is very realistic for any individual to control those urges. The key is personal responsibility. The reason some fight unnecessarily is not that they have an ego, or whatever. Everybody has that and not everybody find it necessary to fight over it.

No, the reason some fight unnecessarily is because they choose not to control their ego, or whatever inner urge they have that is encouraging them to fight.

So in a way, I agree with you. Its not realistic to expect that everyone will make the right choices. There's just too many people out there for that to happen. But, for any given individual, the choice is their's. Until they realize and accept that, they will continue to make the wrong choices and blame others, or simply say its uncontrollable.

[claflintsd]

At the risk of "preaching", if you don't want to fight, don't go where fights often occur.

Once of my instructors, who frequented bars in his younger days, realized that whenever he wore a karate shirt or jacket, he ended up in a fight. He quit wearing karate apparrel in those places.

Just like we avoid dark alleys late at night, etc., it would be wise to avoid places where bouncers are "overworked" and underpaid.

Just a thought....

[Texman]

Agree with the sentiments here on control.

Especially as martial artists, we are in control. That is what we learn when we're training when you break it all down. To say that we will always have an ego is OK (although there are many examples where the ego has been suppressed - go talk to the Daiai Lama) but no one has an excuse for giving it control of their body, especially when the consequences are that the body may well be returned in a worse condition.

Walk away and wish them luck. Those who will only give you respect for punching someone aren't worthy of you and those that do you wrong will end up losing everything anyway.

[Jeet Kune Do]

This is very interesting, I will just say that I have my pride, and my pride can't be destroyed nor will I let it, I have a rep but I don't show it off I just be myself and use martial arts only when I need it.

If someone was calling me names then I WOULD say something back, if someone hit me I WILL hit them back, BUT if someone threatened my life, I would use my MA and I would just fight until the opponent gives up, I don't show off my rep because it WILL lead to some fight eventually.

[Squall]

nice to see someone else with their head on straight, however, if you are in an enviroment, where you are constantly being mocked, you must stick up for yourself, and must be prepared to defend yourself. You can be attacked without even sticking up for yourself, so, it's not a completely avoidable problem. But fighting over nothing, probably one of the stupidest things a man can do.

[Aodhan]

This is very interesting, I will just say that I have my pride, and my pride can't be destroyed nor will I let it, I have a rep but I don't show it off I just be myself and use martial arts only when I need it.

If someone was calling me names then I WOULD say something back, if someone hit me I WILL hit them back, BUT if someone threatened my life, I would use my MA and I would just fight until the opponent gives up, I don't show off my rep because it WILL lead to some fight eventually.

The two statements don't exactly correlate. You use MA only when you need it, then you state that you do things that would cause you to need it.

Someone calls me a name? Great, good on them. I walk away. Someone hits me? Depending on the situation, great, good on them. I walk away.

I know my abilities, and I am confident enough in myself that I can do this. What do I care that some person I will probably never meet again thinks about me? So what if he thinks he can kick my butt, or that I'm a wimp. I know I'm not. My friends, family and inner circle know I'm not.

All a fight can do is cause trouble, and I would only fight if I had to. Before I got in martial arts, I probably average a fight every few months (Especially during hockey season!), and after I started taking martial arts, I have yet to be in an actual fight (Although there have been a couple standoffs).

If you are supremely confident in yourself and what you do, then you can shrug off all the small stuff.

Besides, the look on people's face when they hit you and you just look at them is priceless. They go from agression to that slow realization of "Uh oh." Best I ever had, was I bumped into a slightly inebriated guy on the dance floor. He hauled off and slugged me in the chest (Much less than I get in sparring). I looked down at my chest, back at him and said "Don't do that." He got this slow look of horror on his face, then stumbled off the dance floor. I laughed.

Aodhan