Need advice please

[mortious]

Anyway theres this guy who keeps picking on me.. We are about the same strength but he is a lot better at fighting than me.. And i cant get out of a fight with him cus even if i do tell a teacher he just keeps coming on to me. What can i do to defend myself?? i have the strength but i just suck at doing moves.

[White Warlock]

Lots of questions here:

has he ever escalated on you, try to bring you to fight him?

do you know why he picks on you?

how do you know he is better than you?

what does he study, if anything at all?

what do you study, if anything?

How long has he been studying, in comparison to you?

where are you when he picks on you?

what was the schools' or teachers' responses to him picking on you?

Have you discussed this issue with your parents?

have you discussed this issue with your ma instructor?

have you considered offering him to spar you at your school?

when he picks on you, does he do it alone or is he with friends?

when he picks on you, are you alone, or are you with friends... or a particular girl?

have you considered befriending him?

Is he participating in any school sports?

Are you participating in any school sports?

Do you two attend the same class(es)?

How long has this been going on?

What causes you to fear him?

Is there any way you can simply avoid meeting up with him?

after answering all these questions, are you any closer to knowing why he picks on you?

btw, i recall some of your earlier questions, and i was given the impression you are caught up in 'looking' like you can perform the martial arts, rather than just 'doing it.' You also indicated a high degree of dependence on strength, which means you haven't grasped the basics of how to do such things... therefore you shouldn't try such in a real confrontation.

I.e., figure out what it is you 'know' how to do, and stick with that for now. Don't get fancy or try to do what you haven't yet had opportunity to learn or understand, or you'll simply get yourself in trouble. You cannot possibly apply techniques when you have no idea how to implement them correctly. All you'll do is expose yourself to injury, for every wrong action leaves an opening that your opposition can exploit. Focus instead on doing what you know, and doing so repeatedly. If you know only one hit, do that hit 300 times as quickly, powerfully, and efficiently as possible. It is not about diversity of arsenal, but overwhelming force.

Anyway, if you can answer some of those questions, maybe you and us will have better insight into this situation you're dealing with.

[shogeri]

He is either trying to satisfy or fulfill a person need/want/desire, or one that is socially driven.

If he does things outside the presence of others, then it is more personal to him.

Physical confrontration is a last resort, but it seems to always be first on the list of things to do.

If you can get him away from other's talk it out, focusing on Him. Being sincere when seeking the truth behind his actions.

If all that he wants is a physical demonstration, then forwarn the school staff that he keeps insisting on such, and that you are trying to avoid such, and that you would appreciate any type of backup.

Cause if they fail you, then you may have to stand up for yourself. Fight to win, and bring out (or reach in and find) the animal instinct of survival within you.

Good Luck ~ as I have been where you are at.

[Mary Roses]

Are you absoulutly sure you can't get out of the fight? I know this may sound kind of whimpy but have you asked him to leave you alone? I still think you should tell a teacher even though you think it might not work, or better yet the principle. Or you could use basic blocks to block the attacks, and you could aim for his weak points! Are you a good runner? You could just out run him too. Sorry if I'm making this into a joke, but I truly believe you can get out of this by just telling someone, you don't have to fight if you don't wan't to. ^_^

~Mary Roses

[shogeri]

Mary reinforces my main idea, and that is to confront the situation head on.

However, the cold reality of life is; we cannot always avoid fighting back.

Violence is sometimes subtle in our lives, and sometimes it's right their in our face, waiting for a response.

I lived with it every moment while in the pubhlc school system. It is real. And it must be faced, not necessarily turned away from.

Violence is a result of something missing. It must be replaced with something positive.

It must just be tolerated or accepted.

Wanting to fight is one thing.

If the young man is a bully, well that's another.

If he wants to fight, you have options.

If he is a bully, well some people say not to fight. I say, ask them if what they would tell their own children, is in some way or the other either physical or not, stand up for yourself.

You cannot stand and block all day. Cause if they give in due to boredom or being tired, that doesn't insure that they will not return. Many times they pick up the pace, and if you are not good enough, this could backfire.

Technically nothing I, or anyone else says, will guarantee something to happen in given manner in your situation. You must gather up all the facts, understand them, and address the situation with a clear conscious, and a big heart.

But the odds are that if you simply give the appearance of being able to take control of the fight, then those odds shift to you favor.

No one has the right make you change what you do. To make you have to appear to be afraid. To make you the lesser person to either yourself, or in the eyes of others.

You maintain control of yourself. Never give control of your life to others.

The human experience, that is all the things we experience throughout a lifetime, along with what they mean to us, are fragile.

It's your human spirit that must be preserved during these times.

Remain true to yourself.

If you must fight, then only do that which will stop you from being hit, while reinforcing to the other person, that you can either take care of yourself, and or that you will stand up for yourself.

I was either beaten physically or emotionally in school up through the age of 18, because I did what Mary said to do. Many times, much less. I was very passive, even though I knew instinctively what it took to survive.

In my case the system failed me. My family were of no help. And in the end, in some ways, I failed myself. I took the easy way out, many times.

Time spent growing up, like all things, passes. This will be something that you will tell your grandchildren about. Look to the future, and live in the present.

Think big. Not small.

These thoughts are what being passive, taking a beating, or trying to avoid life, thus taking the road less traveled got me.

I share them today in hopes that others have a little more insight.

Good luck!

[DKizzle]

I agree with all that's been said to some extent. Running is good if necessary, but it will not solve your problem. White Warlock makes a good point about sticking to what you know.

And I find myself in a (somewhat) similar position. There is a kid at my school who was at one point physically and verbally harassing my girlfriend. I waited for him outside his homeroom and calmly told him that I wanted him to stop, or there would be consequences. He stopped for a week or so, and then resumed the harassment. I then waited for him again, and told him (much less nicely) that I was going to beat the crap out of him if I ever heard that he laid a hand on her again. Then he starts sizing me up whenever he sees me, and I think he's going to try and do something. Main difference is this kid is small and wimpy and not at all initimidating to me.

[shogeri]

I ran away, alot. And hid alot. Avoided much.

Only later, I still had to address what I was running away from and why.

Do what you do know how to do.

That is all you should expect from yourself.

I am sure that most of us here would prefer that you walk away from this a better person than you already are.

Be proud of yourself, for there is much to be proud of.

Take care!

[Mary Roses]

Just kidding! I know running is not the answer and it might make the problem worse. Hmm, well martious, I wonder have you've done anything bad to this particular person? And have you've been arguing back to his comments? If so you should just ignore him he might go away, but of coarse if he lays a hand on you then it's ok to fight back. ^_^ Sorry for the lame advice I've never had to deal with these kinds of things, and yet I go to a public school. ^^; But you know if you are standing up for yourself in a good way then continue what your doing but just leave the fighting out, although what one of the previous posts said fighting is something that can't always be avoided. But you can avoid making the problem worse.

~Mary Roses

[Adonis]

talk to him, he won't listen. Talk to teacher, if he tries to get you to fight him, walk away, if he attacks you.........well... do your best.

Good luck!

Remember "May the force be with you"

[Takezo]

tell him to leave u alone or u gonna youll hurt him. if he dosent leave you alone then . . . hurt him.