Losing Control

[coralreefer_1]

First a little background. As my profile will tell you, im a 27(28 on the 15th) year old American student enrolled at a college in Korea as a Taekwondo major. I was scheduled to test last april for 2nd Dan, but I came to Korea instead. I was going to go home this month to America for a visit and testing, but I had to postpone my trip until next April. I was never in any hurry to test. actually several professors here want to test me here in Korea, and by Korean standards for testing, because i already know Keum Gan poomse, I could skip 2nd Dan and go straight to 3rd, but im not interested in that. I prefer to wait until i can test with my master in America. But Korean students are all to happy to smile and tell me they are 3rd dan, and I just smile to myself and bow to them a little and tell them my taekwondo is bad..haha. But they always seem to find it funny that an American is a taekwondo student, as if american people are to fat/lazy/stupid or whatever to be good at taekwondo. As it is my major, i take as many Taekwondo(as well any all the other martial arts my schedule will allow) classas as I can. This college has a Taekwondo department, the a "Security(Bodyguards" department, which have their very own taekwondo professor and classes just for them, and a "Police" department, and those students have their very own Taekwondo professor and clases for them as well. On Thursdays, I take two, 2 hour taekwondo classes with the police students, followed by two, 2 hour Hapkido classes with those police students.

A few weeks ago, during the Police Dept. Taekwondo class.. the teacher had some hogus, and was calling some people up to spar. So the last girl he called..no-one would get up and spar with her. She tried to get 3 or 4 guys from the crowd to spar with her, but no-one would, so i got up and decided to spar with her, after she had already practically begged the others. Anyway, the teacher decided to have me spar one of the guys, who is kind of like the "captain" of this class. He's kind of a silly guy, but they all seemed to look up to him.

Anyway..while we were sparring, he was acting very strange. ..ike a bird. I wasnt kicking him all that hard, but I was kicking at full speed, and tapping him, but not "full full" contract, but a decent tap. Well basically he never scored and I made him look bad. A few times, he came in with like some thing that looked like a jumping front kick, and I wouldnt move, just turn my chest, and he would miss and fall on the floor..literally.

Well ever since then, some of the guys in that class have kind of been "gunning' for me. We haven't worn the hogus in that class since that day, but have done no-contact sparring many times, and a few of them have come at me a little too seriously. Usualy when I do no contact sparring, i spar like i do when i spar little kids, not even really throwing kicks, just kind of going half way. And when they kick at me..i raise my arms and give them the target.

Well this past Thursday, we did the same thing. We were doing no-contact sparring. And this one guy decided he was going to kick me. Maybe its wrong that I lift my arms and give them a target, but its just play..right? Well this guy went and kicked me pretty hard. it was roundhouse kick to the stomach, and it really didnt hurt me, but was WAY to hard for "no-contact" sparring. Well I can speak Korean a little, so I asked him "Why???..and I made an "X" with my arms and said "NO TOUCH". Well his response was to laugh at me~!

So then I basically kind of snapped. We went back to sparring, and I threw kicks full speed this time, and popped him in the mouth with a roundhouse. I didnt hit him that hard, actually i didnt really mean to hit him at all... but when you take a shot to the teeth, it doesnt take alot to hurt. Basically it was a culmination of the general disrespect and bad attitudes those particular students have given me, since the day their captain sparred with me. But the difference between that day and all the others, was on that particular day, we were all wearing safety gear.

Now before we start filling up space with how dumb, immature, disrespectful, and immoral, against the 5 tenents of taekwondo, and I dont deserve a black belt, my actions were.. realize that I already know this. I know I shouldn't have acted like that. I'm old enough to know better. I apologized several times to him, and felt bad about it the rest of the day, and still today I feel bad about it.

But i'm curious to know how many others out there have had a similar experience, either being the one who lost control, or on the recieving end of someone who lost it? In a sport like this, I dont think its very hard for our egos to get in the way of our better judgement from time to time. I've seen egos take over even in this discussion forum, so I know it has hapenned to many people at some time or another.

So who else here has lost control and hurt(or tried to hurt) someone else in sparring?

Todd

[sk0t]

You know...

Living in a world that requires people to turn a blind eye to things, that expecting that people be the mature person, or the stand-up type of gentlemen...I would say that you were wrong. But knowing what I know about people, and knowing how nice guys always finish last...I commend you.

Of course there will be some on this board that will tell you that you should have called the instructor over and let him know, or you should have just taken it with a grain of salt and let it slide, or you should have refused to spar...but hindsight is always 20/20.

You are 27 years old, far over the age of answering to anyone but yourself. You made a decision and whether or not you agree with it after the fact, that is what you did. I would have done the same.

If your TKD is better than someone elses, that is not a fault, and you shouldnt take it as one...jealousy and envy rule our world, and it makes people better themselves, or take advantage of situations that they can be clever enough to take.

Personally, I would have done the same thing... I wont let myself have people gunning for me, without doing a little gunning of my own. I am 23 years old and a Kukkiwon 4th Dan (I started as a POOM for all you guys who think you cant get 4th until 25)...

You did what you had to do, dont question it...just know that you did it, and move on...

[jdhunts]

I have a little saying I tell my students when we spar, simply put fight as hard as you are willing to be fought. When we are on the floor, if someone gets a little excited and starts contacting too hard, he may get hit hard. We don't take this to the extreme or anything, but as a general rule it keeps most everyone in check. It's easy to hit someone very hard when they are not hitting back, but it's also humbling to get hit back equally hard.

So, you were taking some contact, and you dished it back out. As long as your attitude was in the right place, shouldn't be a problem. It's when we let our anger get control and we are no longer thinking the real problems arise.

Good luck in your studies abroad, and it probably wouldn't be a bad thing to test while you are there, it may place rank in a new perspective for you.

Jeff

[Aodhan]

I've done it. As a fairly new 1st dan, I was sparring at an extracurricular type get together at our dojangh on a sunday. My opponenet kicked me in the crotch, we stopped, he apologized. About a minute later, he did it again, no apology. Another minute, another kick, no apology.

In our style, we don't use hands to the face, and I got pissed, and when we resumed sparring, I popped him in the mouth (Not too hard) and walked off the floor.

Aodhan

[karatekid1975]

Ok, I'll admit it. I did it a few times. Two times was to "deflate" egos. The first one was a girl 14 years old. She thought she was the ... you know what. Mind you, she was good (At this point I never sparred her). So everyone was telling how good she is (and had the ego to show for it). The next sparring class, we sparred. I was actually ready to "trade some shots" knowing that she was "good." She came at me hard, so I retreated, and came back at her with a combo of my own. I got her in the side of the head with a front leg roundhouse. It wasn't hard, but she complained that I kicked her in the face (which I had not). Then we resumed sparring. To prevent her from "rushing" me again, I threw out a push front kick and she walked right into it and fell. She complained that I wasn't being fair. But I did everything within the rules and light contact. She hated sparring after that for a while, cause I beat her. Now she is one of my buds in class. I give her advice on sparring and she has gotten better. And she doesn't have an ego anymore

[Balrog]

What goes around, comes around. You were sparring according to the rules. They chose to ignore the rules and you gave them fair warning. When they persisted, it was quite correct of you to match their intensity level, because at that point, they were obviously out to hurt you and you needed to defend yourself.

I've had it happen to me a couple of times. You deal with it and move on.

[IcemanSK]

You seem to have appologized sufficiently for it, & thought of how you could have done it differently next time. You know there will be a next time. Maybe not there, but somewhere. Its happened to most of us on one end or the other of that situation. I've seen it with "Masters" at tournaments wanting to fight each other in the parking lot (Like Ren & Stimpy) over a "cheap shot" or "bad call" one student got over another.

You seem like the type of person that this incident has caused you to reflect. That's a good thing.

About the opportunity to test for 3rd Dan there or 2nd here.....I see you point about wanting to test for your master. But, the opportunity you have in Korea is quite unique. I wouldn't blame you for testing here in the States (It's completely your call). But I'm guessing if you talk w/ your master here in the States, he'd appreciate the opportunity you have there.

You're a good man & thoughtful. You'll make a great master, someday.

[Aodhan]

About the opportunity to test for 3rd Dan there or 2nd here.....I see you point about wanting to test for your master. But, the opportunity you have in Korea is quite unique. I wouldn't blame you for testing here in the States (It's completely your call). But I'm guessing if you talk w/ your master here in the States, he'd appreciate the opportunity you have there.

Just a thought.

Is there any way that your Master stateside could come to Korea for the testing? That way you would be testing in Korea (Which is really cool in and of itself), and you would still be testing in front of your "regular" Master.

Aodhan

[aefibird]

Firstly, I think that you have nothing to be ashamed of. You knew that you lost control but you have apologised for it. You know that next time you will behave differently, so don't go worrying about it.

Secondly, I think that you should take your next Dan test in Korea. I think that you have a great opportunity there and that you shoudln't pass it up. I can fully understand why you want to test in front of your Master... but., c'mon, this is korea! Not that many TKDers get to study TKD at college in Korea or have an opportunity to test there.

Maybe you could see if your Master from the US could go over to Korea to be there for your testing?

[IloveTKD]

Thats interesting!