Sophomore Honors English

[kurome]

Hello,

I'm a 15 year old currently enrolled as a sophomore in highschool. I decided last year to this year take English II Honors and as part of the summer work we were required to take part in a local writing contest, and I figured I'd take a stab at the poetry section. I was wondering if any of the more artfully inclined members could give this a quick read and your opinions.

The Perpetual River

by Matthew Sullivan

The great oak says to the mighty river:

"Alas friend, I am sick of this sleep,

Of this stead and of my life.

Hundreds of years I have lived

And yet I have never moved.

I am doomed to remain here,

Rooted by roots in the very soil that is my lifeblood."

"Friend, I too yearn for rest,"

Said the yawning river

Its legs stretching over a ledge,

"Always I run, never to sleep, never to rest,

When am I to be as you,

Stead and tall?"

"My dear river, you insult, you jest,

I wish I was as you,

Ever flowing, smooth and graceful,

I wish to see the world and yet I cannot,

For I am rooted to this ground,

A slave to the soil," said the tree.

"But friend, why,

Why would you want such a thing?

Trust me, it is far better to rest,

To sleep the sleep of a great oak."

One day a lumberman sees the great oak.

"Father oak," he says,

"Tonight you shall warm my house."

And the lumberman, the strong man that he is,

Cuts down the ancient oak, who lived longer than he.

He cut the oak and it fell to the river,

Was carried down in the current to the lumberman's house.

"Dear river-friend, I can move,

I see my brother-pines and feel your current under me,

Is this not freedom? Is this not your life?

Why be stead as I was when you can flow?"

"Because dear tree-friend,

I am the only semblance perpetuity in this finite world.

Soon you will end, you will burn

And feed this lumberman's flame.

I will run on, I will flow through the world,

Never to stop. Never to rest."

And so the lumberman cut the tree,

Fed his flame and cooked a meal for his children.

The tree was still burning,

Still ecstatic with movement, with freedom.

Then the lumberman took a pail,

A pail made from the very same tree that fed the fire,

And he filled it with the river and ended the flame.

The river gave his desired end to his friend the oak,

Still to flow on.

Still to become steam and vapor

Rise to the clouds and fall to the earth,

Once again a river.

----

It's a poem which kind of describes my feelings towards my parents. Their entire lives are spent working, always at their jobs, always working overtime, and even when they're at home they work themselves dry and sometimes I just wish they would settle down and rest.

Thanks.

[kurome]

28 views and no replies? C'mon guys!

[June1]

Wow. That was beautiful. I really enjoy poems with that kind of dialogue, and even more so when natural things like trees or animals talk about serious matters. I think you've done a great job with it, and that you should continue writing in this style! Very nice!

[gheinisch]

Yes, very good. Continue with what you're doing. You have a talent for it. Not many people can write as well you have shown.