Being hard on yourself... good or bad?

[Soo Min]

I am an extreme perfectionist...Which always served me really well...I was improving drastically but in my mind's eye, all I saw was failure. I'm literally a martial arts anexoric. I can win first place or pass a test with flying colors or land a flying kick perfectly and still feel like I didn't do as well as I could have.

But then one day my attitude totally backfired and I went pyscho with the stress of it. I couldn't take it and started being scared to try new things-performing in front of people, for example, or doing a new technique in front of a class-because I was so afraid I would fail.

So my teacher and a lot of my friends I trained me worked with me really hard. The idea is to get me to start looking at everything as a learning experience. Okay, so if you forget a few forms, shrug your shoulders, grit your teeth, and say, "I'll remember them next time." Recently I screwed up a demonstration (well...at least according to me) and when I explained later that I wasn't focused, my teacher just said, "Okay, make sure you're focused next time." Oh well. You learn through mistakes, right?

I always learn a technique or where to hit with one better when I'm the one getting hit with it. I remember the pain so I always remember that technique really well. Maybe it's the same idea?

Anyway, being hard is good, but getting yourself down over "failures" is bad. Relax and you perform better...Much better.

[Samurai Shotokan]

Yeah im the same way..even though im a green belt and all i get frustrarated that i cant get Heian Godan down but when the Sensei or Shihan come around i rarely get corrected even though he/she corrects everyone but me..but that could be because i practised in front of a mirror consantly or maybe im doing better than i think i am

[mean fighter]

welll I.M.O bieng hard on yourself can be a good and bad thing like sometimes bieng hard on yourself can push you to be better in your art. But you should never be so hard onyourself to the point like you cant do anything right or drop iut of your art.

[karatekid1975]

Wow! I just re-read this whole thread because you "pumped it up." It's a good thing though, because I'm much different now than I was when I posted this thread (amazing what a couple of months can do LOL).

I am retesting next week, but I have it in my mind that I'm going to go in there and have fun. I'm not going to be "intense and stressed out" like I was the first time. I also have a tourny coming up (this weekend). My attitude will be just to go and have fun. If I don't win, who cares.

What I'm trying to say is that I want training to be fun again. Like that feeling you get when your are a white belt/beginner. When you were so excited to do whatever and you were happy with it. I got that feeling in Jujitsu when I put on that white belt again. I want that feeling in TKD again.

[shogeri]

Take note of why something failed, fix it, while dwelling on what makes you successful, and then refine it, and repeat it.