Being hard on yourself... good or bad?

[karatekid1975]

Hi all.

This is a good topic I stole from another forum (again hehehehehe). Well, the original guy that posted it was over-training, ect. But I have a slightly different question than he did.

Anyways, my question is, is it good or bad to be hard on yourself about technique in general? For example, I am never happy with my technique. Some say that I am better than some of the BB's (I'm only a 2nd gup/kyu). But, in my eyes, that's not good enough.

Another example is that I failed my last test. I forgot a few forms, and I only did 2 out of 5 breaks (and I felt my technique wasn't all that great with the rest, except for sparring). My instructor said I can re-do stuff a few days later, or re-test. I opt'ed to retest. I felt that I should retake the whole test, not just parts of it. He agreed.

Opinions?

[orion82698]

Well, you have offered me a lot of help so far, I hope I can return the favor

Personally, I strive for perfection. I wouldn't expect anything less from myself. I to get down on myself for "taking a shortcut" or not getting a great workout, or training session in.

My take on your situation is, if you didn't do well in your form or for your test, you didn't pratice hard enough. I can say that I'm happy for you, for the reason that your school didn't let you slide. I'm sure you know the saying, you get what you put into it. It's hard for me to let go of what is going on in my life, and focus, but that's what makes this so much fun, and a challenge, because you have to let them go. It's the greatest. My only regret, is that I didn't start this sooner!

Good luck KK1975. You'll get it next time. Just really push yourself

[ninjette]

Honestly I agree with you not passing your test because you forgot things, but it is extremely unhealthy to be too hard on yourself. Trust me I know because I am never satisfied with what I do. I almost quit because I dont think Im any good but luckily decided that this was my life. I get frusterated and dont have a good time when Im trying so hard to get things perfect. But noones perfect.

My instructor pulled me aside and asked why I was so upset and I told him I was frusterated that I couldnt get things right. He told me that when you achieve your black belt everything changes, you have to step up the training because it isnt as easy as the other levels. He told me I was doing a great job and that I just needed to put more energy into everything, but not to get frusterated. As we say in our style, when you achieve your black belt you realise that you have only just begun your training.

Dont be too hard on yourself, Im sure you are doing a great job, you just need to focus alittle more.

[scad]

always be hard one your self to some degree, self critisism is good, that way you strive to become better, who do you do martial arts for, your parents, girlfriend, friends, no you do it for yourself, and you are the only one who can make you better, some will show you the path, but its up to you how for you walk down it, and thats why its good to be hard on yourself to some extent

[Why_Worry]

YOu have to jsut work and not really remember your goal. Work when you want or feel like it. If all your focused on is becoming better, you wont ever become much better. When one eye is focused on yoru goal you only have one eye left to find the way. Its strange how that quote is so confusing ot understand but after a logn enough time it really hits you what it means. Just recently like a week or two ago did that quote really hit me and i somewhat understood it. Of course youw ant to strive to be your best, but that doesnt mean you have to be hard on yoruself. If you look at how far you have to go then you wont be looking at what your doing in the present. Besides life isnt only karate. I mean even masters like gichin funakoshi or agena or choki motobu had some fun too. Karate is supposed to help your life, not consume it.

[JusticeZero]

Yes, always try to focus on what can be improved. However, do not be angry about it. Your performance is your performance. Relax and let it happen. Then review it and say "Okay, I need to work on X and Y." But don't get emotional about it.

[Pacificshore]

Nothing wrong with goal setting so long as they are not unrealistic. I tend to believe that being too hard on yourself is actually detrimental to your progression in whatever art you are studying.

[ninjanurse]

Being hard on yourself is not bad, but dwelling on your failures is.

[Odysseus]

If you're not hard on yourself, then you might not push yourself to get better, and there is ALWAYS room for improvement.

Just watch the line, and don't be TOO hard on yourself. Nobody is perfect. Nobody. And nobody ever will be. Strive to be the best YOU can possibly be (independent of anybody else), and if you do that, you will have succeeded.

Also, when being hard on yourself, do it in a positive, and not a negative, manner. Getting angry that you screwed up is not positive. Realizing you screwed up, and pushing yourself to correct the problem is.

[karatekid1975]

Thanks all. You all had really good advice Sometimes I do find myself getting frustrated. Not as much as I used to, but there's times I do get upset for messing something up. Or I get frustrated because I can't learn a tech right away. But most of the time, I find myself just working on stuff till I improve. I usually work on one piece of a form or a tech till I think I've made a little improvement. Then I'll work on it again a few days later. Now if I mess up, I kind of "giggle" then move on (I do that in class now LOL).