Needing advice from other Instructors.

[younwhagrl]

I have two stories/concerns to tell you about, that I want an instructor's opinion on, I got my instructor's opinion on what he would do in the first situation, but I would like more opinion, in other ways of dealing with such.

First situation. In class last night we had a girl that got hurt in soccer practice, she fell a couple of times on the soccer ball or something, well, she got through kicks pretty well, and I could tell she was in pain, well she started crying, and I knew she wasn't faking it, well my instructor told her to go sit down, because she was hurt..well her mom came in and told the girl to go get back in class because if you don't, we are never coming back here. The girl was in pain, but yet her mom told her to get back in class by threatning her. Well my instructor told her to take it easy and make it through one more form, well she did than he had all the white belts sit down, and let the higher ranks do there forms. By telling all the white belts to sit down there was nothing the mom could do about it. What would you do in a situation like this?

Second thing. In my class we have this guy that claims he knows all about fighting and the only reason he takes our class is because he wants to get better at fighting, and he always brags about it, and we think the only reason he is doing martial arts is to beat up people. Our whole class talks about how they want to spar all the time, so they can get in a fight. Tonight in class we were showing him a technique and he said well why can't we do it this way? or this way? and he says he never likes what we do in class...such as forms, i understand forms aren't for everyone..but still. BTW he has never trained before in a martial art, he watches wrestling. Again what would you do?

Thanks for any input! It is all appreciated. Even if you tell me that it's nothing to worry about.

[tkdBill]

You have got to take control of your classes! MA classes are not a democracy, and we do not need parents and/or students telling us how to teach class.

They are paying you because you are the expert, and know when and how to teach people. Your responsibility to the injured student is to keep her safe while training her. If she further injures herself while training with you, you might even have liability issues. If mom wants to help make training decisions, try handing her a gi and let her start working on her own BB and instructor certification so that in 5 or 6 years she can help. Until then, she must trust you.

Remember, there are some students you just don't want, and often it's because of their parents.

In the second case, you need to set the tone and do not let a student be a bad influence on the rest of your students. He is disrespecting you. Take control and be firm. Pull him aside and tell him how to act in you class. You are not making suggestions, you are telling him how it will be if he wants to train with you. Again, there are some students that you just don't want. If he can't straighten out, get rid of him.

--

[AndrewGreen]

1 - There is always something that you can find for someone that can't train to do. Have her help out a couple younger students, have her try some refereeing, switch to doing something that she can do. I don't like the have everyone sit down idea as it means a bunch of people that should be training aren't.

2 - Get him to do some sparring, go hard, as few rules as possible. Pick him apart and humble him. Then tell him if he wants to learn he shuts up and does what he's told like everyone else or goes somewhere else. Don't let him keep running his mouth or it will spread. As long as he thinks he knows better he'll be a problem, if you want to solve the problem you got to break that thought of his, which means not leaving him any outs. (ex. "If I where allowed to do this...." or "Had it been full contact....")

If that's not the way your club spars point him to a local boxing gym, Muay Thai Guym, BJJ school, wrestling club, MMA school, etc. they will sort that out for him.

[KempoTiger]

I have two stories/concerns to tell you about, that I want an instructor's opinion on, I got my instructor's opinion on what he would do in the first situation, but I would like more opinion, in other ways of dealing with such.

First situation. In class last night we had a girl that got hurt in soccer practice, she fell a couple of times on the soccer ball or something, well, she got through kicks pretty well, and I could tell she was in pain, well she started crying, and I knew she wasn't faking it, well my instructor told her to go sit down, because she was hurt..well her mom came in and told the girl to go get back in class because if you don't, we are never coming back here. The girl was in pain, but yet her mom told her to get back in class by threatning her. Well my instructor told her to take it easy and make it through one more form, well she did than he had all the white belts sit down, and let the higher ranks do there forms. By telling all the white belts to sit down there was nothing the mom could do about it. What would you do in a situation like this?

Your Sensei handled that perfectly. The only thing I would add is that he should have spoken to the mother about interrupting class, and to not spoil her daughters possible passion for martial arts by putting her through further pain and embarassment.

Second thing. In my class we have this guy that claims he knows all about fighting and the only reason he takes our class is because he wants to get better at fighting, and he always brags about it, and we think the only reason he is doing martial arts is to beat up people. Our whole class talks about how they want to spar all the time, so they can get in a fight. Tonight in class we were showing him a technique and he said well why can't we do it this way? or this way? and he says he never likes what we do in class...such as forms, i understand forms aren't for everyone..but still. BTW he has never trained before in a martial art, he watches wrestling. Again what would you do?

I had a guy like that once. He started off very respectful, but finally got to the point he was mocking other students in class. So I told the class to get on sparring gear.

When it came his turn instead of fighting another student, I stepped into the square, and promptly beat the life out of him. After class, without naming names I went into a speech about why we train, and what we're learning. I also went into a bit about how if anyone was here just to learn to hurt other people, then "there's the door."

He came up to me after class and told me how he was amazed at how fast and how "good" I was....but then I never saw him again. I suppose he found the door.

[Shorinryu Sensei]

1st situation, your instructor showed much wisdom and acted correctly.

2nd situation, if that was my student, I'd warn him once...maybe twice...and if he continued, bounce his rear out of class.

[younwhagrl]

Thanks guys!! I really appreciate the input! Well the guy I was telling you about, quit due to his grades were getting low. Then his best friend is in class, and the guy that was running his mouth again went on about sparring, and saying I am coming back when you guys spar..and the guy that helps me teach was like yeah...u can come back but you are watching, you can't participate in sparring if you haven't been in class, because it's not all about fighting in this class. The guy was like well I just wanna spar him once, talking about his friend. Thanks again!

[JusticeZero]

First case, your sensei did good. There might have been something to work on that he could have given that she could do without worrying, too, but he might not have been able to think of that at the time. I agree though, that mother needed to be talked to, but later, not in class, when she wouldn't feel like she would lose face by agreeing.

[SenseiMike]

Well, for option one there isn't much you can do. I don't really teach kids, the youngest I have is 13, and his Mom is pretty much absent from his life. I'd just suggest keeping the dojo closed during class. Did she sign a contract? if she did then she's stuck paying you anyway and chances are she'll leave the girl in.

For option 2.....I run a fighting school, so my take on this is different. I would explain the theory to the student, show him the bunkai, let him work the bunka, and if he still talked bad, let him spar a bit against someone much better who is also a much better student. Soime times people need to get their butt kicked inorder to understand.

[Shorinryu Sensei]

I'd just suggest keeping the dojo closed during class.

I am absolutely 100% AGAINST doing that. There are to many perverts and child molesters around. I know two sensei in Montana that molested a boy in class, and unfortunately encouraging a closed dojo makes for a per fect opportunity for people such as those.

A closed dojo sends up major warning flags to me as to why they don't allow spectators. I encourage parents and family to come watch my classes. I expect them to sit quietly during class, but welcome comments during breaks or after classes. As a parent, I would not enter my child in a class that I was not allowed to watch, nor would I recommend a parent taking their child to one.

[AndrewGreen]

What he said.

Even if nothing happens, and you are sure nothing will happen, all you need is one disgruntled nut to start saying it did. Given the state of things most people won't stick around to find out you're innocent.