Brining Fiancee into Dojo

[isshinryuwarrior]

My Fiancee has expressed a genuine intrest in coming to learn Isshinryu. Some Ups of the situation are I could have someone I can discuss what we are learning in class to after it's done. work on moves out side of class with a study buddy.

Cons I could become distracted looking at her. I isolate my self to working with one person and one person only. ect.

What are your views and what would youd do?

She came to a couple of classes to see what she thought, she says she really likes it. She also seemed to do pretty well and concentrated on what she was learning.

[White Warlock]

Consider it another challenge. If she is interested, it should be her choice to study, not yours. If you find yourself distracted... stop. Stop being distracted. You are there to study, not to court and not to protect.

I.e., focus.

[karatekid1975]

I agree. My fiancee and I take TKD together (we started in this dojang together). We don't get distracted at all. We leave our relationship at the door when we enter the dojang. We are students there, nothing more. I mean, people know we are a "couple" but we don't let it get in the way of our training.

[Jay]

do what karatekid and whiteworlock say it could improve your training alot as you have someone else to practice with when you are away from class

[satans_samurai]

My Fiancee has expressed a genuine intrest in coming to learn Isshinryu

nowt wrong wit that its good having someone to relate and talk abut your training with aslong as u dontget to disttracted i suppose

[Rateh]

ill also point out that it is entirely her decision whether or not to continue training. I.E. No pressure on ur part to stick with it...

[Aodhan]

Consider it another challenge. If she is interested, it should be her choice to study, not yours. If you find yourself distracted... stop. Stop being distracted. You are there to study, not to court and not to protect.

I.e., focus.

Yep. I'm in a slightly unique situation, in that I am an assistant instructor (Soon to be fully certified! Woohoo!), and she is now a yellow belt. I've had her in a couple classes, and I treat her like any other student. I've had to correct her form on a few occasions, and as long as I don't single her out more than anyone else, it's good.

The big thing to avoid will be always pairing up with her in partner drills, or smiling goofily at her when you are. Once you get past that, training together is easy. (At least, until you yell at her and have her do pushups for screwing up/around...that was an interesting evening later. )

Aodhan

[White Warlock]

The big thing to avoid will be always pairing up with her in partner drills, or smiling goofily at her when you are. Once you get past that, training together is easy. (At least, until you yell at her and have her do pushups for screwing up/around...that was an interesting evening later. )

ooo yeah, i'm sure sleeping in the doghouse was reeaaall interesting.

[karatekid1975]

LOL. I was once my boyfriend's senior ... hehehehe. I let him have it a few times Actually, I was picky about his technique (still am, I still have training years on him LOL). But he always asks me for advice, so we really don't have problem with rank (he my senior now).

[Eric_]

There should be no problem with that at all. My instructor's wife, for example, is a green belt in our system, and when she is in his school i never even hear her call him by his first name.

But the problem of training exclusively w/ your girlfriend is really no different than it would be if it was just a good buddy. I have that very problem, in fact. When a particular friend is in class (incidentally a female, but we aren't dating) we are almost always partners for drills, which I really need to fix. I once dated a fellow martial arts student, though, and because the thought of distraction was conciously on my mind, I never had that problem with her. On the plus side, it's great to have someone that you talk to often outside the dojo to get your butt in gear by saying "We're testing on Tuesday. Be ready. Practice!"