The Art of Not Fighting

[scottnshelly]

This post was originally published as an article in a dedicated KarateForums.com Articles section, which is no longer online. After the section was closed, this article was most to the most appropriate forum in our community.

Frank worked all summer mowing lawns to save up money. One of the things he spent his hard earned money on was a new basketball. It was a top of the line basketball that was the envy of all of the kids in the neighborhood. Frank usually went over to Jared's house to meet the others to play basketball. Ever since he bought this ball, this was the one all the boys used. This made him proud.

It was a typical Friday evening. The boys decided at school that they would meet at Jared's to play basketball again, as they had every free day they had. After an after-school snack, he put on his basketball shoes, grabbed his ball and headed down the street, bouncing his ball along the way. He was concentrating on his footwork, but was not too busy to notice Chris skateboarding in the middle of the road two blocks up. Chris was two grades ahead of Frank; he was the neighborhood bully. Chris had made a few remarks to Frank about his new basketball recently and made a rude gesture toward him at school earlier that day. He knew that Chris was going to give him a hard time, as he always does.

He made a left at the corner; his plan was to avoid Chris by going around the block that Chris was skating on. He went down two blocks but he had to cut back across that street to get to Jared's. He looked back when he heard the bully skating toward him. Chris was headed toward him and fast. Frank picked up his ball and cut across a yard.

Frank was doing everything he could to prevent Chris from catching up to him, but it was inevitable. Chris jumped the curb and ran up to Frank and hastily demanded Frank to relinquish his ball.

Frank tried a number of methods to dissuade Chris from his malicious plans. First, he tried to ignore the bully. This only angered him; he started reaching for the basketball, trying to steal it away. Frank then turned to humor; he told Chris a joke and tried to befriend him if only temporarily. He tried to reason with the tormentor; he explained how he mowed lawns all summer to earn that ball and if he would do the same he could buy his own ball. He tried distraction; he pointed out that there was a flattened basketball a few blocks back, he could patch that ball and not have to worry about taking someone else's hard earned ball. After trying everything he could to dissuade this bully, Chris finally knocked the ball loose from Frank's hands.

It was at this very moment that Frank lost control of the situation and now Chris had it. Frank had done well to maintain control up to this point, now he needed to regain control so he could be on his way. Chris was taller, stronger and faster than Frank. It seemed as though Frank would never see his precious basketball again. He wasn't going to give up that easily though. His first reaction was to try to grab the ball away, but Chris held the ball to his chest. Then Chris held the ball high above his head, Frank could not reach it so he reached down and grabbed a stick. He tried to swat the ball from Chris' hands, but his grip was too strong. He then tried to bargain with the tyrant by snatching his skateboard. Now Frank was in control of Chris' skateboard, but that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted his basketball back. As a last resort he kneed Chris in the groin, causing him to drop the ball. He finally had control of his ball again.

He was also in control of Chris, for he was lying on the ground writhing in pain. Frank had a decision to make, but it wasn't a difficult one for him. A lot of kids his age would've taken the opportunity to beat up this tyrant. He had the opportunity for revenge. All the times that he was shoved, kicked and made fun of by this kid suddenly flashed through Frank's mind. Frank calmly and decisively picked up his basketball and went about his way. He knew that no one would benefit from a fist fight, he was sorry that he had to resort to violence to get his ball back. Frank arrived at Jared's house and immediately started shooting hoops. Neither Frank nor Chris ever spoke a word of this incident.

[Patrick]

Thank you for the submission.

[bushido_man96]

That is great. Just the right amount of force was used, and no one was seriously injured. As far as I can tell, Frank did what he felt was right. And he tried so hard to avoid confrontation. Good for him.

[Ace2021]

Sounds like Frank has the mentality of a martial artist.

[scottnshelly]

This is a short, fictional story that I wrote to illustrate my five steps of a confrontation: avoid, prevent, dissuade, control and end.

Frank first avoids confrontation by taking an alternative route. He then tries to prevent a confrontation by speeding past. After that didn’t work, he tried several methods of dissuasion. Once the confrontation was initiated, he gained control. As soon as he got control, he ended it.

[bushido_man96]

This is a short, fictional story that I wrote to illustrate my five steps of a confrontation: avoid, prevent, dissuade, control and end.

Frank first avoids confrontation by taking an alternative route. He then tries to prevent a confrontation by speeding past. After that didn’t work, he tried several methods of dissuasion. Once the confrontation was initiated, he gained control. As soon as he got control, he ended it.

Ah, very sneaky. I thought it was a true story! But very well written, and very practical.