mcdojo.....joke

[Maciej]

Not shure if this has been posted before (if it has I hope I added some new ones)

 

grabbed this from another site......pretty funny, lets add on Signs that you are in a McDojo/McDojang - Joke

 

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1) You ask the instructor about Wing Chun, and he tells you he has only watched The West Wing

 

2) You ask him if he knows Choy Lee Fut, and he tells you that he doesn't know anyone in Chinatown that answers by that name

 

3) You ask him if you can learn Drunken, and he tells you he doesn't care if you train while drunk or sober

 

4) He teaches Tae Kwon Do based on Billy Blanks "Tae-Bo" video tapes

 

5) How fast you attain a black belt depends on how fast he gets his new Porsche

 

6) The length of your contract is proportional to the duration he needs to save up to see his kids through college

 

7) He has a photocopied autograph of Steven Seegal on the wall.

 

The only thing that gets bruised after the lesson is your wallet

 

9) He teaches you everything about being a Street Fighter. 2 years later, you are a great Street Fighter. You know how to use Ryu, Ken, Guile, Dhalsim, Chun Li ............

 

10) You need to buy different sets of uniform for Summer, Winter, Spring and Autumn.

 

11) you ask your sifu if you need to bring protection for class, and he replies, "depends on which team you bat for."

 

12) sifu's idea of a lion dance? drunken trips to the zoo and busting moves in front of the cat cages before security hauls him away.

 

13) the only heavy bag in the building is the enormous homeless woman that is trying to get squatter's rights with your sifu.

 

14)They tell you it's kung fu, but the instructor's certificate is signed by the international kempo association.

 

15)No one is allowed to watch your classes, and you're forced to sign something that prevents you from teaching anyone the techniques (so no one can see how fake it is!)

 

16)They spend 5 minutes of your lesson telling you about the latest products they have to offer that will "help you along with your training".

 

17)You are female and are not allowed to wear a uniform, or anything for your first lesson or two...

 

18)You are female and your school begins a 'new' regimen of grappling....

 

19)You are male and your new school begins a 'new' regimen of grappling.....

 

20)Your Sifus name is Ralek!

 

21)If your instructor uses Tekken to demonstrate techniques.

 

22)If your instructor uses Final Fight to demonstrate multiple opponent techniques.

 

23)One of the pictures you pay your respect to is of the instructor's real estate agent.

 

24)Your instructor loses a challenge match and says he lost on purpose to show how humble he is, but that he really could have beaten the guy if he wanted to.

 

25)when you spar with your instructor, he always manages to get a hold of your wallet.

 

Star Wars Related:

 

1)Your instructor dresses like Obi One and constantly refers 'Using the force' whilst performing movements.

 

2)You have forms for a lightsaber.

 

3)Your linage chart contains Yoda

 

4)Apperently none of the students show the potencial of a mysterious man by the name of 'Luke'.

 

5)The head instructor is refered to as a Jedi

 

6)Your greatest enemy is appently a 'Sith'

 

 

 

[ This Message was edited by: Maciej on 2002-03-15 03:12 ]

[Angus]

It's Obi Wan Kenobi

[Prodigy-Child]

i sure like #18!! hahahahaha

[YODA]

"3)Your linage chart contains Yoda "

 

 

 

- Of course it does

 

 

[Joecooke007]

 

 

[tessone]

I found another one of these which is pretty amusing...

 

Top Ten Signs You're in a McDojo

 

10. Your instructor has a grandmaster's certificate...in crayon.

 

9. The senior assistant instructor is a 4 year-old black belt.

 

8. The sign in the front window says the school trains in more than 10 martial arts.

 

7. It's a Korean art. (tessone: Hey!)

 

6. Your instructor tries to sell you Amway products.

 

5. While examining the school's tournament trophies, you find three spelling bee trophies.

 

4. Reading the contract for the school is considered a kata (and a long one at that).

 

3. No one sweats.

 

2. While at a tournament, your opponent finds out who your teacher is and high-fives his teacher.

 

1. When paying for your belt tests, the instructor asks, "Would you like fries with that?"

 

 

[Phantasmatic]

HOLY CRAP, HOLY CRAP, I can't type falfing fof teh chria, asdflk;nasvpioarnwv....

 

 

 

Ahah, gained control of myself, w00t w00t!!

 

 

[ZeRo]

haha good stuff. :up:

 

 

[tessone]

HOLY CRAP, HOLY CRAP, I can't type falfing fof teh chria, asdflk;nasvpioarnwv....

 

I think there's probably some kind of prescription you can get for that.

 

 

[monkeygirl]

ROFL..... that's pretty good

 

especially like the crayon part.

 

don't appreciate #18

 

Here's another one:

 

You go to a "big" tournament that your school is running and get a grand champion WWF-style belt...much as the competition of 5-year-olds tried, they just couldn't keep up with you.