Problem with another martial artist (Updated)

[White Warlock]

ShotokanKid, i am truly sorry i didn't see this thread earlier. The advice you recieved from others of going to your father is not only good advice, it is truly your responsibility to do so.

I'm going to cover a few things here, and i hope nobody is offended by this... but i think it needs to be said.

A fourteen year old being regularly assaulted / threatened by an adult... is child abuse. It is a crime, and the actions he is committing are crimes. Not merely crimes, but felonies that are taken very seriously, especially in Southern California. If he does it to an adult, it is still a crime, but not as serious.

That said, this is not an issue you should be debating about ShotokanKid. Your silence is EXACTLY what he wants from you. Either he will continue with this behavior, or he will escalate. Escalation can go into very wrong areas. His aggression is one thing, but his continued behaviors seems to indicate he has a 'preference' for physical contact in an otherwise sexually intolerant environment (church). In such a case, it is indeed likely that he displays this interest in something that is not entirely intolerable, as can be noted by your pastor's lazy actions to resolve this issue.

I'll also add that your pastor should have told your parents, and should have gone further on this issue. He also should have checked back with you to see if the incidents were continuing, or if they were continuing with others that you witnessed. The fact that he didn't indicates to me that you need to seriously talk to your parents about the possibility of, after this issue is resolved, changing churches.

I'm serious here. A pastor that doesn't act 'firm' enough on an issue like this... is not a pastor to listen to sermons from.

If you truly do not want to talk to your dad, then talk directly to the police. I think, as many others have said here, your absolute best option is to go to your dad. There is absolutely no reason for this continued behavior, whatever the motives. Your lot in life is not to be someone's victim, but by staying silent, by not acting with extreme prejudice on this issue, you are allowing yourself to be a victim.

It's a choice, it's your choice, and you don't have to be a victim. It's also your responsibility, both as a human being and as a martial artist, to speak up and against such behaviors. Gain strength that most everyone in this community who has posted in this thread are giving you the same advice. It's the right thing to do.

One last thing. Your dad possibly getting angry or out of control on this issue is mostly a demonstration of how much he cares for you. Let him know you love him, and that you want him not to get in trouble while resolving this problem. But, also let him know how serious the problem is. Don't sugarcoat it and don't wait.

[Fairfax_Uechi]

ShotokanKid,

White Warlock said it better than I could. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, talk to your dad ASAP. FYI, if someone did this to my son, I'd have a long hard talk with them. I'd also talk to the pastor, and if I didn't like the responses, I'd be talking to the police or magistrate, and rest assured I'd get results.

In your case, I understand the fear (we've all been young at one time), but think of this as a martial arts test to test your character. Sometimes we have a responsibility to ourselves and others. In this case, you owe it to yourself and others to speak out.

Good luck and please let us know what happens.

[ShotokanKid]

My dad sent this link to the youth pastor. The guy is getting pulled from the youth ministries department.

Thanks all for your advice and support.

[Patrick]

Glad to hear it.

[aefibird]

I hope that's the end of the situation for you Shotokan Kid. Glad that something is being done about the guy.

[White Warlock]

*burp*

[P.A.L]

Good Job

[jnpnshr411]

that's great to hear

[Chris05]

I would advise you to defend yourself when he does these wrist locks on you. If the problem persist i advise you to tell your shotkan instructer about this manner.

[ShotokanKid]

I would advise you to defend yourself when he does these wrist locks on you. If the problem persist i advise you to tell your shotkan instructer about this manner.

Did you read my post above?