Dating in your dojo

[karatekid1975]

It all depends upon each individual, or in this case, each individual couple. If they can date without causing a distraction in class and can be mature and go to class as students, not a couple, then let them. Actually, I don't see the sensei as having the authority to tell you you cannot date someone, only your parents can, and only until a certain age. So, if the students are not capable of handling maturely in class, tell them they have to act like students together. If they are not able to do it after the sensei tells them to, then I say the sensei should make both of them take a leave of absence until they can act maturely in class.

I totally agree CapitalKarate. We have couples that train together at my dojang, but they were already married or whatever before they started training. There is another couple that met each other there, but one trains at a sister school. And there is a "student/instructor" couple there also. The senior instructor (not the master instructor) is dating a student. Well, she is an instructor herself now, but they also met there years ago.

But all of us keep it (our relationships) outside the dojang. We train as students. There as never been a "couple" problem there ever. I remember maybe once that I "snapped" at my boyfriend for something, but it wasn't on the training floor, and I caught myself, and waited till we left to continue our arguement LOL.

[XUechiGirlX]

I've liked guys in my school. They're just irresistable. Two of them inparticular. We never dated but pretty close. It was all good and ended okay because we kept it outside the dojo. My instructor married her instructor and they had a wonderful martial arts life together So i think it can be okay just needs to be seperate from training.

[kivikala]

From my perspective, the "dojo dating" thing is more often disaster waiting to happen for the school. People being human are petty, emotional, and non-rational when it come to matters of the heart. Romance if kept strictly outside the school is fine. But when personal issues creep onto the mat a line has to be drawn. Anything that distracts from training in the dojo is in my eyes, bad. Whether it be boy/girl-friend or husband/wife if it affects the school it has got to stop. That means one or both people must leave. Some people can separate or compartmentalize their life and this works fine. The people who have no control, no focus (or the wrong focus) don't belong. Over the years I've had several couples who worked wonderfully in the dojo. I considered them an asset to the school. I've also had a few that couldn't stop oggling each other. They were shown the door.