women training partners?

[darkness]

As a girl, it doesn't matter to me, male or female. However, one thing I like about sparring females is that they are less likely to hit me hard high up on the chest than men which is nice, because that hurts.

[wer]

Female viewpoint here (just mine, not a scientific survey):

I train in karate, aikido and Pancrase hybrid jujitsu and have done so pretty intensely for about 3 years. Most of the women I train with don't like contact -- my main karate dojo is geared towards tournaments (barely-contact sparring and flashy techniques with no takedowns) -- so even when we practice self-defense it's hard to get them to make a committed attack and that drives me crazy.

I started working the self-defense harder with one of the senseis and he was good, kept increasing speed but pulled his punches just before they'd hit me in case I missed. After a while, I was fast enough that I could block/evade every time, but wasn't sure whether it was because he was pulling the punches. And he just couldn't bring himself to really hit without pulling them, because he was afraid he'd crack my ribs (it's happened before, but not from a punch). So I got a tae kwon do vest and wore it, and that way he knew if I missed the block I'd get knocked back but not broken -- after that, we had a lot of fun and I got a lot better.

In a second karate dojo I go to where they train more realistically, except for one truly excellent black belt (4th dan), the other females are high schoolers who go through the moves nicely but don't really attack with conviction. I've been working to train my new male partners that I really want them to punch me and I'm not going to fall apart if they make contact. One of them got the point for sure, and I've got the shin bruises (and now shin pads) to prove it -- that was great!

We haven't had many women in our Aikido/Pancrase classes (same teacher for both, Jason DeLucia) and with one notable exception (4rd dan tae kwon do and tough as nails) the other women who've shown up in class are afraid to make contact, don't know how to make a committed attack, can't bring themselves to punch straight at someone and act weak (they might be, but I don't know because they're afraid to get in there). They do OK at the standing Aikido moves as long as there's no atemi (striking) involved, giving or receiving. But they are afraid of the groundwork we do, which is too bad because most women have no idea what to do if they get taken to the ground and that's a bad situation as far as self-defense is concerned. And they don't want to cut their nail short so they have these long talons; but at least since they won't get close they haven't raked anyone.

I love training with the guys. I'm pretty small (125-130 lbs) so there's only one guy within 15 lbs of me. The deal is, the big guys are supposed to use only technique instead of muscling when they work with me -- as we all know, if you've got two people at the same mass the one with better technique will win, so improving technique is good and the guys tend to muscle each other. I'm also really flexible, pretty quick, and pretty good at chokes (still need to work on my hand strength, though), so I can escape from positions the guys can't get out of and give them ways to practice they wouldn't get with the other big guys. And I generally work with the newbies, male or female. The women generally don't want to work with guys anyway and aren't as afraid of me (and I always go easy with them til we find out how they do). When new guys come to class, even if they're big if they don't know any techniques I can generally submit them in the groundwork and that's always fun and is a big surprise for them.

So: I like working with the guys and I think any of them would tell you they like working with me. And I'd be happy to work with women if we found some willing to give committed attacks and really make contact standing and on the ground -- there just aren't many of them around.

Edited July 8, 2005 by wer

[Sam]

teah fair enuf sensitivity and all that

[karatekid1975]

I just hate the guys who won't hit me cause I'm female. I know they go all out and can hold their own, but when it comes to sparring females, they back off. Why? If she can take a hit ( like me and a few others in my dojang), go for it. I can understand if she can't (I've been there) but the ones who can, go for it.

I honestly like sparring men. And some females, because they do hit hard (most men that is LOL). Call me crazy, but I like the contact hehehehehe

[Menjo]

I know the reason why i back off when fighing a girl is because well one if anything ever happens when your fighting a guy people just see it as an accident, but with females SOMETIMES it becomes a huge thing and also well.....i forgot my other point o well .

[Adonis]

Menjo made a good point. thanks karatekid1975, and Wer for your input.

I find that true when I have sparred females as well. I think alot of it has to do with society and a way person is braught up. Men usually are braught up to protect women and not hit them. I think its a physcological, subconcious reason why men back of when making contact with women.

as well in general society brings wome up to be more lady like, and that full contact stuff is a guys thing type attitude. so also a subconcious thing.

How many mothers stick there kids in ballet or dance or other activities as opposed to martial arts. Again I think alot has to do with society and its views and physcological aspects of that..

Wer: you trian with jason delucia? thats good. I heard his skills picked up alot on the ground.

I saw his record on sherdog site. 33win 19laws and 1 draw. He faught mostly pancrase. faought some tough figthers most notably bas ruttan.

thats good you got a trainer with alot of experience to offer his students.

[Menjo]

o my other point is sometimes it can be slightly awkward when practiceing a grappling move with the other gender.

[Atalanta071]

I do not normally have problem training with guys. The only one I have a problem with is my boyfriend, and I always lose my focus around him. We partner occasionally, but I'm running to Kieran for now so I can work on my control. I have practice close quarters with him, it was shameful how many times I cracked up (what can I say? In a few hours, we were going to go on a band trip and sit in the same seat!)

There are only about three women in the advanced class, so I am rather used to training with guys. I've trained with guys all my life, whether it be T-ball or cross country (I just realized today the brown belt in our dojo is probably related to one of the boys I ran CC with... Now THAT'S strange to me).

My problem is not being string enough, compared to being afraid to hurt people. I know they can take it, I have problems getting up the power.

[elbows_and_knees]

There are females in my grappling classes. I don't find it awkward at all, and neither do they. Awkwardness is a mental thing - your mind makes it so. If you merely perceive it as training, there is no awkwardness. Remember that the next time you work the triangle choke with a female partner...

[wer]

o my other point is sometimes it can be slightly awkward when practiceing a grappling move with the other gender.

That's why I always grapple in my nice thick aikido/judo gi. Tried it one hot day no gi and it was too yucky. Still, the guys don't try anything inappropriate, and any accidental contact is brief and ignored so it isn't embarrassing. But there's a lot of contact in class and that seems to weed out a lot of women.

A female judoka friend of mine (the karate 5th dan I mentioned earlier) told me recently she was grappliing elsewhere with a guy who accidentally got his hand inside her gi and didn't take it back fast enough -- so she whacked him a nice solid elbow to the head. There's a good lesson on keeping focus!

Yes, I train with Jason DeLucia and he's awesome -- not just the technique, but he's a really good teacher and can explain and demonstrate the moves really well to men and women. He learned the groundwork right after the first two UFCs and has been improving ever since, and we're psyched because he'll be fighting in England (CageRage 13) Sept 10.