Controlling my Anger

[Khan]

I have a lot of anger. For reasons that I cannot explain, I seem to have rage bursts, wherein I just explode in moments of anger. Its starting to interfere with my training, making me arrogant. I'm starting to second guess what the sensei is saying, not out loud, but in my mind.

I need a way to control my anger, because its starting to interfere with my life, school, family, friends etc.

BTW I'm 6th Kyu Shotokan Karate-ka

[viskous]

should be askin your sensei in my oppinion..................or just voice your second geussing and let him show you why you are wrong........all depends on how you learn best lol............in terms of anger in your life i dont know, just put more energy into your training use it as an outlet, and i dont mean by destroying someone in sparring

[Sam]

i think talking to your sensei is a good start, openly and honestly....

maybe try and think about what else is going on in your life that may be causing stress, etc.

[cathal]

If these bursts of rage are interfereing with other parts of yoru life, perhaps you should seek the counsel of a friend or family member. Some cities do have free confidential counselling as well.

[ManaZe]

I used to have a bad rage problem myself. I would just fly off the handle for the smallest sillyest reasons. It got to the point where the rage was so intense I couldn't calm my self down. I would punch walls and doors, I would smash things. It even came to where the only way to calm my self was to cut myself. Just the sight off blood was extreamly soothing.

Well all that is about 3 years behind me now. I rarly have these fits of rage anymore, and if I do I no longer have to resort to hurting my self.

What I would sudgest would be to take a honest look at your life and Try to identify the things that bring you stress and anger.

You wight also want to start practicing zazen meditation. I know that this did a great deal to help me.

Remember rage should never rule a martial artist. Look at it as you would any other probelm and find a solution that fits you. Maybe all you need is to find a good friend to talk to.

In any case I hope I have at least some help to you. Good luck.

[Rick]

I have a hideous rage problem, it's disgusting and profound. Many things anger me, just small things in society, people not caring about other people and stuff like that. I'm 22 now, and i've had it since i was a teenager. I just thought that it was one of those things that you get when you're a teenager, but it's stayed with me all this time.

To try and control this i sort of "let it go" so to speak. People always underestimate the power of breathing. They forget it during sparring, fighting, meditating, and they forget it in angry situations. If something annoys me, i close my eyes, keep a straight face - NOT AN ANGRY OR ANNOYED FACE because people will ask you "What's the matter?" and if you're anything like me that just sets me right off the rocker. With my eyes closed and my face straight, i take a huge breath in through my nose and let it out of my mouth. It works man, it REALLY works. When you take this breath you are sucking everything in, and when you blow it out you get try and push out that anger pain in your chest and let whatever angers you slip away. Try it!

Of course, i'm no master at this yet, and there are times when things get violent that i should keep a level head and deal with the situation. Instead, i go into what i call a RED RAGE. That's where i lose all control and i smash everything and everyone. I won't go into detail but i've been in trouble a couple of times.

Anyway, i hope this helped mate.

Rick.

[jarrettmeyer]

Many things anger me, just small things in society, people not caring about other people and stuff like that. I'm 22 now, and i've had it since i was a teenager. I just thought that it was one of those things that you get when you're a teenager, but it's stayed with me all this time.

It's good that you've found an outlet. You really have to watch this attitude. You get upset about society not caring, but you get anger? How is that productive? You must be a force for positive change. Rage, obviously, is not positive. Rage will accomplish nothing towards your goal of a better society.

Turn into

[ivette_green]

The end of my grade 11 year I felt so much anger towards my school and towards the town it was in. Sometimes you do just grow out of being angry. I just tried to make sure I didn't act on my anger.

No system is perfect and he's probably heard some of the questions you're going to ask. He's probably been asked the questions a lot more rudely than you'll pose them. Sometimes I do question some of the things my Sensei tells me and I do ask him about things. Actually, the next time I see him in class I have a few questions...

[Khan]

I know why I'm angry, but its the rage, its consuming me.

Take for instance this situation at school, (I'm in secondary school.)

There's a kid called James, quite big, could probably take me, but I think I'd give it a good go. He plays football [soccer] and as a result thinks he's extremely tough and can beat up anyone. He used to be quite good friends with me, but recently he's been saying rude and hurtful remarks about me. He's got a 'crew' called HNIC filled with other football players who follow him like sheep, to make fun of this me and a few other friends that don't like him made up a crew called FJC.

Now things are escalating, they've been making fun of us in front of the girls, saying it to people that would make sure it got back to us. James has been talking about having a fight with us, well, not us, mainly me.

I understand that it goes against martial arts code to fight against him, but he deserves a beating. Some of the things that he's said are beyond apology. I have a certain family situation thats been going on for 9 years, (its the cause of my anger,) and he has the cheek, the nerve, the arrogance to make fun of me because of this. I can feel my anger rise as I type this, and I want to punch him even more.

If I do end up fighting him, the cops would probably be called. I don't want that, but I know that if he keep saying stuff I'm going to hit him.

^That above story is an example of my anger controlling me. I know that if I fight this lad then I'll get in more trouble than him, but my anger is swaying me completely to this side. I can't control it.

[/i]

[jarrettmeyer]

High school (secondary school) sucks. I was a real geek. I was fat. I didn't do so well with the ladies. But I made it through. I got in two fights, that I'm really not proud of. In hindsight, they were stupid (but quite satisfying at the time). I didn't find my place until I went to university. Geeks, it turns out, do quite well at a place where intellect is favored over your sports abilities.

It sucks. It's understandable why so many terrible things happen in high schools. Unfortunately, the best advice I can give you is something you don't want to hear: It will get better. Depending on your age, that may take 1 to 6 years. You are in a position to take the high road on this one. Anger is easier. Fighting is easy. (Clarification: getting into a fight is easy.) Solving your conflict without fighting is the best route.

Now, if James does not let that happen, you must be prepared to meet force with equal force. Make sure that he is the instigator. I'm not saying let him throught the first punch. I don't like that opinion. I am saying that if it becomes inevitable that a punch will be thrown, let it be yours, and make it a good one.

If you are enraged, then you could do serious harm, to both James and yourself (i.e. assault on your permanent record).

Just be careful with this one. There are couselors out there who can help with situations like this. They will understand your locality and mentality far clearer than anyone on a martial arts forum.