Soft Student

[Menjo]

Ive seen situations like that before its his fault, if your in charge then your in charge

[ItalianMuayThai]

He shouldve showed you the respect you deserved, but he probaly doesnt consider you any higher then him because your his age, and his friend.

[Sam]

yeah the whole thing about "peers" in different situations.... i use to train with someone i worked with who was more senior at work, but my junior in the dojang..... it can be awkward in some ways, but most of the time if ur both mature its not difficult to deal with.

[Jane_Doe]

god when the head master wasnt there a 15 year old and black belt to my yelllow belt and me being 17 at the time wasnt a problem for me cuz we were friends outside training and in the same high school as each other

i helped him with his school work and he took the TKD classes twice a week showing me what to do watch my contact and so on and so forth i didnt run cuz i couldnt take it i respected him because master had that in stone in my head higher belts than you no matter the age have to be treated with the same respect as master is treated and thats of high respect.

sounds like your "friend" couldnt handle you being higher than him.

[Sam]

exaclty - some people can deal with it and see school and training as two different situations.... just like job / training or home / training..... some people cant and struggle to deal with different hierarchies.

[ShotokanKid]

I would've handled the situation in the same way. If he gets mad and storms off, then he probably wasn't meant to be in martial arts in the first place.

[Manabimasho1]

Sometimes when we are in the middle of a Drama serious or situation that makes us feel unhappy or sad we begin to turn inside and rethink our paths.

I would offer this advice.

Martial Arts is about Dedication, Commitment, Loyalty, Honour, Teamwork, Skill, Disapline, and Integrity.

Being a Teacher you are suppose to impart these virtues and traits to the students, One can only hope to teach, it is up for the student to listen.

From what you said You showed those qualities and your master is probably proud, who knows. Maybe he knew there would be issues and he was just testing your leadership qualities.

On a second note- How many of those Virtues and Traits do you beleive your Friend possess....Don't be hard on you. Being a Leader is rough, but keep the main guidelines in mind along with your students goals, When your students goals disrupt the main guidelines you need to take action.

I would have made him do Push ups and Jumping Jacks behind me during class. But im rough when it comes to disrespectfull students because in the past we were way to easy on them and they cause more trouble then thier weight often times.

[mantis]

i think u did the right thing

whether the school is mad at u for losing the kid or not that's a question u have to ask them.

the way you acted is what i like to see in a MA teacher, rather than taking it easy on students which will let them learn that they can do whatever they want and lose respect to MAs and the school

props to you

[ps1]

Assuming your story is true and you were polite in your requests, you did nothing wrong. Your instructor would inform you if you had.

Students like your friend pop up all the time. If he didn't come back after that, it's because he was looking for an excuse not to go. He was not commited before you corrected him. He would have left eventually anyway.

I see it has been a year since you posted this thread. I hope you read it still. There's still very much for you to learn. Tell us what you have learned (about teaching and the nature of students) since then. I am interrested.

[Goju 4 Life]

I have learned a lot about teaching. 2 years ago I helped my shihan with the summer camp. But, I was more of junior counselor/assistant instructor. This year I operated as a counselor, and was teaching classes by myself. Often times my instructor could not even be in the building while I had 30 students to myself. The only help I got was from his wife, as the other counselors were scheduled to arrive after the class was over. When I would teach I could not get the discpline I wanted. They would play, move, talk, not pay attention, anything besides what they were supposed to do. At this point I was convinced it was because about half of them had some kind of diagnosed issue (emotinal/mental). But, then shihan could do it, so why not me. I also thought it was because I did not have what it takes to command respect as I see other senseis do. I talked with my shihan, and watched other teachers. It was so bad that shihan had a 10 year old girl keep the class quite after I had failed. I started changing my demeanor. I would stand up taller, and make my face less gentle looking. Stop trying to be their friend, and start being a sensei. The most important thing I changed was my voice. The tone I took with them greatly affects their obediance. Teaching children is a lot harder than teaching adults! I know I have come a long way from the classes I taught as a brown belt 3 years ago to today.