dad's not in charge

[Aodhan]

Praise - correct - praise.

Ask him to demonstrate the technique, and then praise the way he is doing it, then show how the correct application produces a better result, then praise him again when he does it the correct way.

If he keeps at it, then take him aside and give him a polite but firm "Sir, I understand you want to help your son, but the best way to do that is to pay attention in class and get the proper technique first. When you're at home, coaching and working with him is the thing to do."

Aodhan

[Sam]

fair point emphhasive the difference between class + home

[Jiffy]

Some excellent suggestions here. There are some things to consider. First of all, the problem usually doesn't exist very long because after the first couple of gradings, they tend to develop at different rates and therefore will be learning new stuff.

If you are going to attach the scenario on the spot, make sure not to make a big deal out of it. Remember, to his son, he is the boss and by making a big deal out of it, you undermine him...... not just in the dojo.

If you need to say something a little more substancial, just pull him aside and explain the situation away from the boy.

[Sparkey]

I've gotten around that situation by putting on my best "dumb blonde" look and saying to the parent, "Oh, gosh, I'm sorry, would you like to teach class?" Not in a sarcastic way, but in a very sincere way, as if I would truly turn over the floor to them if they wanted.

It usually stops the sideline teachers, and the know it all youngsters. If all else fails, you might try pulling the dad aside after class and telling him the difficulties of the dichotomy of being a parent/student with his boy. Ask him politely to allow his son to be taught by you in Karate class.

It's hard to step out of the parenting shoes and into student shoes, but it's a good excersise both for the parent and the child.

[ShotokanKid]

My sensei would just say

"You're welcome to watch, but please remain quiet."

Of course, since he's your elder at church, it wouldn't do to be sarcastic or anything like that (I wouldn't even use the "you're welcome to watch" approach. I think the best thing to do is to use the suggestion made by Aodhan.

[Manabimasho1]

I am 27 and very skilled and I run into the issues mostly where people I have to teach who are older then me don't tend to listen. So I feel you, but if the Father is actualy giving bad advice, or counteradvice to what you are instructing on then you need to pull rank and show your in charge.

It has nothing to do with being mean, because the father is both stepping on your toes and slowing or upsetting his sons training. Remember to keep in mind They both are there to learn a skill that you arleady have some rank and experience in.

The best advice is always done by example of action.

[mantis]

change ur church!

jk

[y2_sub]

I know what you're talking about. I've been in karate for almost ten years. My father who has never taken one class trys to give me advice in tournaments. I tried to tell him it didn't help and he got really agitated. So, be careful how you deal with fathers.

Lol.. i know what ur talking about , i have a student who his father tries to give advice every tournament ............ and thats how he loses all the times

[trustkid1]

I used to do that too with my son in TKD. But the instructor will step and said "Mom I am handling this concentrated in what are you doing." (I am taking the class too.) It took a couple of times to understand that he is the teacher and he is in charge.

[unknownstyle]

ok a elder gives advice and helps with leadership, so he should understand what your problem is if you just explain it to him