How would you handle this one?

[ramymensa]

This is something indeed weird, but I believe you ... sometimes people are so self absorbed, they forget about the fact other people have the same situation and perhaps are not glad to see such outbursts.

And I agree with those who said here that parents should be kept out.

[sweetpea0525]

A meeting with offending parent might be in order, or maybe a general meeting with all parents explaining that they need to be quiet or leave. And if they do not want to do that, then they can take their child with them. It may be hard for smaller schools, but the instructor needs to be in control of the class, if the parents are watching the class and they are a distraction then it is not safe for class because the focus of the students should be the technique and instruction of the teacher.

However, the rules need to be set first, embarassing a parent in front of class is not the first option, but the last, because their child is in the class and you do not want to embarass the kid because of the parents actions.

[Rateh]

There was a slightly similar situation a few weeks ago during sparring.

One of our more advanced students was sparring one of our newest sparrers (he just got his orange belt, and that is the rank you must be to spar).

He was 12 but very short for his age, and she 8. The fighting was fairly hard, and the 8 year old girl was crying a bit, but thats not unusual for her, she often gets emotional during fights.

Well all of the sudden her dad jumped up and yelled angrily at her daughter "You hit him in the face!!!, Hit him in the face!!" and then to the rest of us "Thats the 4th time hes hit her in the face!!"

Imediately afterwards, the son's father yelled out "Thats not your decision, thats up to the Sensei!!"

They started going at it verbally, and the Sensei told them three or four times to hush before they stopped and sat down.

Then he stood still for a moment, everyone looking at him wondering what he was going to do, took a breath, and started the fight again while he thought of a proper responce.

When the fight ended, everyone waited expectantly and he addressed the issue.

He explained how face contact was not allowed, but that it was understood if it happend accidentally. But that if it happend repeatedly he would take action. Then he stated that for personal reasons, sometimes he did not call face contact. (Because she was a high rank, he wanted her to experiance it and see her keep trying regardless). This seemed to staisfy both sides, he didnt outright say "its my decision" because then that would be taking sides with the second parent, but he also made it clear that generally face contact was not allowed at the dojo.

I think its important to let the parents know that YOU are in charge. You are the instructor, you are the one who makes the calls, you are the one who coaches, and no one else. As parents, they need to respect your experiance and expertise.

I was told the other week something that made a lot of sence to me. "Would they [the parents] appreciate you comming to where they've worked for many years, and telling them how to do their job?"

The answer is of course no, and they need to have the respect towards you to be quiet and let you do the instructing.

[SaiFightsMS]

That is a really good example thanks for sharing that.