Unhappy parents

[ladyj]

Hey Pineapple, we just had this come up at our dojo. A parent was upset because their child started training at the same time another student did and the other student was being tested for black belt. They didn't understand why. We called the parents in and explained the process that students go through in order to acheive rank. They must first be taught the technique, practice it, and mature it. Then the outside elements come into play, are they consistent with training, how is their attitude with the instructor and other students, how much mental knowledge they have acquired and are they still trying to acquire. Then we tell them the areas they need to work on , set a review time, and see if they are prepared at that point. This has always worked for us, you have to remember that parents think they understand what is required however they are onlookers who only see the superficial things and need to be educated in order to understand. Good luck and remember it is our responsiblity to educate our students and their parents. As hard as it may be sometimes.

[kenpo_fighter]

i would personally see exactly what the student needs to work on in order to make rank. I would then talk to the parents, letting them know what the student needs to work on. i would also recommend to the parents that the student spend some extra time in the dojo with either myself or another assistant instructor and have the child demonstrate the techniques to the parent to get the parents involved with students training more. let the parents see where there dollars are going.

[Manabimasho1]

I have your easy answer!!!!!

You should have a time limit on when a student can or can not go out for thier belt ranking. Also have a set rule about during that time how many classes they are allowed to miss. Sit down and speak with the parents of upcoming testing students and let them know the dates, and achievements thier kid has.

Encourage the parents to understand that skill is something learned by both the time to do something and the love to listen. Also keep in mind NEVER EVER play favorites, if you pull one child up to the class to do a move, make sure you pull them all up one by one. Every Parent wants thier child to be the exception and best at everything and it's your job to make sure that thier child becomes 100% of what they could be.

[Sensei Rick]

ask the complaining parent what style they have their black belt in. Tell them to trust you, the black belt, what the rank should look like.

[ddavis]

Some parents want little "Johnny" to move up the Kyu ladder a long with all the other kids, and their is nothing wrong with that. They do not want to be faced with the fact that little "Johnny" might not be any good at MA. It takes hand eye coordination, memory and athletic abilities, which, he may not have at this time in his maturation.

Kids sometimes freeze up when they have a formal test, any test. To help in this, we have done away with formal testing, since they are subjective anyway. We have started to just ask students to do techniques "abc", during regular class. If they can great, if they cannot, then we tell them not to worry, we have all month to get them up to speed. If they need help with a Kata, then we give them all the help we can. In the end, it is up to the student to show what they know, and we mark it off the list of expectations for the next kyu.

I should make this clear, we do this for only kyu grades up to 4th. After that they will be taking a formal test.

Every parent/student is given a list of the requirements for the next kyu. I want everyone to know what is expected and we tell the parent and the student they can mark off the list what they have completed on their own list. I think this is fair, it keeps the parent up to date on where their child is in his/her MA readiness for the next kyu.

[JDZNate]

Alot of parents at my Dojo stay and watch their kids at pratice. We even get the parents involved, usually holding pads.

[Chuilli, Kyo Sah Nim]

everyone has to be in good attendance(missing no more than 3 days in a 3 month cycle, with a two day a week class attendance minimum) for obviously no less than three months. so typically we do not have this issue. i like our system.

in tang soo,

k.chuilli

[Chuilli, Kyo Sah Nim]

usually the easiest way of niping this in the bud is going...does your child practice at home???

and when there is a long pause...you just smile and go yea, he/shes not testing. good day.

haha always worked for me.

[ninjanurse]

I give my students 4 months to make 30 classes. At 2 per week that is easily do-able. They are allowed to make up classes misses for special events, etc. but must notify me beforehand that they will not be in attendance. Of course, 30 classes does not guarantee promotion and I try to keep the parents apprised of their child's triumphs and deficiencies at all times so their are no surprises. I talk about home practice all the time...especially at the end of class when most parents are waiting and with-in earshot. I also stress not comparing your child to the others in class...I evaluate based on the child's strengths and learning styles not their ability to "kick higher than Joe".

[bushido_man96]

Those are all good ideas, Heidi. Especially about coaxing kids to practice at home. I just make sure to tell them not to kick a lamp off a table, or something like that.