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Unhappy parents


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ya think u can help me wiht my problem, i am a student/leader in the school. I help teach class the the kids are very undisiplined, because my insrtuctor is undisiplined too! he doesn't do his job properly. He yells at people when they do something wrong and makes them feel really bad. he's such a jerk. In the kid's classes he almost ALWAYS plays a game in every class, though they don't deserve it at all. He doesn't nothing inthe gym. He also doesn't get involved with anything. Kids look up to this guy( a slacker, jerk, aggressive). How am i suppose to be a good instructor if all i'm learning from him?...he brushes people off because he's to lazy to put effort to achieve the student's/ school's goal. He does nothing but sit on the front dek looking at the class and taking a fart

---sorry about that i had to get out....any ideas on what i should do? Thanks :( :( :kaioken:

There could many reasons he is acting that way: Mid Life crisis, bored with himself, overworked, the home life isn't doing to well. But lets not jump to conclusions yet. Something in his life is carrying over into the dojo and he doesn't know that it is affecting the school? Maybe indirectly find what is going on, and address him as a concerned person and want to help him.

If he is truelly like you have discribed and you can't get through to him, maybe he is in the wrong business. Maybe he should run for some short of political office, if he comes off as just a power hungry idiot.

I am not there and haven't observed the situation. However it sounds like you are the good instructor with lesser rank. People respect you because you no matter your rank. You know that there is something wrong and it needs to be corrected. It is time to sit back and reflect to make your own choice for your future and the students future. No matter what anyone says you have to make the choice yourself and clear your own path. Do you give up? Do you go else where? Do you sit on your hand? Do you become the opposite instructor which gives the martial arts a good name and make a difference in the students lifes? Do you start your own school?

If you become your own style instructor:

Are you going to sit up a scaffolding system that nurtures the student’s progress and positive behavior? Are you going to create schemas in order to enforce the way of martial arts? Will you stand tall & proud, speak clearly, have that sparkle in your eye, and practice what you preach? Are you going to lighten the room with you presence day after day?

If you quite:

What does that show to others? Are you going to throw all that hard work away because of one man? What are you going to do next?

I would say that this is a great learning experience for you. You are learning what not to do, and you can put yourself in a position to stop these things from happening to yourself in the future.

As far as patterning yourself after another instructor, you need not do that. Become an individual by asking questions to yourself to make things better, come up with an educated guess, test that educated guess on multiple times in similar situations, if it works keep on doing it and making modifications along the way. Use the scientific method in the dojo to create the best suited classes and how to interact. It will take time to get used to thinking this way.

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Yes, I have considered quiting, but that is also considered running away form my problems. I can't do that anymore, from my dojang, there is only three people who i can trust to not blabber to my insructor. But, it's so hard dealing wiht him because he is an aggressive person who will defend his "territories". He has so many bad habbit's that over shine his good ones. He makes the whole class bow to him at random times because he has to leave to go do something, and thne he stays at the dojang until way after we leave chatting to his friends and making plans to go see a movie and stuff like that. I/ we deserve more respect than this right?....I don't want to complain alot, but i also sometimes hate being there. But i keep thing of the kids and how there going to turn out liek him if this keeps up. The future of my martial arts does not depend on me but on them, so yeah i agree with Fox_NFLs_GG. I can't leave them, i can't switch gyms either, but it's gonna be SOOO difficult changing things.

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How do you think i should do it without making a fool of my gym because the insrtuctor represents the gym itself?

OK, you need to put yourself in position where you do more instruction with the children. If he is lazy like you have described, he will let you take more classes because he will have to do less. You have to be the "Good Guy" which parents will learn to respect because you are the more understanding teacher. Try working with the kids more before class and install the positive side of the martial arts, they will want to be like you. Crack a few jokes and have fun with them. Be upbeat.

If you the situation with the head instructor worsens, it is time to go out on your own. Start off as a club in a basement, a church, or a local school. Your goal isn't to steal his students, but it is likely that some of his students will follow you into your new adventure. Once you have a good base, It would be time to start looking for more of a permanent place to teach your style. Your goal as an instructor isn’t to put anybody out of business, but to offer a positive experience for students.

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Well, I am 13....*shock* so telling people to leave the school and train in some "secret area" isn't the graetest idea. I really like your first idea though, exept he just sometimes tkaes over the class at random time and teaches for five mintues and sucks up to the kids.....then they don't listen to me anymore...after that...i really don't know why either

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Well, I am 13....*shock* so telling people to leave the school and train in some "secret area" isn't the graetest idea. I really like your first idea though, exept he just sometimes tkaes over the class at random time and teaches for five mintues and sucks up to the kids.....then they don't listen to me anymore...after that...i really don't know why either

I wasn't telling you what to do... Just throwing out ideas from experience...

#1 it is your age. My whole perspective of the situation has just changed. You need to look at yourself a little be more and put things into prespective. It wasn't that long ago that you where one of those kids and still are. I know you don't like being told that, but that is how your instructor views you. You have not had the experience and reponsibilities that an adult has had. I was not respected as an Instuctor by the younger students until I was 16. I went from being one of them to being a big brother. I wasn't respected by the adults until I was around 19. Now Iam 23 and I don't feel disrespected by any one because I have my time in and still doing it.

What it comes down to is life experience, you are just a kid or young adult if you prefer. It will come in time. One day you will look back and see everything in a different light. Maybe your instructor isn't as bad as you think he is. How much of it is you trying to prove yourself to others? How much of it is that you are trying to be older than what you are?

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There's at least four other adults that agree with me that are all in instuctor club.......it's not how much older i am trying to be...it's what i know is wrong and i am trying to fix it wiht my best ability. I know i am still young, but does that mean that young people's thoughts are always wrong?

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There's at least four other adults that agree with me that are all in instuctor club.......

If the majority of the senior students or assistant Instructor's feel the same way about the head Instructor, then you guys should be able to find a solution. Perhaps if everyone feels this way, you should all leave. Pick the adult(s) with the most experience and help him start a new school.

Maybe organize a meeting with the head Instructor and give all of the assistant Instructors a chance to discuss the direction that the school is going and the direction it should be going and ways to improve.

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