Unhappy parents

[tkdBill]

I try to take usatkdwtf's approach, and it has worked for me. Almost every child is capable of passing tests given enough practice and training. Some just take a lot more than most.

When I notice a child falling behind or not "getting it", I talk to the parents as soon as possible and propose that they bring their child to some extra classes. I make it a point to personally spend additional time with that child or at least pair him with a black belt to work with.

I have even gone as far as offering one-on-one time with a black belt or instructor trainee the day before testing to drill the child. I'm up-front with the parent and tell them that their child may not pass the test, but we will work hard to prepare him.

If the parents do not follow my suggestions, then they cannot complain about a "no-change"

So far this has worked well for me.

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[mikaveli]

I try to encourage independant learning, which forms part of their gradings. The more impatient someone is to grade, the more they need to learn patience. So I would not spend additional time coaching them over another student.

My younger cousin started training under me about 18 months ago. Because he was very keen initially, he was able to grade to Yellow Belt after about 6 months. However, since then he hasn't really progressed. A lot of kids seem to expect that if they just turn-up each week they will keep grading upwards!

It may be harsh, but my time teaching is devoted to any student (regardless of grade or ability) that is keen to learn and wants to put the effort in.

If a parent is unhappy with the childs progress, tell them to ask their child if they would still train if they never got another belt. If the answer is no, then they are not mature enough to train!

[CloudDragon]

I agree with usatkdwtf, it is the instructors resopnsiblility to engage their students on a personal level and interact with them in a way that will facilitate optimal learning by the student.

That being said, the student (and their parents) must be fully aware of what is required of them for each testing (preferably in writing and just after the awarding of the previous belt.)

Since all parties mentioned will agree that this is the correct way to train, they will have no issues with arranging the testing as suitable for both the student and instructor.

O.K. Now for reality, if you give the test requirements to the student as soon as possible, like the night of the belt ceremony. You have placed some of the responsiblility on them. Stay in contact with the parents and remind them that if they have an issue with why their child is not progressing they need to talk to you ASAP. Tell the parents that when they practice at home, to try and identify areas that need attention, if you offer private lessons, now would be a time to bring this up. If you don't offer private lessons, take their issues and address them with the student in class, correct them and send the student home to practice them.

Hope this helps.

[scottnshelly]

What we have to remember is that kids don't have the ability to make most decisions or commitments. Usually if a kid under 10 is enrolled it is because their parents have talked them into it, or forced them into it. Those are the ones that don't pass on a regular basis. Then there are others that do want to learn Martial Arts, but for the wrong reasons. If a kid that young signs up voluntarily, it is probably to be like Bruce Lee or to impress their peers. Once they attend a few classes and can't do a flip kick they lose interest. The parents keep them coming though.

In summation, as long as kids have parents interested in Martial Arts (for whatever reason) we will teach kids that don't really want to be there.

True an Instructor should be able to get a willing student ready for a test, but not all students are willing to learn. If this is a recurring problem, it isn't necessarily the Instructor’s fault, it could be the parent’s or the student’s fault.

Constant feedback, positive and negative should help the parent’s understand. Also, tell the kids (as a whole) what they are doing good and bad, then assign them ‘homework’. Make sure to include the parents. For example: ‘Your forms are looking good, but everyone needs to work on pivoting on such-and-such move at home, parents make sure they do this…’

If they fail a test, don’t progress or don’t get rewarded, then the parents will better understand why.

[usatkdwtf]

as far as the instructor responsibility thing...think about it this way...

Im sure all of us have had that onw teacher that really came through to us in school. The better teachers are the ones that work on themselves to be able to understand all learning styles. That one teacher that really got to you, imagine if that teacher had just thought "well, hes not involved or interested in the class" or "he seems like he doesnt want to be here" so he never takes the time to do what he did...which was get through to you and make an impact in your life. Im sure most of us still remember "that teacher".

If I see a student that is uninvolved or doesnt want to be there, I take a litte time to get through to that student for many reasons. So, he can test, so I keep him as a student...yes all of those. Mainly though I do it because I want to be "that teacher" that got through to that student and really mabe a difference. It has taken a lot of work on teaching methods and patience...but I believe this is what seperates those who have a large student base from those that do not. Even if you dont want a large school, if you were "that teacher" I think you would have to turn people away to stay small. when you connect efficivley with each student, both parent and student see and appreciate your extra work, or hard work on your teaching to be able to get through to their child. That will not go unrewarded through various ways. As olong as your heart is in the right place when doing it, that what will make your school stand out...in my opinion.

Just my opinion from my experiences.

[SloMo]

I feel for you, it happens a lot but I've been lucky in that we have some great parents that really help with their kids learning.

It's really rough when you have siblings progressing at different rates. But, we need to keep our integrity so I find, like most everyone here, that communication is the best thing to keep it from being a problem. We try to let the kids know well in advance when tests are coming and if someone is or isn't ready to test.

[Fox_NFLs_GG]

This is what I do, I create rank achievement papers and hand them to their parents. It gives a set series of requirements: 1. Kata practiced at home atleast three times daily. 2. Class attendance. 3. Other rank material practiced at home. 4. Proper respect at school, at dojo, and at home. 5. minimum time period for rank. 6. Minimum standard for styles martial are met 7. Instructors approval with Parents signature.

BTW Add a few more belt ranks in for the kids, so they and their parents don't get discouraged because Johnny isn't moving up. Plus it spreads out the material a little further so they can get better with out having too much on the plate.

Combine these two methods and most of you problems should be taken care of.

[Unknow II]

ya think u can help me wiht my problem, i am a student/leader in the school. I help teach class the the kids are very undisiplined, because my insrtuctor is undisiplined too! he doesn't do his job properly. He yells at people when they do something wrong and makes them feel really bad. he's such a jerk. In the kid's classes he almost ALWAYS plays a game in every class, though they don't deserve it at all. He doesn't nothing inthe gym. He also doesn't get involved with anything. Kids look up to this guy( a slacker, jerk, aggressive). How am i suppose to be a good instructor if all i'm learning from him?...he brushes people off because he's to lazy to put effort to achieve the student's/ school's goal. He does nothing but sit on the front dek looking at the class and taking a fart

---sorry about that i had to get out....any ideas on what i should do? Thanks

[ninjanurse]

Wow! You are really unhappy. Here is my response from the other thread you posted on:

"It can be frustrating when this situation exists in your dojang. I feel your pain and fully understand your position. Sometimes all we can do is hold on to what we know is right and try to affect as much change as possible until it either all falls apart or starts to improve. Of course the other choice is to bail but that is not always practical nor the "right" thing to do."

If your observations on the character of this instructor are indeed true you may want to consider your options and find a school that meets your expectations-not only for yourself but for your students. The trouble with life is that we can't make anyone accountable for their own actions and behavior-they have to do it themselves. I also understand your feelings of loyalty to the students...leaving them to the wolves so to speak is a difficult decision to make.

[Grenadier]

He doesn't nothing inthe gym. He also doesn't get involved with anything. Kids look up to this guy( a slacker, jerk, aggressive). How am i suppose to be a good instructor if all i'm learning from him?...he brushes people off because he's to lazy to put effort to achieve the student's/ school's goal. He does nothing but sit on the front dek looking at the class and taking a fart

The first thing you need to do is take a look at the long term picture. If this guy is the chief instructor of the school, and doesn't give a rats behind about the dojo, then it would probably be best to find a different place to train. I know this isn't easy, but if a tree is that diseased, and the fruit coming out of it is rotten, then it would be better to find a new tree that can bear bountiful fruit.

If this guy isn't the chief instructor, then maybe it's time to speak with your chief instructor about the situation. If the above mentioned fruit tree just has a diseased limb, maybe it only needs local treatment, or at the worst, pruning.