Unhappy parents

[pineapple]

Unfortunately not all children learn at the same rate. Some parents complain when their children are not promoted when another child with the same or less amount of time is promoted.

How do you deal with this?

[Sam]

Very difficult situation,

i mean ideally youd just say that they dont have to be there if they dont want, its down to them, but i guess you dont want to turn students away from your school!

Personally i would explain to the parent that the promotions are based on achieving a certain level of undertstanding, rather than directly related to the time attending lessons. And that some students go to more lessons and work at it at home.

Still a very difficult situation to be in - just out of interest is this question hypothetical or has it recently happened?

[elila]

You could tell the parents that their child is not yet ready to be promoted, and that if the child practices regularly at home they may do better in class and be promoted sooner.

Maybe they'd be happier at a place where you get promoted when you pay more money?

[ninjanurse]

This is s difficult situation yet all too common. Many parents (and grandparents)just don't understand the martial way and need to be taught just as their kids do. I think the key is to give regular feedback to the kids and their parents about their progress and not wait until before the promotional exam to drop the bomb. In additin, instructors must be on the same page and stick to a standard when recommending students for promotion. THis is sometimes just as hard.

[Grenadier]

This is never an easy situation, if the parents don't understand what's going on. Even though you're telling them the truth, that their child is not ready, that's something they probably don't want to hear. Some of the more impatient ones are actually quite willing to yank their kids out of the program once their contracts expire, and take them elsewhere that will promote them faster.

When asked the question why a different child was being promoted ahead of their own child, I would invite them to actually watch a class, and take an honest, hard look at the performance levels of their own child, compared to the other students in the class. Sometimes, this means that the other child is an exceptional student, listens to instructions, practices at home, and shows cleaner techniques / sharper kata. Other times, the child in question, might be a slower learner, and has a performance level that is simply not up to par when it comes to what we expect from that rank.

In general, parents who watch their children take the classes are better informed, than those who don't. Overall, I've found that asking the parents to watch the classes is one of the more effective ways to get the point across, since they'll also be available for a quick chat after things are over, and they've seen what was going on.

Does it always work? No. Some parents will still refuse to accept the fact that another child simply has significantly better talent levels and / or work ethics. Others simply can't tell the difference between an excellent student and a mediocre one. Finally, some parents flat out refuse to believe that their child may be below average in any way, shape, or form.

Sometimes, this might mean that the parents will come forth to the chief instructor, and start filing complaints against you, even if you did things right. This is why it's important to talk with the chief instructor on a regular basis, and give a lowdown of encounters that you have had with the parents, good or bad. The chief instructor probably already has a good amount of faith in your abilities, else you wouldn't be in that position, but it never hurts to keep him informed.

[pineapple]

Still a very difficult situation to be in - just out of interest is this question hypothetical or has it recently happened?

Unfortunately it is a recurring problem!

[Rateh]

Ive found that constant feedback to the students and parents as to what the child needs to work on can help. Once a month i take each kid aside and ask them to show me all of their techniques required for their next rank, and mark their progress. Then i decide off of there who is going to test and who isnt. I am always willing to tell any student who is not testing, what it is that they need to work on, before they can test. The parents like to see that you are paying specific attention to their child, and they are given clear reasons for the students nontesting status, as well as what the child needs to improve on to be able to test next time.

In summing up, ive found that giving honest feed back, and letting the parents know what exactly is holding the child back, and what can be done to improve that, helps the parents to understand your decision.

[mary_jane]

I hate when parents "get weird" about their kids!!! They want them to be perfect and then when they aren't, they complain to the wrong person!! Maybe they should brush up on their parenting skills if their children aren't meeting up to their demands!!!

[usatkdwtf]

if you regularly have students that come to the required classes but do not promote, then thats an instruction problem.

I understand that some kids just dont care..or are lazy....believe me I know...but its up to you as an instructor to get through to that student. You have to do more homework on how to teach that student.If all else fails take it upon yourself to make the extra time for the lacking students. Have a "test prep" class thats invitation only the last month of testing. In my opinion as long as the students come, its up to us as instructors to see to it that they are ready to test.

Now if you make them ready and they mess up at testing, then thats their own failure. A lot of times when the parents see the failure in front of their face at testing... its not an issue. As long as they were prepared by their instructor. If they failed it was due to circumstances beyond your control but directly contolled by that student...ie nerves,pressure,attitude,negative thinking, or just plain didnt break their boards.

IMO, make sure your students are ready by making the time to give them what they need.

[Rateh]

i very much disagree, an instructor can only do so much...

Yes of course you should put in time and effort towards your students, but you cannot FORCE a student to be ready to test. Some students for one reason or another, just are not able to learn the material at the same rate as their peers.

So yes, put time and effort into them and do what you can to teach and prepare them, but in the end if they still are not ready, it is NOT your fault.