Fancied by your students

[Sandan]

Hey,

Something just came up in my dojo over the past few weeks. I am a female instructor, 27, usual bits and pieces... however I'm getting feedback from my students that one in particular has a crush on me... so, what do I do, ignore him? Take the moral higher ground and say I'm above all that... he's quite young and I'm engaged (fiance also does Karate) so he knows that well I'm taken... so how do I handle the situation. Has anyone been in the same situation...

[Patrick]

Well, I haven't been in that situation, but people have crushes all the time. It's really not that big a deal. I wouldn't think there is anything you need to do unless he actually speaks to you about it, at which point you would tell him you're taken.

It might not even be accurate. The students might not know what they are talking about.

[White_Tiger]

I would take it as a compliment, and ignore it. If it comes to it, just tell him you are flattered, but you are taken.

Good luck!

[karatekid1975]

I agree. If it becomes an issue, tell your instructor. Or talk to his parents. That should (hopefully) solve the problem.

[Freddy]

Well summer is on its way, this shouldent be a suprise. In a week or so he has a crush on another girl. I think you shuold ignore it.

[aefibird]

In my dojo we have a lady who started just because she fancied our instructor. Her son had been coming to classes and she used to sit and watch the class (well...watch Sensei). She started karate because of a crush but carries on going now because she likes the MA so much.

This guy will probably get over it in time. If he's not said anything directly to you then I wouldn't worry about it. His friends may be wrong or may have told you for a joke or whatever.

[CheekyMusician]

As people have said, just be flattered and try to treat him the same as any other student.

I developed a crush on my Sensei after training for a couple of months and it still hasn't went away even after almost 3 years of training on and off. I love martial arts, though, and would hate for him to ignore me and/or treat me differently to the other students just because I fancy him. I want to train and learn just like everyone else, and it's just inconvenient that I happen to have a crush on my instructor.

I think my Sensei's probably guessed by now, but he's never brought it up and I doubt he ever will unless I jump on him and try to take advantage of him or something, which I'm not planning on doing any time in the near future.

Your student will probably get over it in the near future, but until then treat him like you would any other student, and if he ever does bring it up then deal with it at that time. If the poor lad is anything like me, though, he'll be quite embarrassed about it, anyway, and will be even more embarrassed (probably even enough to quit) if he knows that people have told you.

[solar_kid]

Gossip is unreliable and generally bad for the morale of everyone involved. Your student is apt to be embarassed if he found out, regardless of the truth. You're worrying about a situation that may or may not exist.

My advice: Forget it and move on. If he makes an advance, you are prepared with a response anyway. Thinking about it further is a waste of emotional energy.

Good luck!

[parkerlineage]

I know for a fact that most of my girl students (all 13 and under) have 'crushes' on me...but if I were you, I wouldn't put much stock in them at all. You're a master at something they're just beginning in...you eminate power...strength...knowledge...of course they're going to have a crush on you (being 6'5" with strikingly handsome features (strikingly as in, "My nose is crooked because someone struck it with their fist while we were sparring...") helps...).

Crushes come and go...ignore it unless s/he keeps pushing.

Peace;

Parkerlineage

[ialwaysgethit]

I agree, it is a compliment, just treat them as normal, you never know, he might tell his friends and they might all come down too.

As long as it go no further you will have no problems at all, it is worse when you fancy some one you are teaching!!