This scared me into knowing how lethal my practice is...

[JusticeZero]

The guy is a convicted rapist, and she married him...So I ended up moving in with my sister because he went back to jail for beating her.

They started working things out so I allowed him to move back in

Frankly at this point you aren't practicing self defense. Your sister is in a horrible situation that she created for herself, and she needs help because she's self-destructive and you're not helping her. And you are letting this person who you know is a danger into your house?

 

I tell people all the time: If you're in a bar and someone gets in a fight, that isn't self defense. You go to bars so that you can get in fights. If someone starts a fight when you're there, it has all the validity to me of saying "I flipped this guy the bird and called him horrible names, but when he attacked me I was so surprised! It was self defense!"

 

Personally i'd disown my sister over this until she came to her senses.. probably after being found half dead in a basement or something two or three times, but if she choses to do that to herself, I don't want her anywhere near me.

 

That said, the whole 'nonviolence' thing is overrated when dealing with ferals who can't comprehend anything beyond instant gratification of anger; this man certainly sounds like one.

[ivette_green]

Ahhh! Why would anyone marry that guy? I just don't understand!

[Menjo]

WOW............yea i think you handled it well. Good job

[Menjo]

The guy is a convicted rapist, and she married him...So I ended up moving in with my sister because he went back to jail for beating her.

They started working things out so I allowed him to move back in

Frankly at this point you aren't practicing self defense. Your sister is in a horrible situation that she created for herself, and she needs help because she's self-destructive and you're not helping her. And you are letting this person who you know is a danger into your house?

 

I tell people all the time: If you're in a bar and someone gets in a fight, that isn't self defense. You go to bars so that you can get in fights. If someone starts a fight when you're there, it has all the validity to me of saying "I flipped this guy the bird and called him horrible names, but when he attacked me I was so surprised! It was self defense!"

 

Personally i'd disown my sister over this until she came to her senses.. probably after being found half dead in a basement or something two or three times, but if she choses to do that to herself, I don't want her anywhere near me.

 

That said, the whole 'nonviolence' thing is overrated when dealing with ferals who can't comprehend anything beyond instant gratification of anger; this man certainly sounds like one.

 

Yea, i know exaclty what you meant. But you never know the whole story either you know what i mean?

[KempoTiger]

hrmm....just reading that makes me glad (well actually upset) that I wasn't there. I don't even know the guy, but if I saw that I'd have put my fist through his face.

Having someone behave in such a way to a family member of mine....well I very well might have broken him permanently.

[Mr. Mike]

I guess the point is that I didn't need to. Slam my actions if you want; we all have our own opinions. I was trying to help, and he was attending counseling. I've always tried to give a second chance.

Yes, my sister does need help...NO, she doesn't want it, and won't listen or follow when it's offered. Maybe someday, I may find her tied to a refrigerator, maybe not...who can say? DId I want to smash his jaw, or take a knee, or throw him down the stairs? SUre. I also wanted to kill him. Did I? Of course not. Why should I have when I owned the situation?

My entire point was that I could have killed the guy had I not excercised self restraint.

[IcemanSK]

I guess the point is that I didn't need to. Slam my actions if you want; we all have our own opinions. I was trying to help, and he was attending counseling. I've always tried to give a second chance.

Yes, my sister does need help...NO, she doesn't want it, and won't listen or follow when it's offered. Maybe someday, I may find her tied to a refrigerator, maybe not...who can say? DId I want to smash his jaw, or take a knee, or throw him down the stairs? SUre. I also wanted to kill him. Did I? Of course not. Why should I have when I owned the situation?

My entire point was that I could have killed the guy had I not excercised self restraint.

Mike:

I'm praying for you & your family. Its a tough situation you all are in. You're just being a stand-up guy doin' the best ya can. I won't pretend its easy. Hang in there.

[Mr. Mike]

thanks, but I've been out of that for nearly a year's time now. I'm not blind...I know when I am putting my family in harm's way. We are out. I still have my sister ask for help either financially or otherwise, and I am disinclined to offer any more assistance until she figures it out on her own. My take is, 'if you don't want the help, don't ask.'

Or, 'if you ask for help, and I offer you help, don't get mad for the help that I offer.'

I've dealt with his PO, and my sister was extremely upset with me for even trying to help. She accused me of trying to break them up. Oh well...one of these days...I would go into the financial side, but that is a different story altogether...

[scottnshelly]

My entire point was that I could have killed the guy had I not excercised self restraint.

I think that self restraint is one of the most important tenets that we learn in Martial Arts. Self control is more difficult than punching someone in the face.

[Eric_]

This scared me into knowing how lethal my practice is...

How could that scare you? Clearly you were better prepared for a non-violent approach. Your training illustrated the true scope of your body's destructive capabilities. You wouldn't have needed Kenpo training to kill the guy; grabbing him around the throat and hurling him headfirst down a flight of stairs would have done the trick . . . and without any martial arts training, that probably would have been your most likely reaction (assuming you did try to hurt him). Entertaining scenarios of beating the crap out of the dude has nothing to do with your training. Being a martial artist, you imagined breaking his knees. Before you began to study martial arts, you would have been doing the exact same thing, except that you would have been imagining punching him in the face a lot, instead.