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Posted

I fell victim to one of those once. Worst $300.00 i ever spent

"The journey of a 1,000 miles starts with but a single step."

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Posted

Ok, I have a gi, a crest from parkerlineage, the certificate and the belt from Rachael. I think I'm ready to go.

Patrick's Internet Dojo launching May 1. Black Belts in under 90 minutes or your money back!

Posted

Oh Snap! Sign me up!

.

The best victory is when the opponent surrenders

of its own accord before there are any actual

hostilities...It is best to win without fighting.

- Sun-tzu

Posted

But, wait!

For a small fee ($2000 plus 10% of total revenue, forever), we'll throw in ... A VIRTUAL DOJO!

That's right, everything but the smell of sweat! Just think, you could be the Ultimate Grand-Champion of your own World Famous Virtual Dojo!

(Our lawyers tell us we have to disclose that you will also not experience any of the following: Contact, verbal interaction, actual instruction, pain, a sense of participation, any positive roll modeling opportunitites or any other beneficial aspect of actual, qualified instruction.)

Act now, or you may not get the Dojo Name you want!

"Tomorrow's battle is won during today's practice."

M.A.S.

Posted
:lol: :lol:

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."

- T. S. Eliot

Posted

Patrick's Internet Dojo launching May 1. Black Belts in under 90 minutes or your money back!

Great!! Where do I sign up? Sure beats actually training.... :P

I'd probably buy my Sensei one of those certificates from eBay as a joke present... if they wern't so expensive.

He'd appreciate the joke, but I ain't spending that much!

"Was it really worth it? Only time and death may ever tell..." The Beautiful South - The Rose of My Cologne


Sheffield Steelers!

Posted

I think that I'll start an infocommercial called. "How to get rich selling fraudulent black belt certificates" :D

What works works

Posted

Oh, wait, I got it!

Black Belt certification... as a Pay-Per-View Event!

Our program instructors, featuring excerpts from "Walker: Texas Ranger," "Kung Fu, The Series," and such notable scenes as "I Just Broke Your Arm" from just about every Steven Segal movie, will thrill you, irritate your spouse to no end, drive your kids to either leave the room or begin screaming and kicking the furniture AND teach everyone in the room the important skills needed to be a Certified Grandmaster of Satellite-Fu White Remote Kai Self-Defendo, the Ultimate Martial Art!

All subscribers will find, at the end of the 60-minute program, a secret code. Call the Black Belt Hotline, tell them the code, and you will receive your Belt and Certificate by mail, in 7-10 Business Years.

This is your once-in-a-lifetime chance to earn a REAL BLACK BELT!

(This program will be repeated every hour, on the hour, for then next 2.5 months, on channel 12479. The pay-per-view cost is $27.95. Black Belt Hotline will appear on your phone bill as "Uncle Harvey's Adult Media" and will reflect a fee of $750 for the first 5 minutes, rounded up to the nearest hour. Shipping and handling for Belt/Certificate will be billed to your credit card, at a rate of $600. Belt will retain the Black color unless washed, sweated upon or actually worn.)

"Tomorrow's battle is won during today's practice."

M.A.S.

Posted
I fell victim to one of those once. Worst $300.00 i ever spent

Are you joking? Fell victim?

To condemn the art of another is to condemn your own as well. We all have the same origin.

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