hobz Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground regarding this chicken. COLIN POWELL Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. JOHN KERRY Although I originally voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! RALPH NADER The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road becau se it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. PAT BUCHANAN That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. RUSH LIMBAUGH I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross! MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my egg s when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. JERRY FALWELL The chicken crossed the road because the chicken was gay - isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken went across the road, But as for the reason, I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY The chicken crossed the road to die in the rain. Alone. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace. ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX It was an historic inevitability that the chicken would cross the road. CAPTAIN KIRK The chicken crossed the road to boldly go where no chicken had ever gone before. SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES I have just released eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook...and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. And what is your definition of chicken, anyway? AL GORE I invented the chicken! THE BIBLE And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing. COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one? Rule #1: Play the game to the limit. Damn the consequences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShotokanKid Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Hahahaha those are some good ones! "What we do in life, echoes in eternity.""We must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenbelt_girl15 Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 heeheehee those are good! God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, a spirit of power, and of self-discipline.2 Timothy 1:7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShotokanKid Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 You should change the Bible one to Monty Python. I like the Bill Gates one and the Grandpa one. "What we do in life, echoes in eternity.""We must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red J Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 It's worthy of the laughing smilie! I had to lose my mind to come to my senses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveb Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 the Colonel Sanders kicker at the end was the best! Res firma, mitescere nescit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kicks Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Speaking of chickens... http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/2461/flyin_egg_fight.swf when you create the world's largest trailer park, you're going to have tornadoes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
June1 Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 LOL! Those were good! My favourite ones would have to be Freud, Barbara Walters, Einstein, Bill Clinton, and Colonel Sanders! Kool Kiais: ICE! DIE! KITES! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH! KIAI!"Know Thyself""Circumstances make me who I am." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CompactDinnerFork Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Almost died laughing on the Grandpa one, Oh and the John Kerry And George W. Bush ones where quite funny too!- Lukey! Dear God,Please Have Mercy On My ApponentsBecause I Wont. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karate kid 1 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 lol thats worth laughing for FEAR is only a four letter wordRORY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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