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Why did the chicken cross the road? (Answers inside!)


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Posted

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

 

GEORGE W. BUSH

 

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground regarding this chicken.

 

COLIN POWELL

 

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

 

JOHN KERRY

 

Although I originally voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!

 

RALPH NADER

 

The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road becau se it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

 

PAT BUCHANAN

 

That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

 

RUSH LIMBAUGH

 

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross!

 

MARTHA STEWART

 

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my egg s when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

 

JERRY FALWELL

 

The chicken crossed the road because the chicken was gay - isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

 

DR. SEUSS

 

Did the chicken cross the road?

 

Did he cross it with a toad?

 

Yes, the chicken went across the road,

 

But as for the reason, I've not been told.

 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

 

The chicken crossed the road to die in the rain. Alone.

 

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

 

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

 

GRANDPA

 

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

 

BARBARA WALTERS

 

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

 

JOHN LENNON

 

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

 

ARISTOTLE

 

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

KARL MARX

 

It was an historic inevitability that the chicken would cross the road.

 

CAPTAIN KIRK

 

The chicken crossed the road to boldly go where no chicken had ever gone before.

 

SIGMUND FREUD

 

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

 

BILL GATES

 

I have just released eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook...and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

 

ALBERT EINSTEIN

 

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 

BILL CLINTON

 

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. And what is your definition of chicken, anyway?

 

AL GORE

 

I invented the chicken!

 

THE BIBLE

 

And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken "THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD." And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

 

COLONEL SANDERS

 

Did I miss one?

Rule #1: Play the game to the limit. Damn the consequences.

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Posted

Hahahaha those are some good ones!

"What we do in life, echoes in eternity."


"We must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men."

Posted

You should change the Bible one to Monty Python.

 

I like the Bill Gates one and the Grandpa one.

"What we do in life, echoes in eternity."


"We must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men."

Posted

It's worthy of the laughing smilie!

 

:lol:

I had to lose my mind to come to my senses.

Posted

the Colonel Sanders kicker at the end was the best! :)

Res firma, mitescere nescit

Posted

LOL! Those were good! My favourite ones would have to be Freud, Barbara Walters, Einstein, Bill Clinton, and Colonel Sanders!

Kool Kiais: ICE! DIE! KITES! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH! KIAI!


"Know Thyself"


"Circumstances make me who I am."

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Almost died laughing on the Grandpa one, Oh and the John Kerry And George W. Bush ones where quite funny too!

:lol:

- Lukey! :)

Dear God,

Please Have Mercy On My Apponents

Because I Wont.

  • 4 months later...

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