Kicks Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P = problem logged by the pilot. S = solution and action taken by the engineers P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs are on backorder, should be in next week. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence wiped off. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume dial set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you are right. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: De-mouser (Cat) installed. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. when you create the world's largest trailer park, you're going to have tornadoes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenbelt_girl15 Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 That is realy funny! God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, a spirit of power, and of self-discipline.2 Timothy 1:7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vertigo Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 nice... "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T. S. Eliot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
June1 Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 ROFL!!! Great! Kool Kiais: ICE! DIE! KITES! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH! KIAI!"Know Thyself""Circumstances make me who I am." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShotokanKid Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs are on backorder, should be in next week. I like these ones "What we do in life, echoes in eternity.""We must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CompactDinnerFork Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 LMAO!! Take the hammer off of midget, Pretty funny ...- Lukey! Dear God,Please Have Mercy On My ApponentsBecause I Wont. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solar_kid Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 LMAO!I'd seen these before, but they have real staying power! ----Hmm. Hello. This is the floor. How did I get here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CapitalKarate Posted April 26, 2005 Share Posted April 26, 2005 I'm tearing so hard right now! LMAO!!! Thanks man, i needed that! Joshua Brehm-When you're not practicing remember this; someone, somewhere, is practicing, and when you meet them, they will beat you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Menjo Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 LOl some of my friends awhile ago used to use those sheets for a laugh and made clever remarks "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst"William Penn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atalanta071 Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 LMAO! Dude, those are awesome! Can't we all just get along?!I learn to fight so I don't have to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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