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Airline Humor


Kicks

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After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

 

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

 

P = problem logged by the pilot.

 

S = solution and action taken by the engineers

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

 

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

 

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

 

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

 

S: Live bugs are on backorder, should be in next week.

 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent

 

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

 

S: Evidence wiped off.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

 

S: DME volume dial set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

 

S: That's what they're there for.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

 

S: Suspect you are right.

 

P: IFF inoperative.

 

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.

 

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search

 

P: Aircraft handles funny.

 

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

 

S: De-mouser (Cat) installed.

 

P: Target radar hums.

 

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

 

S: Took hammer away from midget.

when you create the world's largest trailer park, you're going to have tornadoes

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P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

 

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

 

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

 

S: Live bugs are on backorder, should be in next week.

 

I like these ones :lol: :lol: :lol:

"What we do in life, echoes in eternity."


"We must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men."

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