Do nice guys finish last?

[P.A.L]

let me give you a example

 

last year we been practicing some grappling on a hard floor dojo, i was hanging on this guy ,he tried a ashi barai ,I swept under his sweep and boom he was on the floor , he did it again and boom on the floor , then i thought this is not good i'll let him to do his technique, then boom i was on the floor with a cracked rib, took me about a year to heal since I was practicing BJJ at the time, now last night we been grappling again, and i being a nice guy after some grappling with a young kid decided to put me hand out of my chest so this young guy can do a arm bar ,after a while that he was not seeing the opening he finaly moved for this arm bar , but he did so bad and jerky that messed up my elbow now i am sitting here ,typing with one hand, surly nobodys fault but me. God knows when it's gonna heal.

[Shorin Ryuu]

Hmm...thought this was referring more to the teen and young adult dating scene...Looks like we opened it quite a bit further.

 

*Looks at Gandhi*

 

 

As someone mentioned, you can make a difference between being a nice guy and a doormat. There's also a difference between being a nice guy and a guy with no self-confidence...All too often people mask their fear of action with being a "nice guy".

[Gandhi]

I must have been walking on the moon.

 

[KarateChick06]

Unfortunately, we are a capitalist society that rewards those who get away with the most. Sure you can be an honest business man, but if you don't make money, you are screwed. However, if you do something dishonest yet within the bounds of the law, you are a great businessman. We reward those who get what they want in any way necessary even if it involves lying and cheating.

 

If you believe in the Heaven, then everything balances out there.

[Cmon]

Dating. I think simply a girl wants the "nice guy" as the friend and wants to "bad guy" as their boyfriend. But when seing the "bad guy" blows up in their face they always come running back to the "nice guy" wanting support when the "nice guy" would never of treated the girl like she is just an object.

 

If a "nice guy" tries to get a girl it will take longer then it would a "bad guy". Plus being a "nice guy" by nature comes across to the girl as really friend-like so they will not see you as a potential boyfriend they will not see your have emotions for them.

 

Damn thats some serious appostraphy(sp) making.

[isshinryu5toforever]

actually, I have found that girls do like "bad boys" when they are younger. IE my age. When they get a bit older, and they are ready to start bringing guys home to meet mom and dad, they want a nicer guy. It is quite odd because I have attracted women nearly a decade older than I am, and they are quite attractive, but I have a bit of a problem dating someone a decade older than me, but that will probably change in a couple of years. I am just a freshman in college right now. The girls my age, they are fantastically clueless as to what they actually want. Any time they describe their perfect guy, they really want someone who is quite the opposite. Women don't want a man who is funny and intelligent which are two of the more popular notions. They want a man (turn on the latin accent) that sounds like Antonio Banderas, who will sweep them off their feet and make them melt with his charm and bravado. (turn off accent)

[KarateChick06]

Hahaha..... course it goes the same way on the girls' side. If a girl doesn't dress in micro-dresses with plunging necklines then she won't get half as much attention as those who do. The friendly, jeans & t-shirts 'one-of-the-guys' girls are ignored.

[Shorin Ryuu]

Hahaha..... course it goes the same way on the girls' side. If a girl doesn't dress in micro-dresses with plunging necklines then she won't get half as much attention as those who do. The friendly, jeans & t-shirts 'one-of-the-guys' girls are ignored.

Some of that's very true. But I think a lot of us guys welcome that kind of girl. Usually, our first response is "wow, cool." I for one much prefer the friendly kind than the other (whether we're talking friends or dating). For now, I've stopped caring about the whole date scene, anyway (I've got too many goals to reach without having to worry about getting involved with other people...I realize if I do this forever it may become too late one day...). Unless she shared most of my hobbies, it'd be difficult to work the whole time issue out...

[KarateChick06]

Hahaha..... course it goes the same way on the girls' side. If a girl doesn't dress in micro-dresses with plunging necklines then she won't get half as much attention as those who do. The friendly, jeans & t-shirts 'one-of-the-guys' girls are ignored.

Some of that's very true. But I think a lot of us guys welcome that kind of girl. Usually, our first response is "wow, cool." I for one much prefer the friendly kind than the other (whether we're talking friends or dating). For now, I've stopped caring about the whole date scene, anyway (I've got too many goals to reach without having to worry about getting involved with other people...I realize if I do this forever it may become too late one day...). Unless she shared most of my hobbies, it'd be difficult to work the whole time issue out...

 

Right. I'm at the dojo every night, so unless you call training a "date"... lol.

[monkeygirl]

You can be nice and still get what you want...

 

Nice doesn't mean:

 

1. quiet

 

2. super-passive

 

3. martyr-like

 

4. forbidden to stand up for onself against not-so-nice people

 

5. naive, gullible

 

As far as "nice guys not getting the girl"...

 

You can be nice. Just make sure that you establish that you're INTERESTED, in more than a buddy-buddy friendship. If you're too slow, and just nice at first, she'll probably never think of you as anything more than a friend. It's possible, but not if someone gets to her first.

 

[/$0.02]