You just might be a Redneck Martial Artist...

[KUNTA KINTE]

I'm from Oklahoma

 

dont be affended.

 

...if you think it is Oklahoma Karate

 

(okinawn (sp) karate)

 

Not that good =/

[Red J]

...If you went out and bought fancy gis in three colors. John Deere green, Ford blue, and primer gray...

 

...if your dojo is in located in the back room of a truck stop

 

...if you ever used a martial art move on a possum

 

...when asked what style is your favorite you say "WWF"

 

...if the stains on your gi are Penzoil

 

...if you ever asked for the nunchucka application in squirrel hunting

 

...your Kiai is a belch

 

...if you want to learn a "flying" move to help you get into your monster pick-up

 

...if you have ever asked the sensei to demonstrate "pull my finger"

 

[Kicks]

Red J... you're a riot. You are seriously hurting my sides from laughing so hard!

[steveb]

...if your Wavemaster is up on blocks

 

...if you're jealous of your friends dojang because they have a double-wide

 

...if your agility drills include trying to catch chickens (see also Rocky II)

 

...if your trophy case includes a "Beers of the World" bottle collection

 

...if one wall of your dojang is covered in out of state license plates

[Red J]

Red J... you're a riot. You are seriously hurting my sides from laughing so hard!

 

Thanks for starting this. I couldn't let you have all the fun!

[Red J]

...if you met your girlfriend while taking the mudwrestling class

 

...your wavemaster "BOB" was a special order from the local taxidermist

 

...your favorite weapons class starts off with breaking the top off of a beer bottle

 

...you have your black belt banquet at Hooters

 

...your favorite car and MA technique is called the "General Lee"

 

[Kicks]

You just might be a Redneck if...

 

...your school's logo is declared offensive in at least 13 states.

 

...you’ve ever gotten into a fist fight over a bowling score.

 

...you wear a sleeveless gi top and double-knit pants.

 

...your dojang keeps the Christmas lights up all year round.

 

...you use Armor-All on your Macho pads.

 

...your sparring techniques include spitting tobacco in your opponent's eyes.

 

...your head gear includes a John Deer or Nascar baseball cap.

 

...you use old auto parts in your weight room.

 

...you call your instructor “dude.”

 

...your favorite energy drink is Yoo-Hoo.

[Red J]

 

Just when I thought there could possibly be no more!

 

[Red J]

...If you refer to your Grandmaster as "Boss Hog"

 

...You have a Gi that is custom made by "Ducks Unlimited"

 

...You have a "four-wheeler" defensive tactics class at your dojo

 

...You think that "HeeHaw" is an acceptable Kiai

 

...Your dream Gi is an Elvis Jumpsuit

 

...Your self-defense techniques include defense against sideburn grabs

 

...Your sensei teaches verbal defense with statements like "I gonna open up a six pack of whoopass on ya"

 

...The photographer has you put in your mouthguard just to take pictures

 

...Your weapons training involves "pitching horseshoes"

 

[Kicks]

"HeeeeeeHaaaaaw!!!!!!"