SHOULD I STAY OR GO? DISRESPECT WITHIN THE DOJO.

[supernix]

dublicate sorry

[KaiShin]

this is simply riddiculous.... u got in a fight with a sensei and now u wanna leave.. what sensei in his/her right mind would consider hitting a student! this is no sensei! ur just taking un necisary abuse... come to my dojo in toronto and u would see something so completely different... u would ask yourself what u were doing back there!

[Pacificshore]

Obviously there are two sides to this story, however no one is forcing you from leaving or staying.....So make your free choice and go with it...my 2 cents

[AnonymousOne]

May I give some advice as an old koot who has been training for 41 years?

 

I have to ask, why are you training? Is it not to develop your martial skills?

 

That’s the purpose of going to a dojo. As for gaining spiritual growth I think that’s a matter for outside a dojo. No dojo I have ever seen is geared up to handle the depths and breadth of the human psyche for actual spiritual growth. That’s a vast field.

 

I would go there to train and train alone and as for politics just don’t get involved.

 

If someone says "Hey... did you know this..." or "Did you know so and so is saying this .....", I would simply reply:

 

"I am sorry, I am not here to get involved in politics and especially not here to get involved in maligning another human being. I am here to train and train alone and what others do, is really none of my business. So if you don’t mind; I would prefer to live a peaceful life and allow others to get involved in pettiness. You don’t object to me living a quiet and peaceful life do you?”

 

Or simply ask “Please explain to me why this is my business and why I am expected to be dragged into this when I only come here to train?”

 

With some people you have to be tough. It is human nature to seek justification in these circumstances. People want to feel justified in their actions and thoughts and want to form mutual admiration societies.

 

Be well above that. Walk with integrity and don’t lower yourself into the quagmire of mediocrity of pettiness, childish, jealousy, hatred, gossiping, maligning, and judging.

 

Don’t worry about what others think. The second you do, you hand over control of your emotions to someone else to play with. Who is in control of your life? You or another human being?

 

The martial arts student, should seek to love others, be kind, thoughtful, courteous, caring and non intrusive. Minding your own business is a hard thing to do, but it’s a noble and honourable thing to do.

 

Stick to the training and leave the gossiping, maligning mutual admiration societies to themselves. Unless you own the dojo, the politics are really not your business.

 

As for giving up? Why show the world you are a quitter?

 

In the 1970’s long before I was a Shodan we had this guy who was a Shodan. He was big, he mean and he didn’t care about it. When our instructor wasn’t there or wasn’t looking this guy would beat the crap out of people. He was good too.

 

I beat his wife in contest which I think embarrassed him because they both started training long before I did. Well the next time I sparred with him he beat me up good. It was a large class and our Sensei didn’t see what was happening as it happened. I came away with a badly bleeding mouth and contusion of the rib cage. I couldn’t train for a week. As I was leaving the dojo that night the Sensei saw the mess I was in and asked if I was okay and asked did I want to tell him anything. I said I was okay, I wasn’t and I also said it was just an accident, which it wasn’t.

 

I went home full of fury and humiliation. But it spawned in me a new resolve. I swore to myself no one would be ever able to do that to me again. This was my first motivational seminar so to speak. A week later I was on night shift in my job and attended some daytime private lessons. I asked to see the Sensei after the lesson privately. This man was retired from contest, but was our countries undefeated karate champ 8 straight years in a row. He was highly skilled. I asked him what I had to do to succeed in karate.

 

His answer was simple. “Do the most productive thing possible at every given moment in terms of achieving your karate goals. Do you have a goal young man?” He said. Of course I said no and he replied “Then the most productive thing you can do right now is find and set a goal”.

 

That was sound advice!!

 

I could have left the dojo. I could have stirred up trouble with the hierarchy of the dojo over the behaviour of this guy, but persistence and resolve led to greater benefits.

 

To cut a long story short, I kept training. Eventually this guy left the dojo and stopped training. 15 years went by.

 

We attended a weekend long training camp. There was about 300 students there from all over the country. We finally got to kumite training and were changing partners as you do. All of a sudden, there right before me, was this same guy again, he was now a probationary black belt and has been made to work his way up through the ranks again. Bare in mind I had not stopped training for 15 years, I had just recently returned from 2 years full time training in Japan (36 brutal hours per week for two years) and was now 4th Dan.

 

I said to him, before the command to proceed, “Do you remember me?”… He said he did. He was still arrogant, cocky and full of conceit. His answer was somewhat belligerent.

 

Being a senior grade to him I demanded he attack me with full force. So he did. The first time he did I foot swept him and left a sprawling mess on the floor. I told him to hurry and get up. He attacked again so I again foot swept him onto the floor. I must have decked him about 5 times I guess. Each time he got up he was angrier than the last. He wasn’t able to get near me. It was impossible because I had 15 years training ahead of him. After the kumite and before the change of partner I said “You need to move faster and be sure of your opponent. Never forget that an opponent can surpass you, do you understand me.?” He sheepishly answered “Hai”.

 

I said nothing more. I didn’t need to. I got my pay back and he became a different student after that I am happy to report.

 

Use adverse circumstances to propel you to greater heights. Stand tall, have integrity, train hard and achieve your goals.

 

Don’t give in the negative and misguided influence of another people.

 

May your training and goals be blessed!

[1kickKO]

Great story...I remember somebody at our dojo like that, everytime a girl walked in he tried to impress them and started beating up other students...eventually he got kicked out of our dojo by sensei.

[searcher]

Pacific Shore and Anonymous One are both on the money. Go there for what you need and then go home.

 

As a martial artist you are a little at fault for being drawn into the fight.

 

Everything changes if you feel like you are in danger of being mamed or injured. If this is the case you need to find another school to train at. This cannot be the only school in your area.

 

You said that you are a part of the "Chikara community". Does this mean that you are a part of a larger organization? If so go to your sensei's instructor or the head of the organization and ask them for advice. Just be sure to do it respectfully.

[pineapple]

I once had an instructor who I had several disagreements with and although I always discussed my concerns in a respectful manner, he would yell at me and criticize me. I didn't want to quit because I had gone through many years of very rigorous training with him. A mutual friend told me that I should change school because the instructor will never change. I tried to stick it out but his attitude towards me was really terrible.

 

I finally changed school and I have been treated with nothing but respect by my new instructor and his students.

 

I always say that you must find a school that you are willing to make a lifetime commitment to! DO IT!

[1kickKO]

So what's the deal..have ya stayed or left the dojo?

[JOMA]

Politics inside the Dojo who ever heard of such a thing? lol

 

Focus on the training be greedy and get as much as you can. But. You're training your body and your mind, it sounds like your Sensei is only giving you physical training not mental training. A good mind, strong body think about it.

[1kickKO]

Hmm wonder where he went, haven't heard from the poster for a while..I'm wondering whether he decided to stay or leave his politically troubled school.