What You're *Really* Thinking In Class...

[ebff]

During Wing Chun:

"Sifu is really short. Damn he's small. Haha little small man. Bit of an inferiority complex, that's probably why he's shouting at us like a drill sergeant."

"I wonder if that 2m10 120kg muscle mass on my left attacked the sifu, whether sifu would beat him. Or how." (question answered when the 1m50 sifu to prove his might punched down on said giant's shoulder making him kneel down by 20cm - maybe there's something to this "chi" stuff after all)

"What's for dinner tonight"

"This room really smells"

"I wish I wasn't standing next to the bloody fan again"

"oh f*** I've paired up with the psycho again" (resulting in split lip cos even my strongest block didn't do anything)

"this guy's breath REALLY stinks. Maybe he should have gone light on the strawberry yogurt. PLEASE stop burping small man."

"the floor is slippery when you're wearing socks. Why can sifu wear shoes?"

"how p***** off would sifu be if I insulted him right now and tried to wind him up?" (+ variations on "what would happen if somebody/if I attacked sifu?")

"I wish he'd give us a paper with the first form printed on it rather than go through it at double speed" (still couldn't remember it after the 10th session)

"bugger forgot the deo" (turned out not to be a problem as I was paired with rotten strawberry breath)

"ah **** genna get bruised again when will it stop"

"please don't pick me... bugger" (followed by a demonstration by sifu of how one should be relaxed during practice and a demonstration by me on how not to be relaxed when the sifu is in front of you demonstrating a technique and his arms feel like iron bars. Oh and the kwoon legend passed on by instructors that sifu was able to punch somebody through the ribs to their heart.)

"what's for dinner"

During fencing:

"what if I kicked that blade out of the way rather than parry? the legs aren't electric"

"I wonder if I can apply chi sao to sabre i.e. sticky blades?" (doesn't work)

"what's for dinner"

"please let's not have another 4 hour session I've had too much lunch" (usually results in getting a longer tougher session)

(sizing up championship prizes) "right if I lose against him and win against this one then I can get the box of cadbury's" (my pride couldn't take losing so I won the championship and got the haribo's instead - gave them to the team which instantly earned me loads of respect... kids are kids even at 17!)

Ah the wonders of being a teenager again... those were the days

Right, now back to that report.