Tips on overcoming intimidation?

[wc1978]

Hi guys just wanted some ideas on preparing myself mentaly.

 

I am a shy person by nature and when i was younger got bullied a bit.

 

Now i feel like if i was attacked that i would most likely try and fend the guy off and probably end up getting the crap kicked out of me.

 

I am 26 years old and am 5'9 and about 70kg.

 

I have been training on and off in wing chun and have gained some confidence but i feel that i have sort of a mental block like i dont think i can win and will just get hurt more if i resist. That is obviously a stupid idea but it can be my gut reaction.

 

On the other hand if it is someone i know i dont get intimidated and can realy blow my top and fight hard, just wish i could do that with strangers.

 

I have recently started some contact type sparring to get over my fear of getting hit using head gear and mits but find it an unpleasant experience as getting belted in the head till you get a headache isnt exactly fun but will try and persevere with it.

 

I am thinking of maybe doing some boxing to get used to fighting someone in a semi serious way although actual arranged fights are a bit too full on to me, i dont really want brain damage!

 

I also plan to try and add some more muscle to my frame and try and train a lot more regularly as i havent trained much in the last 2 yrs or so due to other committments.

 

Any ideas on trying to overcome those inner demons and gain some confidence without getting killed?

[Straight Blast]

Hm...just think of this...

 

When you spar someone and they are lower rank than you..do you feel comfy? or when you spar against a higher ranked fighter,are you scared just because they are higher? Our mind is like a ball..it gets tossed around a lot controlling our emotions and mind.

 

I dont know if this would help to much-.-

 

Ive always been way to self-effiecient...i wouldnt care if i was fighting a 200lbs built black man named Du-Rag

 

BTW,always remember this ''in reality,everyone gets hit'',so dont be to suprised if you get hit a couple of times..all that matters is that you walk away as the victor.

[wc1978]

Thanks for the reply Straight Blast, it has to do more with body size or their attitude.

 

I find i get intimidated by aggressive people, especialy if they are larger. This is something i must work on as i reckon in a real fight i would be too defensive.

[Straight Blast]

If you think about it.

 

Who would you rather be more afraid to fight? your instructor..or a poorly or rather not trained fighter who just is a bit bigger? Strength isnt always the main thing you need in a street fight,ive gone against BJJers around 120 lbs tap me out atleast 5 times within 2 minutes..

[GhostlySykanRyu]

Thought this article would apply a bit to your situation:

 

http://216.182.195.116/document_display.cfm?document_id=146

 

It's about diffusing a situation and getting ready to react, and it's a real quick read

[wc1978]

Thanks JeetKuneDo

 

It was a good article and something i will try to keep in mind.

[tufrthanu]

Well I am not a fan of the supposed "reality based" martial arts so some of what that article said I think is * but...I think what you fear isn't actually the person but the unknown circumstances. You should definitely take some sparring as that will get you used to fighting different people and get you used to using your techniques. And of course as hard as it is to do the most important thing to remember is to relax. Whether you end up fighting or not you will be much more effective if you are relaxed. If you use your hand strikes and leg strikes and all that stuff even if you are smaller you should have good odds on an opponent...especially if you dont announce before the fact that you know martial arts.

[wc1978]

I think you may have a point there tufrthanu, i think not knowing what the other person is capable of is a big part of it.

 

I will continue my sparring and training and hope for an improvement in my confidence.

[1kickKO]

My sensei taught me this...You should never put your opponent on the same level as you..ever. You are above your opponent...you are high, they are low. If you put your opponent ont he same level as you, you have a fight, and you do not want a fight, you want an easy, controllable situation..this applies to street fights or tournaments. Always assume you are going to win, and when you begin a fight, fight with everything you've got, heart, mind, body & spirit.

 

Expect to get hit, chances are in a real street fight this will happen, and you need to accept the fact that you can/will get hurt in the process, but never give any doubt. Think of a dog...they smell fear, they can sense it. If the dog knows you are afraid, they'll attack because they think you can't defend yourself. However, if you stare a dog straight in the eyes, and show no fear, the dog will sense that you are strong, and may back off. This applies to bullies/street fighters. They sense fear, it shows through body language/eye contact/verbal shaking. If they sense it, they'll attack. If they know you're willing to put up a good fight, they may back down, but if they do attack they might be a bit timid, giving you enough time to take advantage of the fight.

 

Now as for tournaments, everything I said above applies. However, you want to have fun with your opponent. You want to show them that you are not afraid...be friendly, and look confident. Normally fighters in comp go by what their opponent's appearance. Some questions they may ask themselves is "is he big?" "Does he look nervous?" "what rank is he?" these questions bring about a mental composition for your opponent to go by...so don't give htem reason to do this. Look calm, look confident, remember...all of these little things count. Don't look overly cool and too confident as to show cockiness, because this will give them more reason for wanting to beat you, but be sure to have fun. If yo get hit, bow and say "thank you"...because your opponent has now just shown you a weak point in your defense, which shows what you need work on, and you now have the knowledge to talk to your instructor and ask them how to make you better, so you'll be ready next time...I hope all of this has helped..kind of long, but I hoep it helps and good luck.

[ShirKhan]

Well, some people will find this silly and some people will find this golden:

 

Some Tiger styles practice growling as a psychological and diaphragmatic exercise. For instance. in a bag working session, the emphasis is to vary speed of movement from slow and tension-filled to light and fast attacks, while firming the stomach and growling, with the expectation that the growling is an energy gathering and focusing exercise. The mechanics are a firm abdomen, forcing air past the vocal chords, with the teeth clenched together the air is mostly expelled thru the nose while growling (sounds like HN! HN! HN! not RARRR or anything like that). The emphasis is NOT the sound you make or how loud it is, but the effect it has on you both psychologically and physically...physically the breath gradually escaping pressurizes in the lungs and promotes oxygenation, and psychologically encourages "explosiveness", but not endurance so much...it's better suited for people who want to finish an encounter in seconds rather than dance around for many minutes. Trying it for the first time, many people actually feel a little dizzy trying it at first because your blood O2 level goes way up...and after lengthy practice, the sloar plexus area actually may feel SORE because you are working your "core" to direct power. Experience for yourself, with practice you feel a definite "overcoming power" is the only way to describe it, psychologically and physically.

 

An unusual visualization exercise that works: Imagine you are a tiger or a lion hunting in tall grass. You are hidden and a deer walks right up to your nose. What size deer would you feel confident seizing and killing withoutit getting away? You may think, well, if a baby deer came by I could handle THAT...visualize the speed and explosiveness and commitment it would require to take that baby deer.

 

Having visualized this, work on the bag or spar with a partner, with no other thought than what it takes to take them out immediately...no dancing, no strategy, just the vague notion of seizing them before they can get away and putting them down with your most powerful, natural move. Take them out of the world so fast that there's a vacuum where they stood...at least, have this ideal in mind.

 

Further down the road...Visualize again, except you are taking down a larger animal, an adult deer. Now you can't just overwhelm it, you imagine it takes speed to surprise it, strength in your hands/claws to anchor it and keep it from escaping, maximum effort to knock it off balance and maximum powerstroke to put the animal down. Engage in sparring after this and niotice how you play the same emphasis on speed, but now you notice more that you are well rooted and your feet well planted, your powerstroke more methodical and businesslike. You have to put the meat on the table.

 

And again, a little further down...now imagine attacking an animal you have NO HOPE of taking down...for instance an enormous and enraged Kodiak bear. Mechanically you simply don't have the strength to put this enormous animal down, it will simply enwrap you in it's arms and kill you...BUT...if you attack it with enough ferocity and enough force, you may just drive it away. There is a definite feeling of "kamikaze" here...take it for granted you will not live, but perhaps you are saving a loved one standing right behind you...how much speed, force and ferocity can you impact the bear with before he kills you?

 

These type exercises are very influential on you psychologically, and you have to be careful not to go too far off balance. Sometimes people take things too far and start to believe they can knock anyone down, and people walk the streets only by their permission, if you know what I mean. It's said a balanced body balances the mind...stand on one leg, raise one knee, look straight upwards at the ceiling, and raise your hands as if you are crawling upwards...BUT in your mind, again visualize the lion or tiger actually crawling horizontally thru the grass (your body is actually in a vertical position)...as you imagine the cat crawling, move your other leg up and switch hands as if you are reaching for another handhold, your body appears to be reaching upward, but your visualization is that you are reaching forward, creeping through the grass... I hope I'm not making it confusing, I'm describing as best as I can this exercise that is very good for balance in the body AND getting your mind focused.

 

When you do face an intimidating opponent in sparring or in a defensive situation, there are two "gears" to the growling. First gear is when you are doing it unconsciously and it is just firming your abdomen, hyperoxygenating the blood, and making you feel physically stronger. The second gear is when you bring the psychological thing into play and you behave animalistically, such as when you see an opening and you take advantage of it forcefully, or there is a sudden attack and your fear brings the "animal" out, this is second gear and an explosion of power comes out. If a person who practices growling is surprised by someone coming around a corner, they may reflexively bend the fingers in a clawlike motion and their breath comes out in a soft "HNnnn..." without consciously choosing to do so. And my experience is, when these people are attacked, they often fight back in a way where they fight without thinking, and later afterwards discover they have executed complicated techniques they have practiced previously in their safe area...it not only accesses strength and aggressiveness, it accesses a different state of mind.

 

Sounds weird, but trust me it works for those who work it out and these are traditional exercises...if I'm not explaining well enough consult someone who practices traditional Northern Tiger or Black Tiger styles. Be careful you don't go growling around civilized people, they tend to be closed minded about that kind of thing...