dating type question here...long, but with good reason

[Mr. Mike]

I've been single for about a year and a half now, and with good reason...she took my car, stole half of the stuff at my business, and destroyed what she and her friends left of it. I should thank her though for giving me the kick I needed to get my life back in order and reestablish my prioritaaahs.

 

Anyway, I've moved on(with bitterness), but am for the better now. I've gone out and seen a couple of gals in the last year, but nothing really seems to work...maybe I'm too picky, or maybe I just don't want it right now, who knows? I feel like the little waggily tail guy in Shallow Hal...I keep finding character flaws in all the ladies I see. Some minor, some bad, like the 23 yr old I went out with who was EXTREMELY afraid of the dark??? OK, lights on all the time??? Not this guy. I can't sleep with them on. Imaturity, too drunk, too much of a tit, whines too much, too bichy, too much of a golddigger(wrong tree hunny!), every little thing you can think of, I've thought of and didn't want to deal with it.

 

Here's the problem:

 

There this girl that I work with(there always is, isn't there?), and I'm highly interested.

 

I guess when I say interested, it's because she's met all the criteria. THey are as follows: independant(isn't looking for a free ride, or doens't have daddy's wallet in her mouth), has kids(that last witch couldn't handle kids...she told me time and again that she isn't cut out for it, and even got downright abusive with them) which is a plus, has her own place and car(do I really need to elaborate here?), has a job(obviously) good looks and personality(when the hell does that happen?), we share similarities in backgrounds(she's traveled and seen things, not a small town hick, and other personal things that I'm too tired to go into right now), isn't afraid to speak her mind, is well spoken/articulate(I F'ING hate piss-poor grammar), we share similar interests, and one of the most important things that I look for, she's goal oriented(she has ambition, I can't tell you how sickening it is to live with somebody who only wants to sleep 15 hours a day and cruise the strip the rest of the time). She's also my age, which is hard to find around here...all I seem to find is girls 10 yrs younger than me, so this is a rare treat(again, maturity wise...it's amazing what 10 yrs will do for a woman).

 

Only thing is, I don't have much time to date. My typical schedule is like this:

 

5am, I get home and either catch up on some practice time or computer work til I get my kids up at 6:30 for school; I take my daughter to school at 8am and get to bed around 20min after that; I sleep till 3pm, get up, shower and my son gets off the bus at 3:30. I eat and at 3:50 my daughter has to be picked up from her school. Then we go to the Karate school at 4pm where I teach the 4:30 and sometimes the 5-6 class as well as other things that I need to do there. I then take the 6-7pm class and on thursdays and fridays I take the 7-8pm advance classes too. Then we go home and eat supper, the kids go to bed and I go to work at 9pm...then get off work and if you need to see the next day just start at the above paragraph again.

 

So, Like I said, I have no time...well, without sacrificing what is important to me. But, I don't want to have her wait(like I could if I tried, right?)and end up snoozing and losing. Thing is, I'll have more time in Sept. which is the date that I WILL test for my Black Belt and get all the phenomenal cosmic power/itty bitty lving space that comes along with it...namely recognition as a professional and full teaching credentials. It is unfair for me to ask her to just 'standby' till sept. but in the same respect, it would be unfair for me to see her very occaisionally until then.

 

Oh yeah, I should mention that she likes me too. One of the girls that we work with likes to play Devil's Advocate and let little info slip to me(and most likely the other way around if I know women well enough) that she is waiting for me to ask her out. She said she is going to ask me out to coffee(yes, gentlemen, this what 'old' people do for entertainment...sorry, no wild parties any more, so enjoy it while you can) one of these mornings, but was waiting for me to ask her out. So, SHould I go for it, and quit acting like a little damned 6th grader? Or put it on hold as I've done many other things lately?

 

Holy crap, I've written a book...and my high-school typing teacher said I would never type...all your typing teachers are belong to us!!

 

I guess bottom line is, what would you do in this position?

[kimura_guy]

If it was me.......by the way, how old are ya?.....anywho, I would ask her out, and explain to her that you have a full schedule, but you would like to see her. If she cant see you occasionally and wait to see you more when you have time, then is she really worth it? I think if she really likes you, then she will see you occasionally till you have more time. But Ive been married for 9 years, and I've been out of the "dating" scene for awhile, so, I might actually know very little.

 

Just my 2 cents

 

KG

[RaidenTB]

I say go for it.

 

Grab that cup of coffee, talk... If you two really like each other, you'll be able to work something out. Plus - september is a little less than a year away. Huh, thats a lot of time... Give her a chance, she might understand, she might even come up with a solution you haven't tought of.

 

And ask yourself what you want... What is more important to you at the moment?

[Mr. Mike]

yeah, I'm going to give it a shot. My biggest issue is that I know I'll get a yes, and I feel like I'm jumping into cold water...kinda scares me.

 

thanks for the advice.

[kimura_guy]

Anytime, good luck and keep us posted on how it goes.

 

KG

[aefibird]

Go for it!! Even if you haven't got much spare time to spend together (and you won't have as you both have kids) then you could meet up for coffee at lunchtime or have breakfast out together one weekend. If you both like one-another then you'll find the time to see each other.

 

Good luck!!

[Mr. Mike]

So, her car wouldn't start this morning, and I asked her if she had a ride...she asked if I would stick around for a bit just in case...well, why wouldn't I???

 

it turned out to be her battery. So, I gave her car a jump, and I asked her about coffee this morning. She said she was sorry, but she couldn't. So I told her that I was't kidding with what I said about dinner earlier last night(she's scheduled constantly, and I told her that she makes it extremely difficult for a guy to take to dinner. She said, 'I know' and turned all kinds of red and proceeded to go on rounds).

 

So, she fianlly said that she would be taking a few days off soon, and I thought she was totally brushing me off. Then she said, 'well, I guess you want my number?' OF COURSE!!! I told her why not, I mean that seems to be the logical progression. So she proceeded to write it down, and I asked if she was busy tonight, and she said 'no, give me a call'

 

WHHOOTT!!! SCORE!

 

So, then she says 'I was wondering when you were going to stop playing around with all the flirting, and just ask.' Hoo boy....

 

She was getting bugged by all the girls there about asking me out, and she just wasn't going to because the last time she did that, the guy totally blew her off and avoided her...so I said, "I don't think I could avoid you if I wanted..." she just smiled, and thanked me for getting her car running. And I said I would call her tonight...she said she'll be waiting.

 

All I wanted for Xmas was my 2 front teeth...I got a whole lot more.

 

btw, not that it matters, but she studied some Kenpo, and is quite good on her feet from what I can tell with the bit of goofing off that we get into once in a while...the girls all call me things like 'Michael-san' and karate kid...they give me good ribbing.

 

ok...we go from here.

 

thanks guys.

[aefibird]

Good luck!