Things to avoid doing in a Dojo

[elliotspirrett]

Screaming like Bruce Lee.

 

Attempting the "5 Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique".

 

Ask if your sensei could take on other martial artists and fictional characters; Superman, Jackie Chan etc.

 

Try to attack with a fireball a la streetfighter!

 

Ask "Why? Whats the point?"

 

Sing "Kung foo fighting".

 

Test other's defences by attacking at random.

 

Complain that certain moves look better done by the likes of Jet Li.

 

Any others would be welcome!

[ncole_91]

Test other's defences by attacking at random.

 

Test your instructors defence by attacking him randomly. Grab a bokken and strat hitting him with it (bad idea)

[AngelaG]

Start pestering your instructor about when you will learn the Crane Kick.

 

Start screaming "No Mercy" as your kiai!

 

Start talking out of synch with your lips like you are in some badly dubbed Japanese MA movie.

 

For cross trainers - point out after every demo how your other instructor did it differently and you thought his way was better... AND he was a higher grade so he should know.

 

Make strange "WHOOOOOR" noises every time you move.

 

Point out that you all should get guns as they are better than any Martial Art.

 

Look mystically at your instructor, nod wisely and say, "You will learn one day, Grasshopper!".

 

Fail to look as though a technique is hurting you when doing partner work. This guarantees that the instructor will come up to show them how to do it, using you as the dummy.

 

Every time your instructor asks you a question reply, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you!".

 

Turn up to your traditional dojo with a Union Jack gi, a Japanese flag bandana tied around your head and a camoflage belt.

 

Bring in a group of your mates to be cheerleaders as you do your kata.

 

Tell your instructor that you wanted it to be more like a real life street encounter, so you turned up in street clothes, reeking of alcohol.

 

Eat your dinner half an hour before coming in on the day the instructor decides that the warm up mainly consists of stomach crunches and leg raises whilst he runs across your stomach.

 

Point to all the high grades' belts in a sneering manner and say, "Where did you buy that then? Mr Pound?"

 

Stand in the middle of the dojo and declare yourself undefeatable.

[Gumbi]

Stand in the middle of the dojo and declare yourself undefeatable.

 

How do you think BJJ got started

[Goju 4 Life]

Definitely wanna avoid stepping on that sticky resdue left behind after a few sets of situps. *cringes*

 

Avoid being in the way when farting accours during stretches.

[karatekid1975]

Doing a kihap (kiai) that sounds like a dead cat or a mouse that got stepped on ..... then again if you want a good laugh out of the others you would

 

I like this thread. Come on all. I know you got stuff you did in the dojang that you weren't supposed to (or thought about hehehehehehe). Lets have some fun

[elliotspirrett]

I think this should be the forum for the most embarrasing thing done in a dojo.

 

We have a guy who occsionally farts to his timeing of his sit-ups, which is funny because our only female blackbelt, always stands next to him. She far from thanks him for it.

 

Thankfully I've never embarassed myself too much...still there's always time!

[Gloi]

I was at a grading recently and the green belts were in the room being graded when one of them , a boy of about 7 ,was violently and suddenly sick all over the floor. The adult woman green belt next to him went to help him out of the room and he was sick again all down her pants and over her feet . Yuk. The grading had to stop while it all was cleaned up. On the way to the toilet he was sick again in the corridor.

 

We had to mop it all up before we could carry on.

 

Then when it was cleaned up the place stank of sick so one kid found an air freshener. They sprayed it all over the place rather liberally and sprayed it in my face as they ran past me which gave me an asthma attack.

 

Then to top it all a couple of kids completely forgot their forms and started bawling their eyes out.

 

Then I had to grade and I was still trying to recover from being sprayed with air freshener so I coughed and wheezed all through my grading and I'm sure the examiner thought I was about to die on him.

 

All in all an eventful day - I still passed though

[June1]

What a disaster!!!

 

Glad you passed, though!

[elliotspirrett]

Bloody.....Hell.....

 

That sounds like something from a Monty Python sketch, or Mr Bean...