Talkative karate friends vs learning karate!

[angelica d]

I've just read Ti's thread about disrespectful students, and it made me think of a similar problem that I've encountered.

 

However, in this case, the person involved is a good friend of mine - makes things a little more complicated. It's not that they're intentionally rude, they just talk NON STOP throughout the class, and this gets really annoying for me when we're doing partner work. I end up interrupting them with a loud 'JODAN!' followed by as slow punch (has to be slow because usually they're still not concentrating!)

 

Also, this person has a habit of complaining to the sensei that certain techniques 'don't work' for them - its so embarrassing!

 

Outside of the dojo we get on really well, and I try not to show my frustration in case they take it personally (this person is incredibly sensitive). I don't want to fall out, I just want to be able to get on with my karate!

 

So I was wondering, do any of you have any advice? It seems to my that I can either suffer in silence, tell this person to be quiet, or ask my sensei if he can partner me with someone else (don't really want to do this in case the person finds out I've gone behind their back). Any other options anyone can think of?

 

Cheers guys!

[Rick]

Perhaps u could tell them that u think the sensei doesn't like it when she talks all the way thru the class??? Maybe she'll appreciate that and keep quiet. I don't know, sorry mate.

 

Rick

[gcav]

Your best bet is to just talk to your friend outside the dojo. Just sit 'em down and explain what the problem is. Do not get emotional (mad) and really "talk" with each other. Tell them that you two can talk all day long outside the dojo, but when you are there, you are there to train, not talk. If you "suffer in silence" the problem will only get worst as your frustration builds up over time. And then, one day it will just boil over and you will have a bigger mess than if you handle it now. If you are close friends they should understand.

[White Warlock]

gcav's approach is good, and it would be the route i would take. But if that is something you really don't feel comfortable doing, and believe it would create an irreparable rift between you two, then you might want to talk to your instructor... explain the situation from your perspective and ask him to talk to your friend, or the class as a whole, addressing the issue... without bringing attention to you. If i were your instructor, I would gladly take the lead on that and courteously, but bluntly tell the 'entire' class to be quiet and focus whenever i saw your friend chattering. If the chatter continued, i would do it again, more firmly. If it continued beyond that, i would direct my comment 'at' the problem person(s).

 

And, on that note... i find it odd that your instructor hasn't already done what i noted above. Then again, maybe your instructor is trying to encourage you to, "come out of your shell," as it were, by leaving you alone in your predicament.

 

As to the slow punch, i would say... don't do that. Don't undermine your training to accomodate your partner's failure to 'pay attention.' All you are doing, is encouraging him/her to continue doing exactly what you don't him/her to do. And, if the punch makes contact, and he/she complains... simply respond with, "pay attention then."

[47MartialMan]

gcav's approach is good, and it would be the route i would take. But if that is something you really don't feel comfortable doing, and believe it would create an irreparable rift between you two, then you might want to talk to your instructor... explain the situation from your perspective and ask him to talk to your friend, or the class as a whole, addressing the issue... without bringing attention to you. If i were your instructor, I would gladly take the lead on that and courteously, but bluntly tell the 'entire' class to be quiet and focus whenever i saw your friend chattering. If the chatter continued, i would do it again, more firmly. If it continued beyond that, i would direct my comment 'at' the problem person(s).

 

And, on that note... i find it odd that your instructor hasn't already done what i noted above. Then again, maybe your instructor is trying to encourage you to, "come out of your shell," as it were, by leaving you alone in your predicament.

 

As to the slow punch, i would say... don't do that. Don't undermine your training to accomodate your partner's failure to 'pay attention.' All you are doing, is encouraging him/her to continue doing exactly what you don't him/her to do. And, if the punch makes contact, and he/she complains... simply respond with, "pay attention then."

 

Nice point/post.

 

I had a instructor that would do nothing out of fear of loosing the customer, er student.

[White Warlock]

I had a instructor that would do nothing out of fear of loosing the customer, er student.

The 'quantity over quality' mentality, eh?

[47MartialMan]

Yeah, it's a shame that some are in the Martial Art Teaching Business, instead of the business of Teaching Martial Arts

[AngelaG]

As to the slow punch, i would say... don't do that. Don't undermine your training to accomodate your partner's failure to 'pay attention.' All you are doing, is encouraging him/her to continue doing exactly what you don't him/her to do. And, if the punch makes contact, and he/she complains... simply respond with, "pay attention then."

 

I totally agree 100%. While you come in with a slow punch you are training your friend that she does not need to pay attention to avoid getting punched. One day she may come up against a training partner who is not so 'generous' and will get slammed in the face. Perhaps if you come in fast and hard she may actually shut up, as she will have to concentrate to make sure she is not hit.

 

I'm surprised the instructor hasn't said anything. There's nothing worse than someone that won't shut up while you are trying to teach. Also, it's not like it's just affecting her own learning. You are training your body to hit slow, and she must be ruining the class' concentration?

[47MartialMan]

Whats far worse than someone not shutting up is for a instructor in letting it continue

[RaidenTB]

My first question to you was - does she chat up only you or other people in the class as well? But it might not even matter. In any case she obviously thinks, that it's ok for her to do that. And that's because nobody made it clear for her that what she does is actually very annoying and disturbing for other people in the class. If you noticed that it annoys others too, your instructor should be the first in line to warn her about it. Next obvious question would be - why hasn't he done that...?

 

A nice point would also be, that changing your partner for pair work is actually a good thing. For her and for you.

 

I don't think you've been doing her a favour with being quiet about the issue. Sensitive or not - if you're her friend, well, take a deep breath and tell her about what's bothering you. It's bad enough you've waited this long. I think it's better she hears it from you, than from someone else. If you send the instructor to talk to her about it - well, who do you think she'll come crying to? At some point, you'll have to talk to her. The sooner the better. Be nice, but also be honest. If she's really your friend, she'll understand and make an effort...