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Disrepectful member in my shotokan dojo


Ti

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he sounds like he has little control over the class. For a teacher...ANY teacher of others..this is not a good thing.

 

True, but hang on a second.

 

It sounds like the Sensei's legal title is "Advisor", meaning he doesn't have real power. From what Ti says, it sounds like he does have control over the rest of the class and he has earned their respect. Some people are just plain irrational, and this lady seems to think that since he's not "technically" in charge, he can't tell her what to do. I'm sure you (Shorinryu Sensei) and many others who have trained/taught for a long time have met people who just cannot be reasoned with. It happens, unfortunately.

Passion transcends pain.

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First, without being there, is there a problem or conflict between you and her? Do others feel the way you do. Or has others feel the need to complain?

 

Well if the "sensei" can't tell her "what-to-do", then he shouldnt "instruct", i.e. the word "instruct". If I was the sensei, and I had seen this, I would not instruct her. Is the instructor "bonded by legal obligation" to teach or teach her? Can he make it miserable for her to leave. A disruption in the class is not excusable and should not be tolerated. Forget ignoring because there is a "principal" behind this.

 

But, make sure to continue to let the instructor know and see what HE does about it. Do not take HIS role. Perhaps get other students whom feel this way and talk to the instructor via a group session.

 

What be miserable when practice should be enjoyable?

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I'm going to have to go with 47MM on this one. Your instructor is dropping the ball in this case. It's either that or we're not getting the whole story. I've had to ask people to leave my class and not come back. It's not fun, but I did it to protect the rest of the class. In the immortal words of Spock, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." ;)

A block is a strike is a lock is a throw.

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If I were you, and assuming the other people in the dojo feel the same I'd get together and agree to totally ignore her. Refuse to talk to her, don't partner up with her etc. Eventually she will realise that with her current attitide she is not welcome, and will either have to buck up, or leave. If she won't respect the dojo and its members then why should you respect her? It's a two way street!

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Sometimes being nice and tolerant just don't work. Your instructor is not doing anything. its time for some of the female senior members of the dojo

 

to "work" with her. If the wheel squeeks too much it needs oil. Have a senior pair up with her for sparring class. :brow:

 

Either she gets the point real quick and learns or she will get frustrated and leave. I'm not talking about giving her a thrashing, just a little something to show her she has much to learn and has a long way to go before she has any bussiness opening her mouth. :wink:

 

A slice of humble pie....... yum... yum!!!

Pain is only temporary, the memory of that pain lasts a lifetime.

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During the first job I ever had I worked with a guy named Ben that was very annoying. I eventually left that job and Ben became my roommate, very very annoying guy.

 

Later, Ben became my brother in law and was as annoying as ever.

 

You may not have picked this up, but Ben isn't the same person in all of these examples. Ben is the example of any annoying person I've come across. It wasn't until I figured out how to deal with Ben that he eventually wasn't in my life anymore. The problem was partially on my part because I wasn't patient at all.

 

Your stated your sensei is very good. Trust in him to handle the situation properly and concentrate on your training.

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Dont be nice or tolerant, don't establish her existence. She's a child looking for a ttention, and if its negative attetion so be it. Just by the you described her Id say she had ocd ( opositional difiance disorder) which means she'll always choose what annoys you. If you ignore her completely, if if shes poking yah in the eye, eventually her need to belong will kick in, or she'll leave as she won't feel like she's getting the attetion she wants.

 

If shes behaving like a child treat her like a child, the problem only exists because people have let it get this far. You follow the djo's rules, get that guy who she chit chats too to follow the rules (ie. don't let him switch spots) Make her feel like an aoutcast plain and simple.

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ofd????? Is that supposed to be a genuine disorder? I'm so glad that I didn't follow the psychology trail any further than two years in college. I'd hate to think that I was one of the guys sitting around making up names to give people an excuse for being annoying or obnoxious. Although .... they have come up with drugs for many of these so-called conditions, maybe they'll find a miracle drug for annoying a**holes. Hmmmm .. what do you think? 8)

A block is a strike is a lock is a throw.

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