somebody yells comments at you

[dear john]

I was walking home and a group of 5 guys starting yelling comments at me. I kept walking because i thought it would be foolish to attack 5 people.

 

a few weeks later, i spotted one of them and i walked up to him and talked to him in a calm voice. the words i used were a little threatening. it was very clear that i had succeeded in frightening him. if he would have attacked me directly after this, who would be at fault?

 

me or him

[White Warlock]

sticks and stones may break my bones?

 

Personally, i saw no reason for you to approach the lone one with hostility, when you weren't willing to approach the five of them. What's to prevent the 5 of them from meeting up again, and this time escalating from words... to sticks and stones?

 

I'm not quite sure what it is you are asking of us? I mean, you're doing twenty things wrong, and then asking if the final outcome falls on your lap or theirs. How about working to not get to the final outcome in the first place?

 

Five guys yelling things at you. What is it they were yelling? Where were you? Was it a path normally taken? What were you wearing? Do you know these guys? Is it necessary for you to travel that route? When you saw the lone figure, after the fact, what motivated you to approach him? Spite? What did you say to him when you did talk to him? Did you, at any time, consider changing your tone and turning him into a friend? A means to deescalate things, rather than potentially escalate?

 

Things to consider.

[Shorinryu Sensei]

I was walking home and a group of 5 guys starting yelling comments at me. I kept walking because i thought it would be foolish to attack 5 people.

 

Well..yeah! Only a fool would take on 5 people alone if they didn't have to.

a few weeks later, i spotted one of them and i walked up to him and talked to him in a calm voice. the words i used were a little threatening. it was very clear that i had succeeded in frightening him. if he would have attacked me directly after this, who would be at fault?

 

me or him

 

I agree with WW on what he said. You should have left well enough alone at that point. Talking to the one guy alone, and as you said, in a threatening manner, is adding gasoline on top of a smouldering fire. You just set yourself up for more trouble the next time the 5 guys are together and see you again. There's an old saying..."Strength in numbers". Individually, they may not want to mess with you, but the "pack" has strength of numbers and support from each otehr. They will feed off of each other, and the situation will be escalated.

 

As WW said...Sticks and stones...words may sting a bit, but that's better than a butt-whippin'!

[Red J]

I kept walking because i thought it would be foolish to attack 5 people.

 

YAH.....or have 5 people attack you.

 

As far as you approaching the other guy, there is an old saying that if you look for trouble you will find it. My advice is to not look for it.

[CloudDragon]

You left well enough alone. Just don't forget that while you may have intimidated one person alone, what happens when he tells his friends? As far as another attack, who cares? Fighting a person belonging to a pack is useless because it will never end, let it go.

[GhostlySykanRyu]

If you choose to avoid or to attack, that is up to you, but no matter your path you must be persistant and you must act quickly. Actions speak louder than words, if it comes to combat give them no time and if you're outnumbered, no mercy.

 

Ehm...or you could poke them with road flares. They hate that, trust me.

[Luckykboxer]

if he would have attacked you at that point you would have been just as guilty as he was in the eyes of the law.

 

because you went out of your way to approach and confront the person.

 

If you had just been walking and he came after you thats a different story, but you cannot go and confront a person directly and get into a fight and claim that sicne he threw the first punch that you were innocent.

 

As a matter of fact the guy could have said he had no idea what you were talking about and could have said he felt threatened by you and felt you were attacking him and he could have possibly claimed self defense... he would have had a better claim on it then you would have anyways[/code]

[Rick]

I agree with everyone else here - just leave well enough alone...

 

And yeah, road flares suck.

 

Rick

[wrestlingkaratechamp]

Where I come from, if 5 guys are saying something and you don't do anything, you're looked at as if you're a well, I can not say it in this forum. You get the idea. You got to stand up for yourself, where would you be if you didn't?

[White Warlock]

Where I come from, if 5 guys are saying something and you don't do anything, you're looked at as if you're a well, I can not say it in this forum. You get the idea. You got to stand up for yourself, where would you be if you didn't?

Alive?!?

 

In some of the places i was brought up in, came from, whatever, if you walked up to 5 guys that are calling you names, a bodybag would be your new coveralls.

 

The thing to truly understand here is that if you 'react' to words, you are giving 'them' power over you. Five total strangers, and here you are giving them a leash connected to the collar around your emotions. Be ready to bark, rollover... and in the end, play dead.