Guest Posted July 23, 2004 Posted July 23, 2004 The Top 13 Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School 13> Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target. 12> First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully. 11> Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his spilled pocket protector. 10> The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars" are just slices of old cheese. 9> The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie. 8> The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of the Three Stooges. 7> Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop quizzes" in dark alleys. 6> Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor. 5> Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to end. 4> Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does not exist in this dojo!" 3> You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying to tie your belt on. 2> Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the neighbors when he moved in. and the Number 1 Sign You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School... 1> Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a can of whoop-*" on someone?
dratix Posted July 26, 2004 Posted July 26, 2004 ha hah "Give me back my sandals or i'm keeping your nephew's hamster..."- Bruce Lee
angelica d Posted August 12, 2004 Posted August 12, 2004 I don't know why - I must be in a silly mood today - but that 'cheese throwing star' one just cracks me up! "Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals . . . except the weasel."- Homer J Simpson
Rotten Head Fok Posted August 15, 2004 Posted August 15, 2004 You must be stable and balanced in your foot work, if you have to use your martial knowledge in combat, your intent should be to win. If you do strike, you must release great power! The martial arts are easy to learn, but difficult to correct.
Mu Ryuk Posted August 18, 2004 Posted August 18, 2004 Wow...that was random and pointless. Naturally I loved it Dratix - Bruce Lee never said "Give me back my sandals or I'm keeping your nephews hamster." Bruce wouldnt do that Passion transcends pain.
47MartialMan Posted September 11, 2004 Posted September 11, 2004 How about: * When the mats are someome's old and thrown out carpet foam. * The mirrors are sheets of aluminum foil * The instructors best move is on your mother or girlfriend * The door welcome mat says "Welcome to Jeff's Tavern"
gcav Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Funny. Train like your life depends on it....Because it does.
LiTtLeDrAgOn Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Um.....Bruce lee was walking through a Desert one day........He was very hott and tired......When he got to the end of the Desert wat did he say? WAT-TAH!!!!!!!!! A wise man once said..."Courage is not the abstinence of fear. It is what is done when the emotion of fear is present....That is courage my friend" -Jordan Galendiez
47MartialMan Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Cute....but the thread is about signs you are in the wrong martial art school. Just like YOU are in the wrong thread. Heck, we are all guilty of "cross threading"
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