UK big brother 2004

[Drunken Monkey]

well, my three little lines was a general thing, to give an idea of how i expect people to treat me and how i treat people.

 

(and notice that i do say that 'i can'...)

 

i do not shout at you, threaten you or hit you.

 

just i expect you to not shout, threaten or hit me.

 

i still say taht if a person has crossed any of those boundaries then i think they should be aware of the consequences.

 

(bare in mind that hitting back does not taking her head off with an uppercut....)

 

like i said, i just wanted to throw this whole thing up for debate.....

 

something else just came to mind.

 

i am a small guy.

 

probably smaller than the female agressor (or maybe the same size).

 

what if it were me in that situation?

 

(assuming that i am one to stand up to confrontations as the male was/is)

 

i'm sure that cos i was smaller, she'd be more inclined to strike at me (or actually, maybe not...).

 

would i be right in hitting back?

 

(assuming that i didn't have x years of kung fu training under my hat..... hmm, does that make a difference?)

[Bart the Lover]

DLopez wrote:

Interesting point of view, however, the one thing I probably wasn't clear about, was that I am physically bigger than her - it wasn't like I couldn't defend myself. Imagine her throwing a punch (no joke!!), and me blocking it and her hurting her hand. How easy would it be for her to say I hurt her hand and the authorities would have no problem believing it.

 

In the eyes of the law and society, I would have been portrayed the abuser in a typical "guy beats girl" spousal abuse case, not a woman abusing a guy.

 

I think cases of the latter are extremely few and far between for a reason.

 

Yes, hitting her back would be a consequence. But so would going to the

 

police (arguably a worse consequence).

 

Whenever people hear of female on male abuse, they think: But he could

 

hit her back! How can this be?! Hence the rather unsympathetic attitude

 

of most people. But when people hear of male on female abuse, they

 

never seem to think: But she could go to the police! How can this be?!

 

These are both consequences that for whatever reason don't generally

 

happen. And the abusing partner knows this. Not only are they not

 

punished, they are rewarded--because the abused doesn't leave.

 

And many women are capable of hitting back, if only they knew it. This

 

absurd notion that women are completely defenceless children against

 

any male between the ages of sixteen to about sixty leads to them taking

 

crap they shouldn't.

 

I am NOT saying men should hit their partners if they themselves are hit.

 

It's better simply to leave. Report it to the police, too, depending on the

 

severity. This applies to men and women equally. You say the police would

 

assume you were the aggressor and treat you accordingly. I can't speak

 

for the US, but where I am from it wasn't that long ago that violence in the

 

home was treated either as a joke, or as a private matter. The authorities

 

took nothing to do with it. I don't recognise this female Utopia where a

 

man is punished severly if he lifts a finger against a woman, but where

 

she is free to beat him. It's only recently that rape in marriage was even

 

recognised as a crime. Some Utopia.

 

Having said that, women are violent. Why should that surprise anyone? I

 

don't agree that it is rare. We just don't hear about it. Again, I can't speak

 

for the US, but over here, when you ask people for their experiences

 

rather than rely on reported crime, a quite different picture emerges. Not

 

only do men report attacks from wives/girlfriends, but violence is reported

 

in all manner of personal relationships. There is violence in gay

 

relationships, both male and female. Elderly parents report abuse from

 

their adult children. It isn't simply that 'women are violent too'. Human

 

beings are violent, unfortunately. We think of it as a male problem

 

because generally it is young men who get drunk and fight and make a

 

nuisance of themselves in city centres. But that's only one form of

 

violence.

 

 

 

Anyway, what I wanted to clarify was: there is reliable evidence that both

 

sexes are abusive and bullying to one another in their private

 

relationships. Both sexes, when questioned, come up with the same lame

 

excuses. The vast majority of these wouldn't dream of hitting their

 

colleagues or a stranger. There would be consequences: they would be

 

sacked, reported to the police, hit back, or all three. And I believe they do

 

it because they want a convenient human punchbag to take all their anger

 

and frustration out on. It's as simple as that. That explains why it gets

 

worse over time--they have to inflict worse damage to get the same

 

feeling of satisfaction. Sorry if this sounds a bit brutal with regard to your

 

experiences, DLopez.

 

God, I'm depressed now. I think I'll become a hermit.

 

Fenris-wolf wrote:

Well, Bart the Lover, (nice name BTW )

 

Why, thank you! *Blushes, bats eyelashes coyly*

 

Regards,

 

Bart the Lover