I only want to date boys who do martial arts.

[Beka]

Is that weird?

 

I'm not talking about dojo-cest, cause that's bad news. I can't date people I go to normal school with, let alone something as intimate and physically demanding as karate class. So that's not an issue.

 

I just want someone who won't give me trouble when I can't hang out with him because I've got to go to karate class. I have a friend who is a black belt in ueichi-ryu (did i spell that right?), and when we hang out, we do kata together, he shows me some of his moves, I show him some of mine. We discuss the advantages and disadvantages of our styles, we make karate movies and we do a slow, weird, sometimes drunk, kind of sparring. Basically, we do karate together, we discuss the issues together, and we both understand each others' dedication. I'm not looking to make this guy a boyfriend, but those are some things I'm looking for in a man.

 

I was dating this one guy a while back and he kept giving me lip about it. I have class from 6-7, then I have to take the bus all the way home, then shower, then I would be able to hang out after that. He kept asking me why we had to meet so late, and why I had to go to my practice. I was so confused because I didn't understand how he could even ask that question. To me, asking 'well, why can't you skip it?' is hardly a string of words I can put together. There *are* days when I can't make it to class (give me a break, I'm in 18 units in college right now), but a guy will *never* be picked over karate, unless there was a VERY good reason (like, our wedding or something). He's welcome to come with me of course, but I just can't do something as frivolous as act flirty and do my hair for some dude, in place of something that takes so much real work.

 

Yesterday I was at the wushu tournament at UC Berkeley, and I'll be honest, I was checkin' out guys. Yes, I was watching the contest, too, but I couldn't help but notice a few of them and think how irresitable I found them with their little foil swords and flippy-kicks.

 

I'm on that permanent quest to find someone who understands me. And right now, a big part of understanding me is knowing why I have to wake up early Saturday mornings for kata class. I want someone I can do karate with, someone who won't think I'm crazy for loving it so much. I want someone who can understand just how special this is to me, someone who won't get in the way of it, and someone who won't be insulted, mainly because it means so much to him, too. It's one thing to say 'oh, i understand' it's another to be actually involved. I want someone I can share this with.

 

Ah... I'm so mushy. Well, I just felt like venting a bit in a forum I felt it fit in. Thanks.

[ramymensa]

I lost 2 boyfriens because of that. Guess it's not such a loss at all

 

Someday you'll find HIM, the man who understands or at least respects your choice.

[White Warlock]

Is this where i'm supposed to toss out my a/s/l ?

 

Who knows, i might get lucky and pick up a fine young martial arts lady, eh?

 

Sorry.. can't help but laugh. It's just funny to hear about women scoping out the men at competitions. Reversal of roles and all.

 

I do understand the logic. Many men deal with 'manliness' insecurities and find a woman that can beat the crap out of them... intimidating, so instead of learning how to fight, they try to convince the woman to quit. Not all men are like that, but enough.

 

And then, there are the ones who simply don't share your interests. I know one woman i was with that pushed me out of aikido practice, because she argued that i cared more for the arts than i did her. To speak honestly, i resented her for my decision. Eventually i ended that relationship. Someone else's insecurities or selfishness shouldn't hamper your own personal growth.

[Ironberg]

Say what you want about the "reversal of roles" WW - personally, I find it very difficult to find any ladies who are interesting in things like Karate.

 

One gal I had a keen interest in - it never worked out because her family seemed to make it virtually impossible to ask her out. Today, she is getting better and better at her art. I found it amusing to see her kicking some 19 yr. old dude's butt at gym in sparring - even though the guy was initially holding back (she's 16). She was kicking him in the head and all - I was laughing so hard inside that I almost got a mouthful of knuckles from my younger sparring partner.

[Rich_2k3]

Girls and martial arts are a good mix...

[Ironberg]

Perhaps it's just the idea that the gal won't think anything less of you because you are passinate about Martial Arts, but actually like you better because that's who you are. It's kinda like the gal doesn't have to play football to like the guy who's very good at it.

 

In the case of martial arts, it's just kinda assuring to be friends with a gal who also likes martial arts for the simple reason that she does it herself. It's a common bond that way.

 

I sure hope what I just contributed isn't off-topic. It was more directed at Rich2k3.

[Mc. Steve]

Rich_2k3, it's all about the flexability

 

Beka, as you're postin it here, I can only assume your lookin here. I'll just go grab a plane ticket....

 

But honestly, I don't think you need to limit yourself to Martial Artists. A guy should make you change your lifestyle for him, and MA's are part of who you are.

 

Oh, and if you did date a martial artists you might see eachother even less if his lessons are on different days.

 

Anyhoo. I'll be quiet.

 

S

[TheDevilAside]

Hm, I don't see why a guy would throw a fit because you were away for maybe 2 hours during the day.

but a guy will *never* be picked over karate, unless there was a VERY good reason (like, our wedding or something).

There shouldn't be a reason to pick either over your guy or your karate, but, speaking for myself, it wouldn't make me feel too great that my girl would only skip karate class if it were my birthday, otherwise I just wasn't worth it. What if I wanted to take you out on a nice date, I made the reservations and everything, and it would only work on one of the days you had Karate... you could skip just once, couldn't you?

 

Just, if and when you are considering getting married or are in a very serious relationship, make a mental list of your would-be priorities. If Karate is #1 and your husband is #2, the marriage probably won't last very long.

 

 

I do understand the logic. Many men deal with 'manliness' insecurities and find a woman that can beat the crap out of them... intimidating, so instead of learning how to fight, they try to convince the woman to quit.

 

Yeah, first of all, guys shouldn't be worrying if they're strong enough to beat their significant other in a fight, they should be worrying whether they're strong enough to protect them.

 

Anyway, don't limit yourself to only guys that are martial artists. For a while, I didn't want a girl who didn't do martial arts either.. but I found one that doesn't, and I could never have asked for more in a person. But, I'm not sure if she really counts.. since she's wanting to take kickboxing and loved (still does, actually) the TV Show Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ..okay, sorry for bragging.

[monkeygirl]

I moved this to General Martial Arts...

 

Keep in mind, even guys who do MA and should understand your commitment to your style, may not like you going to class. Maybe they want to be the only practitioner in the relationship, maybe they want to have some kind of power over you, or maybe you just intimidate them (a common problem for martial arts women ). Maybe they have serious rivalry/competition issues.

 

However, I think most MA men would be understanding. And of course, there's something undeniably attractive about a skilled male martial artist who shares the MA addiction.

 

Plus, they can get pretty buff. Have you seen Ernie Reyes Jr. in "The Rundown" (with the Rock)? For that matter, have you seen Ernie Reyes Jr.?? *whistles*

 

[G Money Slick]

I started cracking up just reading the title of this topic. I've never really considered kickboxing a martial art myself. Martial Arts are designed to give the practitioner inner peace and harmony. I would consider it simply a full contact sport.