ZR440 Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 I'd like to know what the benefits are. It's happy hour somewhere in the world.
Ironberg Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 To loyalty/commitment or otherwise?? "An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a civilized conversation over a bowl of... Cocoa Puffs."
ZR440 Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 Otherwise. What exactly are the benefits to being married? How do they outweigh the pros of being single? Pretend you are a salesperson trying to sell the concept of marriage to me. It's happy hour somewhere in the world.
Ironberg Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 The way you were raised, you personal ethics, and the way you've grown accostomed to looking at women are going to effect what you think about marriage. I'm not going to be able to convince you to commit to marriage, etc. It is your job to look for the final answers to this age-old question. Marriage never appears to pay off because of universal fear of commitment because of immaturity in many adults. Also, many younger people have too high an ideal of marriage that will never happen. In addition, the average person's ideas of commitment are so filled with paradox that it doesn't hold true meaning. Because of the reciprocal relationship between man and women - it is first the man's responsibility that a marriage is successful in the long run first, then the woman's responsibility to react to this. Marriage is a bitter sweet journey, sometimes more bitter, but the factor remains that they would have felt incomplete apart, and lesser individuals without each other. Respect for each other also plays a part in the long run - and estabilishing the fact of this respect prematurely in the relationship, I theorize, will wreck it in the long run. Many of these ideas stem from my Christian beliefs, but for some it is also important the similar religion play a part in building a successful home. In retrospect, I'm probably the last person to be giving a lecture about marriage. The fact remains that I've never had a girlfiend (until now, but she is more of a friend, than a "girlfrield"), and am incapable of supporting a wife at this stage of my life. Did I also mention my young age (18 )? "An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a civilized conversation over a bowl of... Cocoa Puffs."
WolverineGuy Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 I'm umarried with a child and live-in girlfriend...I'm definitely not one to give advice on this one. Wolverine1st Dan - Kalkinodo"Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a q-tip""There is no spoon."
Ironberg Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 Being a young, inexperienced but compassionate guy, here it goes: I personally hope for the woman's and child's sake that you decide to commit soon. Best of luck to you and congrats nontheless. "An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a civilized conversation over a bowl of... Cocoa Puffs."
ZR440 Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 So, Ironberg, your answer is that the benefit of being married is feeling complete or one with each other. It wasn't a bad answer considering your age, but I need a better sales pitch than that. As far as the responsibilities go for making it work, both need to contribute throughout. It's not a one way street. No slackers are allowed. Wolverine Guy, sometimes I wonder if that's the better route to go. It's happy hour somewhere in the world.
WolverineGuy Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 We're committed. Neither of us are going anywhere. When she got pregnant, it was a rather new relationship...so we decided that getting married JUST because she was pregnant was foolish, which it was. Now, we're just too darned poor to afford a wedding. However, I do plan on it. It has nothing to do with our child, its simply the fact that I love her. That's what it should be anyways. Wolverine1st Dan - Kalkinodo"Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a q-tip""There is no spoon."
Ironberg Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 As far as the responsibilities go for making it work, both need to contribute throughout. It's not a one way street. No slackers are allowed. Perhaps I should have restated my thoughts with - no one carries the heavier load, but many times it seems true from what I've seen around me that the husband is initially responsible for making marriage successful. We're not talking about wives who betray their husbands, we're talking about a couple honestly trying to make things work. One of the biggest mistakes in marriage is putting in 50/50 (picked that up from a marriage counselling book). In reality, it seems, a marriage needs 110/110. There are times you need to bear the heavier load to support the other in their time of need. Just look at us... I've mutated the primary topic from "helping someone gain confidence to find a girlfriend" to "what is marriage all about". Sorry ya'all. "An enlightened man would offer a weary traveler a bed for the night, and invite him to share a civilized conversation over a bowl of... Cocoa Puffs."
ZR440 Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 Not a problem. It's related to the topic. Might shed a little light into the real world. And don't believe everything you read in books. They're sometimes written by people who have failed in the subject they address. It's happy hour somewhere in the world.
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