need help on defending myself

[JLee]

ok, im a 15 year old korean who took tkd for a short amount of time (prob. a year) i got to purple belt. its been probably 7 years since i took tkd. since then i got into many fights and lost a whole lot. the reason for me getting into many fights(and losing many) is because my 5th grade year i transferred schools to a all blacks a hispanics school with probably 5 asians in the whole school. In 8th grade many guys that are more built and bigger than me started harrassing my girlfriend, i couldnt do anything b/c they were much bigger than me so i kind of left them alone, but as time passed i got more ticked off so one day when we were switching classes one of the big guys decided to mess with my girlfriend so i went up to him and shoved him, then with my tkd skills from "6 years ago" i decided it would be cool to roundhouse kick him..wow bad move, he stares at me like nothing happened and chokes me and puts me against the wall, eventually the teacher broke it up. now im a freshman in hs and almost got my * kicked a lot of times by bigger football players. im on the track and crosscountry team so i do have some ppl that got my back but i dont know how to defend myself, last week i got my * handed to me by a wrestler, i threw the first punch and knee'd him to the ground, then he tackled me down and did his little wrestling moves on me...since the past week ive been looking into Hapkido,Judo, or boxing.i heard about 90% of fights end up on the ground. i've been wondering which form of self-defense out of the 3 or any self-defense can help me the most to defend myself from those mean bullies lol, sorry the thread had to be so long..thanx for any comments

[equaninimus]

Lesson number one: Stop picking fights with people. you pretty much deserve to get your butt handed to you.

[delta1]

equaninimus, I disagree. From what he's saying, it's time for a little more 'jitsu' and a little less 'do'. Unfortunately, JLee, nothing is going to teach you to defend yourself that quickly. Not that it is not a good idea to get some training, just don't expect quick results.

 

Of the three you listed, I'd say Hapkido is your best bet. Most Judo schools are more sport oriented, though it's a good style. Boxing is good in a lot of ways, but it too is sport. Both are limmited, where Hapkido (from what I understand about it) is more well rounded. Are those the only schools in your area?

 

Another option might be to turn out for the wrestling team yourself. Wrestlers have some good skills, and more importantly, it might expand your circle of friends. That would have more immediate results as far as dealing with these bullies.

[Pacificshore]

To defend is one thing, but to fight is another. From the sounds of it, you have been placed in situations where you've chosen to fight, albeit involving your girlfriend. The best weapon at your disposal is your brain, think of other alternatives instead of violence. Train in MA for the sake of avoiding conflict and not the other way around. Stop picking fights, but at the same time don't cower down to the school yard bully.

[TJS]

Boxing will make you tough. You will learn how to take a good hit and return an even better one. Boxing is goodon it's own but would be even better if you suplemented it with wresling/judo/ BJJ.

 

I would strongly suggest you join the wresling team since it's free and will be great conditioning and held you control the position of a fight. meaning you can take people down if you want and avoid the takedown also.

[JLee]

sorry to the people that think im a moron for fighting but im not the one picking fights, some people just really tick me off, i try to just ignore them and walk away but they keep on talking smack. my parents have a rough history..somehow everyone in the school knows, when i try to ignore them and walk away they start talking about my parents...that REALLY ticks me off so i start talking about their parents, one thing leads to the other and we're exchanging punches..i know fighting is bad, but when some guy calls u a chink/chinker or talks about your family..thats just asking for a a** whooping..

[White Warlock]

Here is what it is JLee. They use those words, those insults, because they know you'll react to them. When you 'react' to their verbal jabs, you are giving them power over you. How foolish is that? I'm of the opinion you need to get a thicker skin and get a better handle on your anger. In the future, when you're in these situations, try to remember the old children's line of, "sticks and stones" ... and then smile (politely).

 

Something to also consider. Right now you're in high school... and it seems you haven't had to deal with someone attempting to outright kill you. But, if you continue to hold onto that 'thin skin' ...

 

As to what to study, i would agree that you should attempt to join the wrestling team at the high school. Wrestling is an incredibly effective combat system, sans the finishing techniques, and it will definitely get you into shape. If your school has a boxing team, i would consider that as well. Either one will not only give you a crash course in self-defense and build up your stamina, but you may end up with some 'lasting' friendships that will help you to develop your personality.

[delta1]

JLee, after your second post, it appears I may have spoke too soon. There is a big difference in calling names and 'messing with' your girlfriend. It sounds like they are just trying to get you riled, the kind of harrasment kids often do. The problem is that this sometimes is the assesment phase of conflict, whether intended that way or not. You do need to get a handle on the situation, and the others are right that the first step is getting a handle on your own temper. Stand your ground, but don't respond to verbal taunts with agression. Harrasment of your girlfriend I would take as a direct challenge, but verbal taunts can be dealt with in other ways.

[JLee]

thanks whiteworlock, ill really put some thinking into that. i cant join wrestling because of my crosscountry and track fills up my free time and schedule. now i shall go relieve my stress by taking my mom's wrx out for a joy ride. (WITH my mom inside of course)

[Sorynn]

JLee,

 

I agree with the post that White Warlock made.

 

I went to highschool in a similar environment to you. I was one of 100 white kids in an inner-city school of about 3500. Almost all of the student population was African-American with a few Hispanics and Jamacians.

 

The best advice that I could offer you is to find ways of avoiding conflict. In my experiences, if you beat a guy one-on-one, he will come back with 5 friends or with a WEAPON. This type of conflict can change or end your life forever. Are the verbal insults worth getting shot?

 

Here are a couple things that helped me:

 

1) Sports, sports, sports. Become friends with the guys that play contact sports. I was the only white kid on the football team, and quickly became friends with the other football players and wrestlers while we where working out in the weightroom. In my experience, the athletes where friends or related to the hoods in the school. Once the large athletes and hoods had my back I was mostly safe.

 

2) Expect to be teased and do not take yourself too seriously. I became used to being teased about being white, and would even make jokes about white sterio-types. Most bullies will tease people to make them upset. If it does not phase the person they will try something else or move on to a different person (an easier target).

 

3) Become happy with yourself. Learn to love and value yourself. If you are comforable with who you are, what you look like and how you think, those ignorant, small-minded people that taunt you are insignificant. After a while, you may even begin to feel sorry for them.

 

Please feel free to PM me if you would like to speak in private.

 

Respectfully,

 

Sorynn