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Christmas Food Rules


SaiFightsMS

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Christmas Food Rules

 

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they are serving rum balls.

 

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch because you can’t find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who cares that is has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnonog-aholic or something. It’s a treat - enjoy it! Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

 

3. If something comes with gravy, eat it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes and fill it up with gravy. Eat the whole volcano. Repeat.

 

4. Only eat mashed potatoes made with whole milk and cream. If they’re made

 

with skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic

 

transmission.

 

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?!

 

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between new and New Year’s.

 

You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time

 

for taking long naps which you will need after circling the buffet table while

 

carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

 

7. If you come across something really good at the buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

 

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.

 

When else do you get to have more than one dessert.... Labor day?

 

9. One final tip: if you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table you haven’t been paying attention. You will need to remain until the threat abandoning the leftovers has passed.

 

Reread the tips; start over, but hurry - January is just around the corner!

 

Have a Merry Christmas everyone !!

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and don't feel to bad, i've never seen it either. i'm not really an egg man. maybe it's not a midwestern thing either :P

"I hear you can kill 200 men and play a mean six string at the same time..."-Six String Samurai

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:D :D :D Very good advice Sai!!!! :D :D :D

 

I think I will follow it!!!! Ill just have to work it off in Jan. :)

 

But..... Its worth it!!!!!!!! :brow:

 

A Happy Holiday to ALL!!! :D

Pain is only temporary, the memory of that pain lasts a lifetime.

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Sai, you are my type of holiday party animal! Have a merry one, and the rest of you too!

 

Oh, and I'm sorry to hear that some of you are deprived of the joys of egg-nog (which isn't, wothout the alcohol). But try to have a good one any how :) .

Freedom isn't free!

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oh god, I love eggnog... drink it by the carton... and yes the rummm is necessary :)

 

Happy Holidays All

Goju Ryu Karate-do and Okinawan Kobudo, 17 Years Old 1st kyu Brown Belt in in Goju Ryu Karate-do, & Shodan in Okinawan Kobudo

Given enough time, any man may master the physical. With enough knowledge, any man may become wise. It is the true warrior who can master both....and surpass the result.

I AM CANADIAN

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Christmas Food Rules

 

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they are serving rum balls.

 

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch because you can’t find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who cares that is has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnonog-aholic or something. It’s a treat - enjoy it! Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

 

3. If something comes with gravy, eat it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes and fill it up with gravy. Eat the whole volcano. Repeat.

 

4. Only eat mashed potatoes made with whole milk and cream. If they’re made

 

with skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic

 

transmission.

 

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?!

 

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between new and New Year’s.

 

You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time

 

for taking long naps which you will need after circling the buffet table while

 

carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

 

7. If you come across something really good at the buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

 

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three.

 

When else do you get to have more than one dessert.... Labor day?

 

9. One final tip: if you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table you haven’t been paying attention. You will need to remain until the threat abandoning the leftovers has passed.

 

Reread the tips; start over, but hurry - January is just around the corner!

 

Have a Merry Christmas everyone !!

 

haha! Brilliant :D + That makes me feel better about not doing any excecise recently! hehe

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