first time i got beaten up

[Guy_Mendiola]

They Carry the toy guns.

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i just thought i might drop in to this topic and give you lot and update on my situation, hoping that i would learn form this experience for the benefit doesnt seem to be the situation at this point.

 

These days i generally feel more afraid than i used to be, i feel less encouraged and less confident than ever. For some reason i was always get afraid or prepared and defensive whenever i see an ugly face looking to start trouble. I never used to be like this and i would always had the confidence to stand up to so many people, i mean a weak before this incdient i stupidly stood up to 12 people. But there aint no sign of that there anymore, there is no sign of me being encouraged or confident. I feel angry now at the muggers of the way theyve changed me, i kept on saying to myself that i dont care what happened and it will pass, but for some reason it like to stay there all the bloody time.

 

Soz i sound too emotional but im surprised myself that ive let things to become so melodramatic.

 

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[equaninimus]

That isn't unusual. Have you tried getting some sort of counseling? The first time I was mugged, I went to campus the next day and just sat in the UC, never leaving the table. Missed my classes, including the ones I was TA'ing, and was afraid to go home that night, becaase I would have to take the same bus route and walk the same block where I had been mugged. I had trouble sleeping, and was turning into a basket case. I finally went to the counseling centre and got some help.

[White Warlock]

The problem seems to be that you did not have an attitude of proactive commitment. That is something that is seriously lacking in a lot of martial arts training these days, where too many schools focus too much on the spirituality of the arts. The spiritual may outlast the physical, but it gets the crap beat out of it in the meantime!

Agreed.

hoping that i would learn form this experience for the benefit doesnt seem to be the situation at this point.

Hopefully this won't be taken the wrong way.

 

Ad, it is rare that someone gains the opportunity to realize they have limitations. Being bested outside of a 'controlled' environment can be one of the biggest blows to one's confidence, but that is primarily due to the fact their confidence was ill-founded. Take it as a blessing in disquise. You now know far more about your limitations and the flaws in your approach to the study of martial arts.

 

The benefits are not in your becoming a better fighter, nor in gaining confidence. At least not at the onset. The benefits are in gaining a better understanding of what you need to work on.

 

Seriously, people spend decades focusing on the wrong things. Obviously your confidence would have taken a serious blow. All that practice and when it came down to it, you didn't switch into the proper mindset.

 

But, here you are in your teens, you have obtained insight into your mismanagment of modes (mindset, or conditions of human awareness, as Rich67 puts it), and your not taking the most appropriate action, which was to leave the scene or bringing attention to the driver of what you witnessed happening to someone else. Also, considering you 'did' opt to stay in a threatening situation, giving your wallet wouldn't have been so bad and option, right?

 

Ad, consequence -- recognizing for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction -- is an issue that many martial artists learn to respect. Unfortunately, it can also be a crutch and a route to inaction, with an assumption that no action will have no reaction. It is a false assumption, because you only have control of 'your' actions. You do not have control of the actions of others, and therefore your 'inaction' won't prevent them from acting. Holding back because you are concerned something may escalate and a gun may be brought to the fore... is placing 'control' into the hands of the assailant(s).

 

This is a difficult issue, but it 'can' be learned and you 'can' develop your responses, just as you can develop your kicking and striking skills. Training your mind is just as essential as training your body. Some would say it is more important and at this point, i'm sure you would agree with them, but they are both equally important.

 

The facts are this: You recognized a threat, but failed to extricate yourself from the area in which the threat existed. You witnessed a crime, but failed to act responsibly in reporting the crime. When approached, you failed to hand over your personal belongings even though you were in a disadvantageous position (trapped, two opponents, different angles, older/larger), you steadfastly held onto the 'prey' state, rather than switching into predator mode.

 

If you look at all those facts, NOTHING there indicates ANYTHING about whether you had 'superior' fighting ability. In fact, ALL of it demonstrates you need to work on building good judgement. Basically, you painted yourself into a corner by inaction, and therein preventing yourself the 'option' of using any skills you may have acquired over the past three years.

 

Look, everyone makes bad calls and nobody is unbeatable. Being afraid to die or be maimed is a common human characteristic. In fact, it is something that you can learn to take advantage of (learning to instill the fear of death or disfigurement on your potential adversaries). I recommend accepting your mortality, accepting that you will eventually die, and then working to preserve your life for as long as possible. Hey, guess what... you're probably already there.

 

Switching gears, I wanted to touch upon where you should go from here. I again find myself agreeing with Equaninimus, in that you should seek counseling to 'cope' with what happened. Being victimized is not merely a physical issue, it is also a mental one. And although you can reenter the dojo and punch out a few bags, or get overly aggressive with your training partners, it is not going to resolve your "coulda, woulda, shoulda" feelings, nor are you going to effectively manage it alone (yes, i know... we're here, but we can't gauge your emotions... or your facades through the internet). Your feelings now are normal and it is an indication that your mind is working to 'heal' itself, but having professional guidance will help to ensure the incident leaves but a minor scar (psychologist, not psychiatrist... and no, don't take any medications).

 

Last thing to think about: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. You're free to walk the streets and they are awaiting a prison sentence.

[kle1n]

actually i think you did the right thing. cause if you would have fought back the other mugger could have taken a gun and killed you. so dont think bad about yourself, you did much more right than wrong!

[Bob Bandimore]

Dont feel ashamed, the first time i fought I was beaten- lack of experience in tight situations.

[Justfulwardog]

For future tense, visualization can be your best teacher as a martial artist. Visualize many senarios. Act them out. Think about your every move. Give yourself many realistic handycaps.

 

This will give you more to work with the next time, and it will build confidence.

[turonaga]

ad, you feel the same until now? any updates?

[Rich_2k3]

Ad,

 

I totally think you did the right thing and I think if u did attack one of them u wud probably be dead, agaisnt a group of that size nobody cud win, I'd bet you that not one person on this forum would be able to defend agaisnt those odds, no matter what there training, u did the best thing that anyone cud possibly do, U GOT THE HELL OUT OF THERE, and lived with minimal injuires to tell the story. Now I know u are may be afraid of other attacks but think of it like this, u know how it is to be attacked and u have extra knowledge that will help u if it ever happens again, if its one or a few ppl then u cud probably take them, but a large group and sitting down, nobody could. If anyone is attacked by a large group then they should run, and thats what u did, there was no other alternative. Well done, train hard, workout, get over it.

[kle1n]

getting over it is the hardest part.