Comfy Chair

Your bones commonly shatter bullets and they aren't even sharp.

The hit yourself in the face with a bench portion seems somewhat counterproductive.

That's not really a good analogy and it's also highly dependant on the aquatic setting. In shallow water the croc would have the advantage, in deep the shark. Not to mention that the Crocodile doesn't equate to the knight as Crocodiles are ambushers not wariors. They'd be more comparative to an assasin, hide, strike once and fast... and if they miss they just head back to the edge of the water to wait for someone else to waltz by. Furthermore a great white shark is massive, the comparison between them is more like a ninja vs. a giant than anything. Also if you take away the knights greatest advantages than of course the samurai has a better chance of winning. For example the "no armor" rule... why would the knight be battling without his armor? Does the Knight at least get his shield? meh.. I've just always found it rather rediculous to compare too things and then take away ones advantages in the claim of fairness. It's like if someone claimed they were smarter than you and set up a test knowing you were great at math and he was spectacular at history and the only thing on the test were history questions.